Am I a bad person?

Question

I going to be giving birth soon and I don't want anyone at the hospital until we have the baby. Everyone thinks that's so rude. My husband and I would like it to be just us because we had to carry the baby for 9 months. I explain to everyone that we just want our little family there not everyone. They just don't understand. Am I wrong for wanting it to be this way?

I figure we would let everyone come after the baby is cleaned and comfortable, the same goes with me.

I just want to say thanks for being on my side. You are all so wonderful and understanding.

Why can't our families be that understanding?

Answer 1

Absolutely you are not a bad person! I didn't want anyone around when we had our baby either. I mean, I wanted my family and his family at the hospital, but in the actually labor and delivery room, I wanted it to be just us. I ended up having a c-section, so it was just us and the doctors and nurses anyway.

I didn't even want our mothers to come and stay with us when we got home with our baby. I didn't want company until we got on some kind of schedule, just the three of us. Even though I had a c-section and it took me a little longer to get going afterwards, we still did it that way. And I'm very glad we did.

Answer 2

You and your husband sneak off when it is time and if other people follow you to the hospital then tell the nursing staff that you want your privacy and time together after the child is born. Others will not be allowed into the delivery room and the staff will keep them away from you if that is what you want.

I think those people are being rude though it sounds as if this might be some sort of a cultural thing where families are seen to be supportive if they are attentive at the birth.

But this is your special moment with your husband and if you both want it to be just the two of you then, him being the head of the house, should stand by you and take charge and tell them what you both want. You do not need the stress of dealing with this sort of stuff while you are in your condition.

Answer 3

I would say thats fine. First of all, from experience, nobody will see the baby until the baby is comfortable in the nursery. The hospitals we gave birth in did not allow anyone into the room before, during or after the birth happened. They were allowed to sit in the waiting room if they wanted to. Nobody saw or touched the baby until after the mother was moved to a room out of delivery and recovery.

Easy way to keep everyone out. Don't tell them when you are going to the hospital until after the baby arrives.

Answer 4

I think that is a reasonable request. Just explain to your family that you would love for them to come visit after you have had a chance to rest after having the baby. It will also give you a chance to hold your baby without feeling like you have someone hanging over you wanting to hold him or her. You are not rude and if they can't respect your wishes then tell them that they can just wait until you come home to see the baby. You are only talking about a difference of a couple af hours ( depending on what time the baby is born at). Congratulations and Good Luck!

Answer 5

I was the same way. Thankfully, my first son was born at 1:15 a.m.! I was scheduled to be induced Monday at 4:00 p.m., and everyone was working, so I told them I'd call them after he was born. I didn't call until the next day. My second was an emergency c-section, two weeks early, and the ony people who knew I was having him were my husband and my sister (she was watching my older son for us). If people show up at the hospital anyway, there's no law that you HAVE to let them come into your room. You can make them wait all night if you want. Would serve them right considering you told them you didn't want visitors. At the hospital where I delivered my boys, the L&D ward was locked. You had to stop at the guard desk and give them your name and who you're there to see. If your name isn't on the list of people expected, they'll call the room and ask if you want to see so and so. Just tell them no.

If your labor is spontaneous, don't tell people when you're going to the hospital...then they'll never know and they can't come.

Answer 6

No I do not think that you are a bad person.. The birth of a child is a very special moment and sharing it with your spouse is a wonderful experience.. If your family and friends cannot understand your wish to share this moment privately then that makes them bad people, not you.. It is perfectly acceptable for them to wait to see the baby until after the baby and mom are rested and comfortable. Congrats on your little one.. May you have all good things..

Answer 7

Sounds like a good decision to me. When I delivered my Husband and Mother were there with me( because it was my first baby I was a little unsure how my husband would handle the delivery) as soon as the baby was delievered the room filled up with about ten people and my baby needed a bath and I need a bathroom break. You never know how you will feel right after I know I was exhausted.

Answer 8

Why not have the baby at home.Just you and him. It was done that way for many, many years. No need for doctors and nurses and all those strangers...and think of the money you'll be saving your insurance company..Once you have cleaned up yourself and the baby, washed and ironed the sheets and picked up the house.. you can take digital pictures of your happy little family and email them to everyone else, you could enclude a sound bite of the babys first cry...that way they really won't miss anything... and you won't have to share the moment with anyone but your husban...then the three of you can go to MacDonalds for a BigMac and Fries....the baby will love the fries..

Answer 9

I think that you're making the right decision by not letting your whole family in the delivery room while you give birth. This is probably one of the biggest momments of your life and making it intimate by just allowing it to be you and your husband makes it all the more special. Your family and friends will understand when it's all over. Besides, they can't touch the baby until he/she is cleaned up anyway. Good Luck and Congradulations!!!

Answer 10

I felt the same way when I was pregnate with my twins, I told everyone the hospital had strict guidelines with regard to visitors and we would happily call them when the baby and myself was up for visitors. You can use the lactician excuse, works evertime. Even when that time came if it became overwhelming and there were too many people, have the nurses direct everyone to the waiting room. Make them the bad person, it helps, you only have a couple days to rest, take advantage, people will get over it.