I met this guy . He has a child and has been with his girl for almost 5 years. We share many tramatic experiences, so that in return makes us really close. . He comes over regularly and we have dinner, watch movies and just listen to music. We have much in common. He's a very hard working man and i love that. I know he cares for his girl and we don't ususally talk about her. He never dogged her out to me which i respect very much. We have been intimate a few times and i must say it was wrong, but if doing that was so wrong i don't want to be right. He has asked " what if you find sombody"? I said i wouldn't be able to answer because that time hasn't come. He say's that he want to keep us both but, at times i feel that i cant sit around and wait for his sexy a**. I might be really feeling him but I try to keep our friendship at a comfortable level. With hope thatone day she will mess up and i will have him. Am I just crazy in love? NOT. but i am going crazy.
2006-07-13 03:55:54 · 53 answers · asked by Cookie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He say's thst he want out but she will be left with nothing
2006-07-13 04:17:10 · update #1
so in other words he told her he wanted out but supposedly she want to try and he is.....
2006-07-13 04:18:02 · update #2
To answer your question upfront: there is absolutely no telling---he seems to find in you what he is not finding with his girl, but also has with his girl what he cannot find in you. To hope that he will be with you isn't so wrong, but clinging to that hope will not help you. I also do not believe that we can stay strictly friends with a man once we were intimate with him---there is something totally different then, for some reason this carefree behavior we can display when solely friends is gone.
I can certainly understand you, but I would say try to be realistic. Chances that you will have him for yourself are slim--and in a sense the hope is selfish because there is a child who would lose its dad. Nevertheless, we have feelings---so do not feel bad about it.
I would suggest that you have your time with other friends, go out, and have some fun, without obligating yourself to anyone. This will give you a chance to get some distance which you need to sort everything out. Making friends is very important, and it looks to me like that is what you can do right now to get your mind off this issue, to be able to create some emotional distance and therefore be able to look at all of it free of emotions and as factual as possible. Once you are able to do that you might be able to come to a conclusion for yourself without having your emotions hurt.
2006-07-13 04:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You are stupid and I am not usually harsh but damn it who are you kidding? What are you doing? That man is playing you like a fiddle and you are loving it. Because if what you are doing is wrong then you do not want to be right. If you got with him and he is dogging his girl then what makes you think that down the line you would be any different. And the fact that he does not say bad things about her should not make you admire him, he should not be saying bad things about her -he is with her. HE claims her and has been for 5 years so much to the point that you are the secret he will never want her to know about you because he cares about her leaving. You leaving will mean little to nothing to him, the other woman is always easily replaced. I mean come on what are you thinking are you thinking at all? Oh, and do not mistake his "what if you find someone" question as care and concern for you! He is thinking about himself. He is thinking what if you find someone can I still come over eat your food, chill in your house and get some on the side. You are not in love you are in lust that man is only giving you half of himself at best and you hoping that one day she messes up and you can have him. Like a dog sitting under the table waiting for scraps. Value yourself a little more than that. And what if she does mess up and he is with someone other than you. What if you are the other- other woman. You do not know what this man is doing and is capable of. He is a dog. All the women in his life other than his girlfriend are good for is allowing him to burry his bone.
2006-07-13 04:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but what you two are doing is morally wrong. You should move on with your life and tell him he needs to get his head screwed on straight -- hell, both of you do! He's cheating on the MOTHER of his CHILD. Why do so many families have to be "broken?"
If somewhere down the line things don't work out, then yeah, sure he'd be fair game. As it is now, he CANNOT have his cake and eat it too (ever heard that one before???). He needs to make a choice; unfortunately, since he's already behaving irresponsibly, given an ultimatum he'd probably dump his girlfriend and their baby like the jacka$$ he's being.
No ultimatums. YOU need to end this mess right now, before more people get hurt.
(As a side-note, what's to say, he does dump this girl & gets together with you? How long do you suppose it will be before he either A) feels bad and leaves you and goes back to the mom, or B) leaves you for greener, fresher pastures? I'd give THAT a good think, if I were you.)
2006-07-13 04:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cookie, I think you know the answer to everything you've asked. WAKE UP!!! This relationship is going no where. This guy is not going to leave the woman he has a child with and I am certain that deep down inside, you know this. But being a woman myself, I know what it is like to want to be with someone so badly that you'll grasp at straws to keep believing that what you two share is real.
Okay, think about this: Let's say this guy chooses you over this woman who has his child. The two of you are together and as time goes on, he starts to stay out later, he doesn't come home straight from work, he hangs with "friends" two or three times a week...you will then know that he is doing to you exactly what he is now doing to "his girl." Let's face it chickie, a skunk--no matter what you call it or how you dress it up--is still a skunk. This joker is just enjoying the milk but doesn't want to buy the cow.
Move on with your life...find someone who truly deserves all that your unique personality can bring to a relationship. Be true to yourself and don't sell yourself short. You deserve a guy who loves you deeply and truly with all his heart. Cut this player loose!
God bless you, girl.
2006-07-13 17:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by joncarhas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody has their fantasy worlds. take it like this. you should be able to answer your own question. dont u think that he is eating his cake & the icing on it? A woman is completely different from a man..in all aspects. dont u want to have a family & marriage soon? does he hate his girl? Is he still with her only for the kid's sake? Whatever said & done he cant have you both, right? First thing analyse whether you really are in love . And it matters that he also loves you as much as you do. She obviously hasnt messed up to date.. Isnt that why he is sticking to her as well. Just because you were under a lot of emotional stress and he happened to walk along at the right moment to support you dosent mean that he is the right guy for you. I wish you would take this a little mature and seriously as it is also ruining your life and will in the future as well. You will definetely find a guy who is perfect for you or atleast you would deem him perfect. Its high time you took stock of your life and moved on.
2006-07-13 04:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by logic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If let's say he leaves the other woman, he'll find another and keep you on the side. He has a good thing going on, two women in love. That would give any man a charge.
Sorry, but your the fifth wheel. I percieve between your words a great person who would make some guy a very great companion.
Too bad you decided to extend your love with a dirt bag. He doesn't appreciate you. He's using you.
I think he comes to you because he's not getting that kind of love at home.
2006-07-13 04:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to respond to your question beforehand: there is actual no telling---he looks to locate in you what he's not searching such as his female, yet to boot has such as his female what he won't be able to locate in you. to wish that he will be with you isn't so incorrect, yet clinging to that wish gained't help you. I also do not believe that we may be able to stay strictly acquaintances with a guy after we were intimate with him---there is a few thing completely diverse then, for some reason this carefree habit we may be able to exhibit even as totally acquaintances is lengthy gone. i'll genuinely understand you, yet i'd say attempt to be lifelike. possibilities that you may have him for your self are narrow--and in a experience the wish is selfish because there's a baby who ought to lose its dad. nonetheless, we've thoughts---so do not sense undesirable about it. i'd advise that you've a even as with different acquaintances, go out, and characteristic some relaxing, without obligating your self to anybody. this promises you with a probability to get a lengthy way that you want to kind each thing out. Making acquaintances is significant, and it seems to me like that's what you should do immediately to get your ideas off this difficulty, to be in a position to create some emotional distance and for this reason be in a position to verify all of it freed from thoughts and as genuine as achieveable. once you're in a position to objective this you're in a position to go back to a end for your self while not having your thoughts damage.
2016-11-01 23:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it about women. Why do they always want a man that is already taken. You are stupid, he knows how you feel, and he is going to use you as long as he can. But I don't feel sorry for you, because you know he has a girl already. And when the day comes that he tells you he doesn't want to be with you, are you gonna be able to handle it, or are you gonna try and ruin his current relationship. I bet ruin his current one, because you said it, you are crazy. Leave him alone, you are part of the reason men have such a bad rep now. Why wouldn't a man date two women if one of them is going to be ok with it. Get your own man, and stop trying to take someone elses.
2006-07-13 04:03:15 · answer #8 · answered by johnsonjrod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but in these situations he usually never leaves her and if he does you will always be paranoid to see if he'd do the same to you, which 9 times out of 10, he will. I would say move on! You are a pretty girl, believe it or not, there are many guys out there without a girl and child at home, that would really love you and only you. Don't be a sucker for only his needs, we all have them, you shouldn't deny yourself a real relationship.
2006-07-13 04:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by LizzieBeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want someone that you already know is a cheater? He sounds like a great guy minus the cheating part but not the guy for you, go find someone who is single that has all of the same qualities and began a relationship with him. You and his gf are the only one loosing in this relationship he is getting the best of both worlds.
2006-07-13 04:04:40 · answer #10 · answered by dorleejohnson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋