We had a heart to heart talk and she told me that she didn't sleep with ANYONE while we were apart. This totally floored me as we are talking about 2 1/2 years and she is a very attractive woman. I just assumed she had been with other men. During our time apart I had sex with 3 women, no real relationships, just sex for the most part. I haven't told her this. Now I am terrified, what if she asks? How will she react? Why did she NOT get involved with anyone? This is like a time bomb now. Maybe she is lying and just didn't want to tell me about the other men because she was afraid of my reaction?
Help!
2006-07-13 05:16:47 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's because women just don't operate the same way men do. She probably had plenty of offers, but wasn't quite emotionally ready to become intimate. For most women, going out and having sex nonchalantly isn't satisfying.
If I were in your shoes, I'd say nothing until she asks. My guess is that she suspects that you've had sex but doesn't want to hear it. If she asks, be truthful. She'll be hurt, but she'll get over it.
If she's lying, then never mind. That shouldn't make a difference to you about how you feel towards her. Do you think that if she had sex with someone that that somehow puts you both on the same level of morality (or lack thereof)?
You were apart for 2.5 years. What each of you did was your choice. You chose to get back together. Draw a line. It's history. Move forward with your relationship together.
2006-07-13 05:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She probably isnt lying. Just be honest with her. What if, for some reason, you lie and it somehow she finds out. It would kill her. Tell her the truth. She will probably be kinda disgusted at first but understand that. Tell her that it meant nothing and the past is the past. Tell her how much you love her and how grateful you are that you dont have to be with anybody else.
On the other hand, 2 1/2 years is a long time. Im sure she had some sort of male physical contact. Maybe no sex, but something.
2006-07-13 05:24:35 · answer #2 · answered by chlobug26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask, don't tell. No confession is required. What you did as a single person is not a discussion you are required to have, nor is she required to confess either. Switch the subject, and if you are confronted, simply say, " I never stopped thinking of you.... it was a mistake that we parted, but now that we are together again," The big confession is a sham, and you cannot win If you confess, she will be angry, if you say there were none she will wonder what the hell is the matter with you. It is "loose, loose" proposition. And let her know, that you don't wish to know about what she did either..... the past is over. The important thing is that you still love each other. What happened those years is not open for discussion.....period. Then be a man, and shut the hell up, and do not change your opinon....you'll only open a Pandora's box
2006-07-13 05:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not tell her!!!!! Chances are, she probably did have sex with other people and does not want to tell you, because she thinks you haven't. You guys were split up, you have no obligation to tell her what you did when you were not with her. You were apart for 2-1/2 years , had it been 2-1/2 months, that would be different. Things happen. Leave it at that and don't rock the boat.
2006-07-13 05:24:29 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She avoids you, hardly ever needs to have sex with you and she or he's in this dovie talkie courting such as her ex. She appears like she necessary a roof over her head even as she went back to you till she has a good interest and funds is the least of her complications. You pay the expenditures and the different guy pays her a visit the following and there. be careful you're literally not taken for a fool
2016-11-01 23:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it's possible that she is fibbing to protect your feelings... but it's also possible that she really did not...especially if she still loved / was in love with you and was hoping to work things out eventually... some people have very deep emotions and do not move on very quickly... also she knows what alot of people know... that sex without an emotional attachment, can leave you feeling more depressed , lonely, and unfufilled than no sex at all... especially if you love someone else... a quickie with a stranger is no substitute... since you did have sex with others... its really up to you if you want to be honest and clear the air on what you did.. at the same time if you were both seperated for 2 and 1/2 years ... is it really anyones business what went on during that time? unless you were still seeing each other and working on your marriage during that time... it's not... but can you live with the secret? that's the real question, and only you can answer that... will it eat you up inside? will it interfere with your feelings and with the relationship?? if the answer is yes... you know what you have to do...but either way... may I suggest you at least have blood work done to insure you have not contracted any sexually transmitted ilness/ infection or disease? a condom does not protect against all of them... so you really need to do this for both of you........ my advise is to remember what it was like to be apart, never take each other for granted ,and always be affectionate and loving..... my best wishes to you both in your renewed relationship!!!!!!!!...
2006-07-13 05:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Fortune 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 1/2 years is a very long time. I don't think it is unreasonable that you had sex during that time. In fact, I am betting that she did too but didn't want to tell you for fear of your reaction. Lying to her isn't going to make things any better and if you wait too long to come clean it will just make things that much worse. Be honest with your wife and tell her that you did have sex during that time. You might be surprised with how well she takes it...
2006-07-13 05:23:51 · answer #7 · answered by la_diablita_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For heaven's sake, don't lie. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, you might as well be damned for being a upstanding man and telling the truth. Lies can come back to haunt you later and make things even worse. And yeah, you kinda should've told her then ... but the thing is, you were apart. You weren't married. You were back in the game, up for grabs, not tied down, etc. But since you've been back together you've been faithful, and that's what counts - right?
2006-07-13 05:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by staubfinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest It will help in the long run.. Don't lie might make things worse. Can she expect you to not have after 2 1/2 years? She might understand and then you can move on.. You also might be right with her lying about not being with someone not to hurt you.
2006-07-13 05:23:49 · answer #9 · answered by Ikika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could very well of not gotten sexually involved with anyone...then again she could just be saying that. Just be honest with her, you were separated and divorced for 2 1/2 years...not like you were just split up. She might be disturbed by it, but she will come to live with it and would appreciate it more if you were honest about it. If the women where no where close to your town then hey wouldn't hurt to leave them out...glad to hear you are back together!
2006-07-13 05:25:50 · answer #10 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋