What should I do?

Question

I have just recently broken up with a long term boyfriend of a year. We are still friends but I was wondering what I should do. Should I be his friend or not because I still have really strong feelings for him n everytime i try to explain it to him he gets mad or doesn't want to talk about it and he acts like he doesn't care that I am hurting. He tells me that he loves me and bla bla but his actions show me different. He has already ****** other girls when we were trying to get back together. I am trying to be his friend but it hurts to be his friend and it hurts to not talk to him at the same time. I love him so much! Recently, I have felt like I didn't care about him or us anymore but then just about 2 days I started to feel those feelings again. I am starting to believe that I am falling for him even harder even after all the **** we have been thru and all the selfish things he has done. What should I do?

Answer 1

Unfortunately it is very rare to be able to remain friends afterwards, and near impossible if you still have feelings for him that are more than friendship. He may care about your feelings but doesn't want to get drawn into consoling you or getting back together. Sadly for you, it's obviously not what he wants. He seems to have moved on and you shoud as well. I'd forget about trying to be friends with him. I'm not saying consider him an enemy or anything, just don't go seeking him out, hanging out with him, calling him, etc. Yes, it hurts but it IS true that you WILL get over it. Funny thing too is, sometimes, if there are still any feelings left, when one appears to be moving on and doing well, the other is sometimes drawn to that. Don't count on that though, just move on. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Let go.

Answer 2

I've found that it's not feasable to be friends with someone you care about very much. At least initially. There's a woman I was crazy about. We tried the friendship thing, but it was too difficult at first (for me anyway). I wanted her too badly. Over time we stayed in touch via email and after a few years we've been able to be friends, somewhat. I don't hardly ever see here, but the pain is gone now and I could if the opportunity came up. Be careful, you're better off not being friend for now, over time yes though.

Answer 3

You should stop continuing to hurt your self. Don't try to make something out of something that there once was. If he doesn't want to hear about your feelings than don't give him the opportunity to be able to hear about your thoughts, and feelings. I know easier said than done, but there is one thing that you need to keep in mind and that is (life is hard but no one said you have to do it alone) everyone is different so what i suggest you do is find the best way for you to overcome this obstacle weather it be friends, family, or someone new for the time being. Sweetie do your self a favor and don't allow this jerk to keep hurting, manipulating, and embarrassing you in ways that make you obviously so unhappy.

Answer 4

I think in this situation it would be best for you to move on. It sounds like he already has. Being friends sounds like a bad idea because it seems to be causing you alot of pain. I know that it is very hard to give up someone that you love and care for, but if the relationship is not good for both of you it will be damaging to you in the long run. Take some time for yourself and just let your heart heal.

Answer 5

WOW, a whole year! why DID YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM ANYWAY? But that's not as impt. as much as why he has cheated on you since, and why you are depressed over your decision, and more importantly his indifference to your pain. Listen sweets, you think you may love this guy, but believe me 1-year does not a relationship make. He wants to play the field right now. The way to win him back is to go out there and see if maybe you can find someone else that you my want to **** also. Me strong in front of this guy and you may have him back anytime! Sometimes we have to play games to win over others, it's sad but true, I like ,to call them love games. you will play them all your life, and that's ok , once you get the hang of it Confidence my dear!

Answer 6

Reread your statement, dear, and decide then if this pain is all worth it. Breaking up is painful ,yes, but it will fade. This boy doesn't sounds like a good candidate and you need to cut the cord completely. That means not being his Friend and moving on with your life. Good luck, dear.

Answer 7

i think you should just walk away it will make it even harder for you if you are still in love with him that will probably take a while to go away, if every time you talk to him about how you are feeling and he doesnt care then obviously he doesnt love you, if you love him then you will walk away dont be afraid, you will be a better person for doing it.in time you will get over him and find someone who loves you and cares for you.

Answer 8

The problem with being his friend, is that he is comfortable with you, and every time he is lonely, or not getting along with his new fling, he may come back to you, his comfort zone, and keep useing you. I think it is good to be friendly, but don't stay to close. Its easyer to sever the ties and moved on then to have to reopen the wound every time he is arround.

Answer 9

keep ur distance for time,time heals wounds..do things to get ur mind off of him and eventually someone lese will come around and you'll forget all about ur ex,,if hes been with other girls and u and him havent gotten back together then that should tell u something.go out and enjoy urself dont waste ur time stressin over him

Answer 10

Don't be with the friend. I mean would you want one of your friends to do that to you. What about the other guy? Does he value his friendship with your ex at all? Step outside of the group and move on to something different.