why are we shy?

Question

http://www.myislamweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7772

Answer 1

Because we fail to see shyness as an act of self-centeredness.
Don’t get me wrong, but I feel if we stop caring what others think about us, and start considering more important things in life; then we won’t remember to be shy.
Put a person in a group of close friends… he/she would excel, but tell he/her friends to sit down… she becomes shy.
We should all try to be less concerned about the next person to us……cos
Shyness = insecurities

Answer 2

Shyness has multiple causes. However, except for possible genetic factors, it may be said that Shyness is the result of a process. This process can be explained in several ways, depending on the psychological current followed by the professional. Each current emphasizes a set of factors or causes to develop Shyness or any other psychological problem.

I've heard / read all about several causes of shyness:

Parents or one of the parents is plagued by Shyness. - A parent's own self-depreciation leads to depreciating or not trusting her child.

Parents-or one of them-is very aggressive. This imparts to the child a vision of others as potentially hostile.

Silent or public humiliating experiences - This corrodes or distorts the self that is being developed.

Critical relatives - Some families have a very critical culture. This posture can be veiled or open, direct (towards itself) or indirect (towards outsiders).

Shaming family problems - It is common for children and teenagers to feel ashamed, for instance, while their parents are separating. This can be overcome in a short time or may linger as a form of self-depreciation. Family problems of other natures can also cause this damage.

Unaffectionate, cold families - In some families the members do not express their feeling or do so very seldom, especially tender loving care and joy for the accomplishment of their members. Tis can contribute indirectly to Shyness, insofar it does not help develop a personal perception of one's capacity for accomplishment or feeling of being esteemed and respected by others.

Experiences such as these develop perceptions of the self as fragile and subject to criticism from others.

I was very shy all throughout highschool, gaining popularity in my senior year, and I had a lot of friends at that point, I was still very shy.

Then...I went off to college. I moved 2000 miles away. No one knew me. I thought. "I can be anybody." Who would know the person I was in high school? no one!

So, when I moved, I decided to try something maverick. I became the person I wanted to be. Outgoing, not caring what others thought, I did what I wanted to do. It was cool or the "in thing" to smoke and get high... I didn't want to, so I did neither, but I decided that I wouldn't be shy. I would have no reservations. I started conversations, I joined clubs...all of a sudden, although I was the same person inside, on the outside I wasn't.

Then I moved to Florida, and kept up being confident. It wasn't easy, but I forced myself because I was never happy being shy...I let too many opportunities pass me by. I ended up being in a heavy metal band. I was on stage performing a few times a month, we practiced in front of an audience...none of it ever bothered me, in fact...I was more comfortable on stage than anywhere else.

Even back in grade school, I acted in plays, I felt more comfortable. Instead of being in a classroom where you can see all the eyes and ears upon you...you can't make any of that out when a spotlight is on you, it's like being in an empty room only you know the people are there and that they are there supporting you...it's a good feeling.

Even today, I still feel like that shy kid inside, but I won't let it show...there's no way I could do my job if I was the way I was in high school. I have to delegate responsibility, I have authority over 50 people. You need to be assertive.

It's not easy...I know...it helped me when I moved away. Without that moment in my life, I may never have become who I am. It was a great opportunity to start fresh. I hope you can find a similar method in which to grow and be who you want to be.

Just think this..."What's to be embarassed about?" Your pants falling down in public?...it happens, tripping?...it happens...if you're not hurt, crack a joke, laugh it off. If people are laughing at you..."Sticks and stones may break my bones, but flesh is better tasting." Life isn't that serious. :-)

Answer 3

I'm shy because I just don't feel comfortable around other people since my childhood was basically surrounded by adults. I never had been "socialized" around home and school was filled with strangers that I never knew how to start a conversation with- so that's why I'm shy!!

Answer 4

Shyness is a fundamental societal defense mechanism because we're all deeply afraid of being abandoned.

Answer 5

Because some people actually care what other people think if them. It is an insecurity.

Answer 6

we fear something, social feedback in a negative way, we're pessimists, or just in general we dont like people.

Answer 7

Maybe, it something that we feel, that leave us being shy around other.

Answer 8

It's genetic.

Answer 9

chemical imbalance

Answer 10

probably fear of rejection.