So here it is, I am a 22 year old women, I am bisexual, and I have a serious girlfriend. I met her while I was with my ex boyfriend (with whom I have a child with), so it is not like she didnt know I liked guys. So anyways, it started out a mess and I basically told her in the beginning that she had to deal with it, and that if I wanted to **** guys I would, and she was "alrightr" with it so I thought. Well thankfully I never did, because I cant just go out and have sex with some random guy I have to have an attraction and at least know them a little bit...so anyways now all of a suddent she isnt ok with it...and I am not sure who is right...since she knew how I was and that was the deal how can she expect me to not want to sleep with guys...I happen to love sex, it has been about 8 months since I have last had it and I REALLY miss it...I guess it just is worse when she told me I cant....I need an opinion.....
2006-07-13 04:55:09 · 16 answers · asked by Joelyn 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You can't have your cake and it your pussy too.(thank you the l word). Just kidding. It is important that you should respect the girl just like you would a guy. a lesbian relationship is no less important.
2006-07-13 07:32:44 · answer #1 · answered by Betty Sue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The complicated part is that she was alright with it at one point. Changing the rules in the middle of a relationship changes everything. Maybe she didn't expect your relationship to be this serious? Or maybe she believed that you would be monogamous. It sounds to me, if you mis it that much, you shouldn't really be in a lesbian relationship. Would it bother you if she wanted to go out and sleep with other women? If not then what you need is an open relationship. If it would bother you, then you need to re-evaulate your standards, because that's honestly a double standard. If you were with a man, would you expect him to allow you to go out and have sex with women also? If you wouldn't even desire that, then maybe you are bisexual, but you DEFINITELY prefer men. That's ok, everyone has different preferences, but if you expect monogamy, then you have to be in a relationship where you can be monogamous as well.
You said "how can she expect me to not want to sleep with guys...I happen to love sex, it has been about 8 months since I have last had it and I REALLY miss it..." It seems just expects you to be faithful. Do you have a good sex life with her? Do you experiment and do different things? I think I know what you're saying. Sometimes lesbians are much more sensual, sweet, romantic etc. But alot of women occassionalyl have that desire for a good, hard f**k...for lack of a better word. I do apologize. Even lesbians feel this way sometimes. It's hard to find that with women, but not impossible. It takes experience and openness to the idea. It took me about 8 years to be able to have that rough and tumble kinda sex.
Just think about what YOU want. If she expects monogamy, decide whether or not you can provide that, then go from there.
P.S. Another reason she may have been ok with it in the beginning may also be because she just wanted to be with you so bad, she would have accepted any terms, not really thinking about it actually happening.
2006-07-13 12:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by scorp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not about being bi or heterosexual, it is a matter of being faithful and apparently you don't feel like being steady in that relationship. You don't feel like being in a real relationship where it is the commitment, you just want fun. Get a guy as a boyfriend, or at least as a friend and break up with your girlfriend because both of you have no the same expectations: she wants total engagement and you are not ready.
2006-07-13 12:08:25 · answer #3 · answered by C6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek help from a physiciatrist. It sounds as though you are suffering from a mental disorder, known as Nymphomania.
The list of medical symptoms mentioned in various sources for Nymphomania includes those listed below. Note that Nymphomania symptoms usually refers to various medical symptoms known to a patient, but the phrase Nymphomania signs may often refer to those signs that are only noticable by a doctor:
Persistent thoughts about coitus or sexual images
Compulsive masturbation
Promiscuous sexual activity
Out of control behaviour
Personality change
Anxiety
Depression
Low self esteem
Substance abuse
Alcoholism
Repeated unsuccessful relationships
Person becomes obsessed with obtaining sexual gratification, to the detriment of their normal (social, occupational, recreational activities); often repeated attempts to cease behaviour are unsuccessful.
2006-07-13 14:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by Shayna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You indicate that you are in a serious relationship with this girl. If you love her and want to be with her then you should want to commit to her and ONLY her.....not with another guy and not with another girl. I would be hurt, upset, and worried, too, if I was in your girlfriend's position. Maybe you need a more open relationship with someone else.
2006-07-13 15:32:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's either an open relationship or it's not. Both of you have to agree on which one it is. It's fair to re-evaluate where the relationship is an any given time, she should be allowed to open it for discussion as the relationship developes. Still, you both have to agree on what it is, otherwise, it isn't going to work.
Good luck.
2006-07-13 12:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by pammy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants a one on one relationship and you do not. You need to either break up with her and find someone who is o.k. with your lifestyle or drop the guy thing.
You obviously won't like option 2 so it sounds like option 1 is what you'll be happiest with.
Good luck
2006-07-13 12:02:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just being greedy, and I said the same thing to my ex-girlfriend, that your ex-girlfriend said to you about being ok with it. But once you start to really care about someone, you don't want to know that someone else's lips have kissed you, and etc. It's just not fair to her honestly. You have to see where she's coming from, and realize that she may really care deeply for you.
2006-07-13 14:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by graciefaith1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go back to a normal boy/girl relationship. If you really miss sex with men that much, than you are probably not bi.
2006-07-13 11:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you child will find out more about you what you been doing and sure will have nothing to do with you anymore and will put your child really hate you more. I see why you go with women becasue they can't get you have baby???? just remember women carries HIV and AID and other stuff do you ever wonder about that???
2006-07-13 16:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋