My children's father allowed them to ride four wheeler should visitation continue?

Question

This would be the first time to let them stay two weeks they are eight .My son fell off a adult size four- wheeler that his two sisters and himself has been riding for two days. There is no way i would have allowed this.The step-mother (a child protection agent) and his aunt told him to lie when he got to the emrgency room and say he fell off a bike so that the aunt would not get ticketed i have cut all visitation at this point please give me some adivce.

Answer 1

Your ex made a bad decision and wasn't watching close enough. Men never do. Although I think this is a time to set him straight on rules and decisions (if in doubt, call you since you are the main guardian).

Anything you do against him now, will hurt the children and you. I am sure they were having a great time on that 4 wheeler and will think you are an old fuddy duddy. Handle it delicately.

Answer 2

Touchy subject, and I don't know all the details surrounding you. However, you are the mother and you do what you feel is right. Ask your son what he thinks, and honestly think hard about this. You really shouldn't alienate your son from his father if at all possible. Are there other regular occurrences of serious safety issues? Have you talked to the father and step mother in a non-accusing manner? How serious were the injuries for your son? I agree that he should not be riding an adult size four-wheeler alone (or with young siblings). Was he supervised? Things happen, and I'm sure your son has been injured while in your care at some point so keep that in mind. Try not to let your pain/dislike for the father, or the urge to keep your son to yourself, get in the way of a healthy father/son relationship. Again, if you feel that the safety of your son is seriously in trouble, then talk to the father, and if that fails, go to court. A court order will be your best bet in the end. Do you have one already? Because if he is granted visitation, you could be in trouble.

Answer 3

It depends. I think if an adult is supervising the kids and they aren't 4-wheeling the way an adult would, it's not a big deal. Kids are going to get hurt now and then. Sounds like fun to me. When we were small, we took turns on minibikes, etc. I was hurt worse by skateboarding and landing on my head. Wow, maybe they should have called children's services on my mom. Kids like to have fun. If the step mother is a chld protection agent, I'm sure she would not have PUT the kids in danger. I would hope not. I've seen young kids on 4-wheelers being supervised by adults. It wasn't any more dangerous than that damn skateboard. I think you are trying to use the kids against your ex. I am a female - I've been divorced with a child involved - and have experience. But NEVER did I deny visitation. If I had any issues, we DISCUSSED THEM AS MATURE ADULTS (you ARE an adult aren't you?).

Answer 4

He is the boys FATHER- you had enough trust to get pregnant by him, let him be a dad. Although I think the step-mom was totally wrong and should be reported, it is important to let the boys have a relationship with their farther. If you keep them from him they WILL hate you later. Since you are the mother you should be able to get copies of the medical chart at the emergency room. See what it says, talk to your boys-get their version and if the step-mom is lying, turn her in to her supervisor. But don't punish your boys for bad judgment by their dads. Ask that they not be allowed to ride the bikes until they are older-a little open communication and give and take will go along way. If it happens again-consult a lawyer. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I find that not a problem at all...this is what happens when such ventures must be kept hush hush...if they weren't perhaps they all would have had their own protective gear and would have been prepared for the fall..A four wheeler is a bit much for an 8 year old but not out of the question if taking it easy, no full off-roading, just the basics to learn the gears around the property would be understandable.

Answer 6

Just because your son fell of of a 4-wheeler, doesn't mean the the father was putting him into danger or harm on purpose, he just fell off. Boys will be boys. My cousin who is 10 has motorcycle that goes up to 70mph, you have to let a boy be rough. You shouldn't cut off visitation, that's not fair the father needs to see his children. Just tell the father to ride it with him next time, pay close attention, and be more careful.

Answer 7

First of all, them being allowed to ride a four-wheeler is not a reason to stop them from seing their father. However, something needs to be said to the stepmother for having your children lie. She had no right, and it's wrong anyway. You need to put your foot down there. But you can't stop them from seeing their father. All of us as mothers know that the father lets the child do more stuff that we won't. That's because we worry. And if we're honest with ourselves, we know we worry way too much. Kids are going to get hurt. It's part of growing up. And it helps them learn, too. So as I deal with this myself with my husband and children, I am going to tell you you need to loosen up a little and not worry so much. Their father loves them and won't intentionally hurt them. They sure don't need to be taught to lie, though. Especially just to keep her from getting in some kind of trouble. She needs a wake up call. I know it's hard, but you have got to remember that this man is the father of your children, whether you love him or not. You chose him in the beginning. Now everyone has to live with that. And children need their father. Don't take that away from them. And try to trust him to keep them safe. Them getting hurt is going to happen. There is nothing you can do about that, without causing major problems, including mental ones. Leave them alone. You don't have to let them do stuff, but don't worry about what they do with their father. You need to try to enjoy the time you have alone when they're at their father's house.

Answer 8

If you don't want to hear the truth, don't read this. Kids get hurt. You can't protect them from everything. Also keeping them separated from their father will damage them more emotionally than a broken bone. You can't make up lost time. In the long run they may come to hate you for keeping them from their father. I'm not telling you what you want to hear and won't get best answerer but I am telling you the truth.

Answer 9

The only way to do that is through the courts and I wouoldnt get my hopes up on this one the courts usually decide that the best interest of the child is to have visitation with the non custodial parent.

Answer 10

If he as as safe as my husband it would not be a problem, but since he is not I would ask a judge what his opinion is. for a judge would looke at the childs safty and not side with one or the other parent because of friendships(even though i am in yuor corner on this one nail his wee wee to the wall)