How can i discourage my husband from having extra marital affairs?

Answer 1

Try satisfying him in bed for a change.

Answer 2

Was he having them before you married? A lot of women know that they have a man with a voracious appetite, marry them thinking since they snagged him that they have what it takes.

WRONG!

Men marry because they feel that you're pliable, agreeable, amenable. In short, being married lengthens men's lives. They don't have to eat out or cook, they have the built-in. Now, when the built-in gets boring or his curiosity is piqued, he can step out, not that he loves his wife any less, he just wants a new fix. Then, ego pumped, fantasy met he returns to the built-in renewed.

Now if that was taking place pre-marriage, it won't change. If anything, you can work towards being a part of the renewal. You can check out different positions, new perfume, new hairstyle. Imagine if you wanted someone new, those are the changes you put yourself through. I guarantee you, it would be work, but you'll also get a thrill taking on a new persona.

My relationship is different, but I would clue him in on the fact that "I" need a change. Not that I'm catering to him. I would let him know that although my eyes have been wandering to other men, I have no intention of trading him in, however, if I feel that way, it is quite possible you do too. "Why don't we sporadically, redesign ourselves and come home as someone totally different so that I can have some variety. If you want, you can put a post-it on the frig and we can coordinate our metamorphasis.

The morphing not only works, if your man is "really" creative, he may make requests and you can even improvise scenarios, like the affair with the French Maid or the bellhop at the hotel. Getting caught having sex in the park by a Park Ranger, etc.

Its a suggestion. What gets dangerous is opting for the threesome. We tried that and his fantasy went sour, the couple that suggested the manage-a-trois swapped and my mate found that it wasn't a fair exchange. You see, the other woman was more fond of women than men. And her husband, well he was more of a voyeur, so neither of us was as satisfied as the other couple. My mate feared that she'd take me away. That ended that fantasy, and I've never heard it mentioned again.

Be flexible. Sometimes a change for him is an adventure for you also. Just do not tell anyone outside of yourselves.

Answer 3

Toleration of a particular behavior gives the person with the tolerated behavior an unofficial approval of the behavior. If your husband has had an affair and you tolerated it, then he knows that it will be ok the next time. Here's what you need to do; Get some alone time with him and tell him that the time together is for an open honest conversation. Tell him that you will give him a "get out of trouble, FREE" card during this converstion, so anything either of you says won't be a fatal statement to your relationship. During this time you need to let him know that you know of his previous affairs (or desire to have an affair now) and that you want to make it perfectly clear what his options are relating to future affairs. Then you set the rules. Perhaps him having an affair will be fatal to your relationship. Perhaps it will allow you to have affairs. Perhaps you will decide to have an open marriage. Perhaps you will tell him that if he has an affair, NEVER come back home. All of those options and any others that you can think of are up to you. After the "rules" of having an affair are laid on the table, then it's up to you to follow through with enforcing the rules, even if it hurts. On an aside, if he has had an affair you might consider forgiving him for having it, but you need to find out why. Are there need that you don't meet? I will be happy to go into detail. Just email me at [e-mail] Good Luck

Answer 4

This is not a simple answer you dont already know. I mean, did you hear what you just said sweety? Personally, you shouldnt even be telling him to stop the extra affairs. It shouldnt even cross his mind because of MARRIAGE. And if he's been doing this for a while now while you knew all about it, then tell me again why your with him? Have you lost all respect for yourself too that you just cant seem to break away from this dependant marriage? Please, do yourself a favor. I'm sure you have already given him ultimatums and threats to chop it off and such. How bout this time you slap the divorce papers on the table where he's eating dinner and let him know your serious about this. Stop feeling so shameful and hurt. Everyday your gonna wake up next to this man knowing he's going out today with anoher woman. That's sad and he obviously doesnt realize what he has. If you have kids, that just makes it worse. How can he break a marriage apart that way? Or look at his kids and tell him he loves them knowing he's cheating and soon enough will have to fess up? DISGUSTING. Plus if he's running around, don't you find that gross enough to stop sleeping with him....infections diseases, HIV?AIDS?? I'm sure you dont want these illnesses. Please, dont stress about this anymore. I know its hard to face the fact that he's doing this to you and all the possibilities that could result in this. But open up your mind and stop thinking with your heart because he's not. Appreciate YOURSELF for what your worth and what you deserve. I'm sorry to hear of your situation. A simple question like that has great impact. But ask yourself also, without pity, why is he cheating? Has our marriage been a problem lately? Even then it's no excuse whatsoever still be cautious of those answers because he might use it as a scapegoat for you to breakdown and be "understanding". If you've already tried talking, then you know what? You tried and he didnt. Good Luck. I wish you the best

Answer 5

Dear Madam, reality is for those who do not dream dream. So wake up to that and things will work right and good.
I am a muslim- you may not like that, but thank God i am.
Islam recognises that every man is created biologically strong to be satisfied by a single woman. If you make devices to cage him and not give him the freedom he needs to aachieve this biological needs he's do it illegally.
I am sorry to say this, though an observation. The xtn woman is so engrossed with all sort of activities to keep his man solely to himself. He care less if he goes about satisfying his excess urge for as long as he never brings that home or made mention of this. However the wise one knows that this is rather posponing the evil days. When a xtn man dies, many women comes around with babies. This is not so in Islam save for those who want to copy cat the xtns.
My advice is very hard and frank. Ask him to marry another woman- if he is sincere and you cannot truly satisfy his urge. To do it with honour is safer and better. Otherwise what is subduing him is greater than what he can cope with. It is natural and manly. those who tell the type of story you want to hear are simply deceiving you.
My wife gave me an open ticket and thereby never border her head about that. I am only taking my time to marry another woman who'd be her companion and friend. I really respect her for that pragmatism.
The church is now seriously considerinmg allowing all these papal and nuns to marry. This is reality because we r all busy deceiving ourselves all along.
So candidly, take this simple advice, face reality and you'd live long and happy and praised. Otherwise!

Answer 6

if you get along OK, have sex often, and you both don't let your bodies go then you should be fine.

i know with married people often stop having sex or it becomes routine. spice it up. try new things.

you need to go out date like you did before you got married relive some of the memories.

and the last thing when you find some one most people stop doing the push ups and running miles. they figure the don't need to any more.
keeping healthy and in shape will help a lot. give each other a really good work out.

Answer 7

From a well-being attitude she ought to in all likelihood be advised, even if from a own attitude you possibility butting your nostril the position it would not belong. it really is easily a kind of topics in which a excellent answer isn't always sparkling. in basic terms the actual undeniable actuality that you said the husband with yet another female makes it difficult to be around the spouse because now you recognize something she would not. you are able to ought to weigh all the execs and cons and make the judgement call for your self. sturdy success.

Answer 8

Need more details ... what makes you think that your husband is thinking of having extra marital affairs??

Answer 9

From the sounds of your question he's already had/having an affair. If its the case I don't think you should stand for this behaviour or tolerate it. Have self respect for yourself and leave him. I don't believe committing adultery is part of your marriage vows, he is suppose to love and honour you.

Gather your will power and confront him. Affairs are wrong.

Answer 10

don't nag, don't spend too much time together, and give him one room in the house entirely for his own use.
keep your home simple but comfortable. don't spend a fortune setting the house out to your own feminine taste.
live within his income or get a job.
you should have at least one major pastime in common, such as a hobby or a sport.
don't nag. don't fill the house with relatives (yours or his) that he doesn't like. cook food he likes.
be decisive sometimes. there's nothing worse than pretending to be weak or unsure when you do have an opinion. be harsh if he does something stupid or wrong but don't carry it on for days.
don't nag, and never refuse sex as a method of getting your own way.

Answer 11

"Discourage him from having affairs"???? Wow. A man will do what a man wants to do regardless of consequence. If he wants to cheat, he will. Same goes for a woman....don't think women don't cheat.

That's like asking how can I get someone to stop smoking. They will quit smoking when THEY want to quit smoking....not before.