Do you like my poem?

Question

I made this up on the spot, I am bored. Feel free to critique, but nothing deliberately mean. Thank you!


The sun shines over head.
The trees rustle.
The street moves with life.

My head spins.
My pulse throbs.
I feel too full of life.

With books, my iced tea,
Maybe some dry cereal.
I take in the world...

The cars pass by.
The stars begin to show themselves.
And still I sit and wonder.

Life goes on.
We seem to have so much of it.
How can life stop for someone?

Nature is too great.
I don't want to stop living.
So I sit and take it in, I sit and live.

The bees buzz.
The flowers bloom.
The sweet smell of grass wafts in the air.

Life eventually ends.
So I sit and live while I can.
Until the phone rings and I go and live in a different way.

Answer 1

It's really nice to see something written that is HAPPY. Most poems are related to how a person feels. Keep it up! Keep enjoying life no matter how you are living it. I hope you pass those elated feelings on to everyone around you!

Answer 2

It's cool. I like it's little touches, about the dry cereal, and the smell of grass. It also makes me wonder what moved you to write this? Was there an event in your life? I don't know, but it's fun to wonder. One question, You started with talking about the sun shining overhead, then the stars come out, then flowers are blooming? How long were you sitting there?

Anyway, it's an interesting poem, keep writing!

Answer 3

yeah it's good
I never make a poem longer than 5 paragraphs or stanzas or whatever it calls and always got correction anywhere

Answer 4

yes.....but u could have better put the same in a way of story

Answer 5

u write cool poetry dude

Answer 6

Nice real nice. I mean that.

Answer 7

It's good.

Answer 8

It was actually not bad.

Answer 9

good use of imagery

Answer 10

yes is really good.