My husband moved to start a new job and started seeing a women for 2 week before Ifound out. He said they just talked do I believe him? we have been marrried for 22 years and this has not happened before
2006-07-13 02:30:44 · 16 answers · asked by jill h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should believe him ONCE.
2006-07-13 02:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. My husband and I were together - and I thought happily married - for 23 years when he cheated. It sounds so similar to your situation. It was a woman at work who he claimed all their conversations were about the job etc. I fell for it for about 7 months till he finally admitted it had been a full-fledged ongoing affair. It had never happened before. I am sorry to tell you this - but you will probably never trust him again. We tried counseling - but both agreed it couldn't work. It took a long time to get over the hurt and severe depression. There was one thing my counselor said that made us realize it was truly over. She asked if I would ever feel like I was not a "jailer" - watching his every move and waiting for it to happen again. She also asked him if he would ever feel like he was not in "jail". We both had to answer no. Maybe you could work it out. I am just one of those people who cannot forgive cheating or lying.
Don't stick with him just because you have been together so long. You can start your life again. I did and am very happily married again to a wonderful man.
Good luck!
2006-07-13 02:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust was broken but ya'll have been married for 22 years and for that reason ya'll should try to get through this.. once trust is broken it is a very difficult to trust again.. but you both will have to work hard to get it back.. the fact that he cheated, whether it was emotionally or physical, it is the ultimate betrayal of a marriage it will take a lot of time and willingness from you to let go of what he did and not throw it in his face and him willing to answer your every question on where have you been, what have you been doing,etc.. you have that right remember he is the one that broke the trust in the marriage not you... Good Luck!!!
2006-07-13 02:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. In your situation I would be hard pressed to trust him again. If he's 'dated' another woman before, could he do it again? I would suggest finding out WHY he felt the need to 'just talk' to another woman. If there's something in your marriage that he felt was lacking (not saying there is, just saying he might see it that way) then find out what it was and try to work on it together. I suggest marital counciling to lubricate the marriage gears again. Twenty two years is a long time to be with someone and I congratulate you!
2006-07-13 02:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jill, marriage is a serious comittment. I know how you feel. Affairs usually startinthe work place, usually with a "friend" and confident that he can trust to tell what he's dissatisfied with at home. Please seek out some marriage advise from a therapist. Perhaps you need to play some good offensive moves soyou do not need to be onthe defense against other women. Good luck-
PS- ALWAYS trust you,your gut.
2006-07-13 02:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from me, gal.... Been married for 18 yrs and for the past 5 years, I have been blinding myself to all the lies he had been telling me coz I refused to believe that he would cheat on me. He was the only man in my entire pre and during married life that I looked upon and love with all my heart.
Over time, even after I gave the second chance after finding out his "dates", I could not but process his truths as just lies. I cannot see myself moving on without the constant doubt in my head whenever he is not in our matrimonial home. I had to leave him to have peace with myself and my kids. I have no trace of trust left for him.
2006-07-13 03:00:52 · answer #6 · answered by DiL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then maybe u should give him the benefit of the doudt. THIS time if it ever happens again then u need to end it. Becuase if hes FRIENDS with another woman like he waswith the last 1 without telling u hes cheating.
2006-07-13 02:34:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you lose that element of trust, you can never get it back. Maybe he's going through a mid life crisis or something. I don't know if I could stay in a relationship where I wasn't sure if I could trust my husband.
2006-07-13 03:07:48 · answer #8 · answered by lexicam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me precise now? "by no skill technically cheated?" HE DID!!! whilst he asked the different female out on a date. you have become performed huge time and the unhappy area approximately it somewhat is which you be conscious of you're.....do no longer whinge once you're 50 and divorce b/c he ran off with somebody else.
2016-12-10 06:02:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think from ur side that what would be the reason that ur hubby will tends towards other
2006-07-13 02:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Prashant Pathak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL MAYBE HE NEEDS TO TELL U SPECIFICALLY EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THOSE 2 WEEKS MAYBE THAT WILL HELP U OUT A LITTLE
2006-07-13 03:43:33 · answer #11 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋