Big Big problem.. need urgent help?

Question

I'm 20 yrs old and I had a girlfriend for 9 months. 8 days after we had sex last time we broke up. Now, 2 months after we broke up, she came to me and told me she is preagnant. I told her to have an abortion but she wants to keep the baby and wants to make up with me. I don't love her anymore and already have another girl friend but I don't want to leave her like that. What should I do?

Oke. It's my fault because I haven't given enough details
First: I'm not American so wellfare is not an option
second: I didn't broke up with her she broke up with me
third: I can not be sure that the baby is mine since she broke up with me for another guy and in two months.... who knows
fourth: I'm not ready to be a full time dad yet.. I can afford to take care of her and the baby and I am willing to do it but she wants to get married and this is my problem
Should I marry a woman I don't love anymore? Wich is better for the child? To have 2 parents that always argue and fight or to live with only one of them? And as I said I am willing to help any way I can.

Answer 1

First let her know your not interested in making up - Second tell her to leave you alone until she gets a paternity test done - If it shows your the babys father - depending on your personality - do what you feel you should do -

Answer 2

Well looks like you will be making child support payments. It is her body and her choice to keep the baby which she is smart to do. I hate the fact that some men can only suggest abortion which is killing an innocent child anyway. You could have used protection when you slept with her knowing that you have no intentions of being with the woman forever you know. I hope in the future while you are out banging these women that you use some protection to prevent this because it is just as much your fault as the woman's.

Answer 3

Congrats daddy. You can't make some one KILL an innocent life because of the lack of responsibility. She does have the right to keep the baby. For the sake of the child you two need to be civil for the sake of the unborn child. You may not want to be with her but that unborn baby is your responsibility. It take two to tango as they say. I am a single parent to 3 and I am telling you this because I have been there. It is important for the mom and dad to be civil and RESPECTFUL of each other. I am not telling you to dump your new girl but if you want that relationship to work if that baby is yours you need to be honest with your new girlfriend. Good luck and make the right decision parenting at a young age is hard but I am quite sure you knew it could happen and when you play you pay. Sometimes unfortunate for the child but you will need to think about your situation. She also needs to see a doctor. And both of your parents should also know, they may be very supportive and might be very hurt at first but this is also there grand baby to.

Answer 4

Let her make her own decisions.. You don't have to be back with her if you don't want to.. but when you decided to have unprotected sex with her you took the chance of bringing a child into this world.. You can still try to be there for her as a friend and as a father to that child.. Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and talk and see what you can do to make the situation the best it can be, so when this child comes into the world it has two parents that get along and want nothing more than to be good parents.. good luck

Answer 5

1.If she has decided to keep the baby,but you are not interested in the child(you might regret in later years)........you can maybe denounce yourself as the father,which gives the mother the right to have a future husband maybe adopt the child.
2.If you do however want to be active in the childs life, helping her through her pregnancy and helping pay some of her medical expenses and child support after the child is born gives you the right for weekend visits holidays etc.

I am in my 40's and I have a 14 year old. My ex and I worked through option 2 and it has really been a wonderful experience. He sees her regulary and we have remained close friends.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 6

First of all, don't try to talk her into having an abortion. That is something that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. You have to step up and help her. You helped to create this situation. Adoption is a great option as there are many families out there waiting for a baby. I'm not suggesting to get back together because of the baby, but at least help her get through this highly emotional and scary time for her.

Answer 7

Be a man - you'll be a dad soon. Own up to your responsibilities, get back with the mom of the baby and start a life together for your child. The time is past when you can be selfish - you have made a new life. Actions have consequences and if you can't keep it zipped, you have to grow up and do the right thing.

Answer 8

What kind of a BOY are you for telling her to get an abortion??? Not only are you totally irresponsible but you are also a murderer! Do you have any conscience at all? What would've happened if your mom got an abortion when she had you? If you don't want any kids or if you didn't love the girl enough to marry her in the first place, then have you ever heard of contraceptives???

Answer 9

NICE....what a jerk. Nothing like killing for conveniance! Ugh, it is pigs like you that give guys a bad name.

Guess if you want to play the game, you have to pay the price. Hope you have a job because now 33% of it is going to support your child. Do her a favor and DO NOT get back together with her......


Thanks for the clarifications-----okay, so maybe your not AS much of a jerk as I thought....and the answer is NO, I stick by my words---do NOT get back with her, and do NOT marry her....marriage based ONLY on a child is not a good thing.

Answer 10

first you should go to the dr. with her to make sure she really is. than if you dont love someone you cant be with someone but you r young and as you get older you will find it is not hard to fall in and out of love with the same person. at one point you had good feelings for this girl so you might want to take time out and really think about this it might be worth taking another chance, but you also have to put the baby first what is best for he r she and if you dont want to try again how you are going to feel when another man is with her and your child,jsut make sure it will be the best for both parties

Answer 11

At this point your stuck with her practically for the rest of your life since you will share a child together. If she's not all that bad I would try to make it work. You will have to pay child support and if she ends up with someone else your child might someday look at that person as their dad.