hey all quick question i think im pregnate and and my boyfriend which is going threw a seperation from his soon to be ex-wife (6months now) doesnt want the child because he scared his ex is going to try and use it against him in the divorse. i dont belive in abortion and i dont want to raise the child on my own what should i do? not smart answers please!!!
2006-07-13 02:46:48 · 19 answers · asked by speakt124 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Have you thought about giving the child up for adoption?
2006-07-13 02:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't force you to have an abortion if you don't want one. If he's afraid his wife will use it agaist him in the divorce, he shouldn't have been sleeping with you while he was married. I'm sure you both knew that sex leads to pregnancy. If he doesn't want the baby because of something like that, and the fact the he already had an affair on his wife (with you), why would you want to be with someone like that? He's going to leave you eventually, so spare yourself the heartache now. If you don't want to raise the baby on your own, put it up for adoption. There are many loving couples would can't get pregnant on a whim and would love your baby as their own and give the baby more than you probably could right now.
2006-07-13 09:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by e_imommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to find out for sure if you are pregnant or not. If you're not, problem solved. If you are pregnant, is your relationship public? Does his soon to be ex know you two are dating? If not, then you can have the child, just do not claim him as the father until after the divorce. You can always have him "adopt" your child later on. If she does know that you two are together, still have the child. Even if it comes down to you having to raise the child on your own, you can put it up for adoption. There are a lot of people out there that would love to raise your child. My wife and I plan on adopting many children, so if you did that, your child might be mine one day, since fate is really interesting like that.
2006-07-13 09:54:42 · answer #3 · answered by Icy U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should it be your fault or the babies fault that he cheated on his wife. It seems the only two options that you have are to either raise the baby on your own, even though you don't want to, or give it up for adoption. But why should you live the rest of your life with the guilt of giving up your child just because he doesn't want his ex-wife to use it against him in the divorce? Why do you even have to tell his ex-wife?
2006-07-13 09:58:34 · answer #4 · answered by guineasomelove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could opt for adoption. But in all honesty, do you really want to be with a man who would rather simplify his life at the cost of his own flesh and blood, than step up to the plate and provde for that child what it needs, regardless of what the legal outcome of his first marriage would be?
Why should that child, who had no choice in being created, have to live less of, or no life at all, just because the man who created it doesnt want it?
I dont know just what his ex could use against him in court that would be a fair trade for the life of a child...
Thats just my personal opinion, but iam the kind of person who lives for the sake of children. Be they mine or someone elses.
If you're not pregnant, why not avoid it at all costs until the time is more optimal.
2006-07-13 09:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, his ex need know nothing about your pregnancy. You have no obligation to inform her that you are pregnant. Just avoid her for a while.
Whether you keep the baby or give it up for adoption is up to you. Think about how you will feel about the decision later, how the decision will affect your plans for the future, and what kind of life your baby will have with and without you. Adoption can be a great thing, but so can keeping your baby. Your boyfriend's opinion on the matter can be helpful, but the decision is really yours.
2006-07-13 09:51:32 · answer #6 · answered by kayleigh w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why should he be worried about the baby durning his divorce? That child has nothing to do with them... so it wouldnt affect anything. Good thing you dont believe in abortion, cause that is wrong. If you truly dont want to keep your baby, find a family that cannot have kids and give it up for adoption. Good Luck
2006-07-13 12:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Katie not telling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you dont have to tell his soon to be x wife anything. secondly, dont go threw with a abortion that you don't want to do. your boyfriend is not the one that is going to have lay on a table and have the abortion, you are. even though he is the father, when it comes to things like that i think its ultimately up to the mother because they are the one that has to go threw the actual procedure. it's easy for a guy to say get a abortion when they dont have to really do it themselves. everyone i know that has had an abortion, whether they thought they wanted to at first or was pressured by their boyfriend etc. to do it, has regreted going threw the procedure. so i say if you dont want to do it, dont. you will have to live with that decision for the rest of your life.
2006-07-13 10:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by Bossy19461999 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went throw the same thing my self. Keep the baby. If he is not divorced by know he will never be.He was probable just saying he was getting a divorce to get into your pants. The only way his wife can use the baby against him is if you stand up in a court of law and say the baby is his. Do what your heart wants.
2006-07-13 09:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by sweetheart_12074 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you want to keep your child do,, is there anyone in your family that can help you with this.. also there is also a program called wic.. woman, infants and children.. they help give you things to eat during your pregnancy and while the baby is an infant and until they are 5 years old i believe.. he sounds like to me he is just making excuses.. but one thing you should know or will know do not get involved with a married man...maybe you can work for awhile before you get to far into your pregnancy...if he does not want to take the responsibility then try to find a way to do it yourself.. i got pregnant at 17 and my dad was a minister.. but i went to live with other family members and i kept my child... i loved him so very much.. but they are a big responsibility....so you need to think about these things and figure out what you can do,,,,
2006-07-13 09:54:49 · answer #10 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to support you on the baby and the abortion issue is out of the question there is always adoption for your baby. You should check out your options with a family service agency in you community. Good luck and I hope you can make a decision that makes you happy.
2006-07-13 09:52:21 · answer #11 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋