my controlling guy?

Question

my guy seems to like controlling things... like what i do... and say... but it's not all the time. he also likes to...give me pain? sexuallly. the weird thing is, i find this to be super hot. but he doesn't know. should i tell him? and is the controlling thing something to worry about?

Answer 1

There's someone for everyone.

Answer 2

Someone who is controlling and giving you pain can upscale to actual violence. Right now you're into the pain, so long as you're consensual about things that's okay - but it might be a good idea to set yourself some safety guidelines. Since he's doing this without knowledge of the fact that it turns you on, it's highly likely that he doesn't care about you very much.

If this is something you're into I'd suggest leaving this relationship - find someone who's going to give you what you need in an adult and mutually consentual way, with clear guidelines, definitions, and safety precautions. If this guy was more than just a trip to the hospital or morgue waiting to happen you two would have already communicated and agreed to what your needs and limitations are.

Answer 3

Unless you are already married to this guy, I would say you should be running for the hills and fast. Any guy that's controlling in a relationship before marriage, even for the thrill or sense of giving you discomfort, will be more so and that's not a good, health place for you. I have witnessed too many women love people that simple want to control their lives and everything about their life. It lead to physical harm (beating) in some cases and family villance in a couple of others. Definitely not pretty. Hence, RUN. What woman needs this in her life? NONE.

Answer 4

You really need to get out, although you may like the sex- I can bet you can find someone else to give you just as much satisfaction without all of the other controlling issues on where you go, what you do and say etc.

Yes, you should be worried. I think you know this deep down or you would not have asked this question.

Men who are that controlling have turned out to be killers.

Answer 5

Not sure what you meant when you wrote "give me pain"...does that mean he hits you? Or are you saying "he's a pain in the buttocks?"

Either way sit down and talk to him about his controlling issues. The only way you are going to resolve this is through communications.

As far as the sex goes...yeah tell him he's great...guys like to hear that sort of stuff...makes them know that he's pleasing his girl.

But first get the controlling thing resolved. Seems like you've subjected yourself long enough and you want this relationship to work.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

I have struggle with this type of situation my self, now and in the past. I really dont think that you should tell your bo that you think this is sexy or hot. Honestly this really isnt a good trait. He should not be controlling you in any aspect, because believe me it will get worse. You really should tell him that you dont feel its cool for him to be doing this. To me it shows he has absolutely no respect for you, and this just my opinion.

Answer 7

Yipes, girl! If he's controlling now, just think how bad it would get in the future. I'd kick homeboy to the curb and try to meet someone who respects how you are rather than trying to change you.

But, nothing says you can't keep him around for sex until the new guy comes along. ;)

Answer 8

if you like the sex whats the prob there,but if hes a control freek it probably comes from his own [he feels innadicuate]yes i know i spelt that wrong.

Answer 9

sounds like trouble