Have you fought about money with your significant other?

Question

I am in a serious relationship that is still new (6 mths), and we are now living together. I lived on my own for 2 years prior, so I know all about bills (I AM 24 and an office manager of a company in Atlanta, GA). However, he says he doesn't ever want to fight about money issues, but then asks me about my money. He'll ask how much something was, or if something's new, or he'll comment on my ability to pay my bills (which I always do). I have not given him a reason to act this way, as far as I know, and I did receive a large settlement and have spent money due to that. I have bought myself clothes that I needed, as well as him some, and I furnished our new house!!! Why do guys want to know all about your finances, but say they don't want to "fight about money". Am I being clear here? I just want to know how normal this is?

I am not against sharing my finances, I didn't mean to come off like that. What I meant, is he acts like he has a right to tell me what to do with it. He claims that's not what he means, but he asks these questions with a "pissy" tone. I answer him and he acts upset sometimes. I do not ask him about every dime he spends, although I don't understand why he makes 6, 000 more a year than I do (he told me his income of course, and he knows mine) but never seems to have money.

Answer 1

Sit him down, talk to him. If 2 want to make it then they have to talk about expectations and that includes money.
First of all, have him evaluate his ablities as far as money goes. Then have him evaluate yours, then you need to do the same. The result should be that you establish who handles financial affairs better-you or him. The one with the best ability should be the one handling ALL the bills. In a relationship it is of no use to seperate bills like rent, utilities, etc.etc. You can and maybe should open an account where the money for that purpose goes and whoever handles that part is responsible for it. Once a month there should be a conference about financial matters since there is always something else that can come up, such as car repairs, medical bills, etc.etc.

If he balks at the idea of submitting his income and expenditures, then you might reconsider the entire relationship. Both use the place lived in, both eat, both have needs--therefore both should pay for it, but it should be one pot where the money designated for that goes. Otherwise I do not believe that things will work out. Plus, if you can solve it in this or a similar fashion, you will not have any fights over money. Good Luck

Answer 2

Do you share money? It kinda seems like he is asking about money because he does not have enough to pay his bills. Maybe he is jealous because it seems like you have more money than him. If it is your money there is no reason why he should even question what you spend it on. I don't know why he is asking you all of these questions. Next time he does it maybe you should snap at him, so he knows that you don't like the way he questions you about it. Also maybe he does not know what he is doing. I would point out that he is the one that does not want to fight about money, and he is also the one that brings it up all of the time.

Answer 3

If you are living together he has a right to know. You shouldn't of made that big step if you aren't willing to share finances. Just let him in on yours. My husband and I fight about money it is just what happens. We work through it though. Love is stronger than anything if you fight for it. It isn't easy though♥

Answer 4

Sit down with him and tell him how you feel. If he loves you, he'll stop commenting on your ability to pay bills. Maybe he's jealous of what your capable of and what you have. Don't fall into a trap of him managing your money. Stand up for yourself.

Answer 5

Fighting over money is a given. Now that you live together, it will probably be the number one thing you fight about.

Answer 6

My ex-husband and I fought every day over money. It's a power struggle. You two need to sit down together and talk about it. Otherwise your relationship may not make it.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Tell him as soon as he says "I do" he can ask you about your finances.

Answer 9

get married !

Answer 10

yes its not fun