how do you confirm a man is gay without asking him?

Question

a large group of friends have this friend...we are pretty sure he is gay...but dont want to ask...any suggestions

Answer 1

I used to pretend to be gay to be able to hang out with all the hot chicks....they love gay men...LOL

I'd guess and say that if you caught him with his d*ck in another guy's @sshole...then he's gay. Or...If you caught him with another guy's d*ck in his @sshole...then he's gay.

Better yet....ask him about fashion. Straight guys don't know sh*t about fashion. Tell him something that you KNOW is wrong. Like maybe show him a picture of LAST year's Prada handbag and tell him that this is the Louis Vuitton handbag you'll be getting for your birthday NEXT year. If he doesn't blink...he's straight. If he has a confused look in his eye, coughs, or says, "WHAT????", then you know he's gay!

Answer 2

I'm no exspert but my brother was gay at 13 and my son is gay at 14,In my opinion its born in you and two things i've noticed after a fair amount of exsposure,crossing of a leg in the sitting position as apposed to legs hanging open like a man doesand the voice.I hope this helps,If not just ask its not at all like the old days

Answer 3

I got this friend who was gay. The way I knew he was gay without he told me was checking his attitude with women. By instance once I was with my group of friends, 4 guys and me. They saw a girl walking on street and they looked at her like wolves but the gay guy did not have a reaction...and if he had a reaction it was pretty how could I tell it? Like a perfomance of an actor.
The thing is check his attitude with opposite gender.

Answer 4

If he rarely talks about girls...and kinda has feminine ways...then you can kind of tell. Does he hang around other guys? If he hangs around girls too much, I'd probably wonder too. Just ask him if he's into girls. That's what I'd do. Ask him if he has a girlfriend that he's dating...ever kissed a girl, ever WANTS to...if he hasn't. I don't think it's rude, I just think you're curious, and mankind is corrupt as it is, so don't feel like you're a bad person for wondering. If someone's gay, sometimes they'll let you know on their own. But, you could bring up the subject on how you feel about homosexuals (hopefully you're positive about them) and that could bring him to tell you--that is, if he really is.

Answer 5

By definition, you can't "confirm" anything without asking. If he's out, and willing to tell you, you could ask if he has a girlfriend. If he says no, ask if he has a boyfriend, making sure that your tone implies that it's not big deal if he does. Many people who would tell you will not unless you ask.

If he's not out, it doesn't matter. He'll tell you when he's ready.


The more important question is: why do you need to know?

Answer 6

ask his boyfriend...LOL

Really, if you really think so, he probably is. i Had a friend in my group through high school whom we all believed was gay, in this past year he came out...

Any way, does it really matter if he is gay anyway? Will that effect your opinion of him? Is this group of friends going to stop being his Friend if he is? Maybe somethings are better left unknown. If he wants you to know his sexual preference, you wouldn't be asking this question.

Answer 7

One, it isn't really your business. Two, If you really need to know find another gay man and ask him. Their gay-ar is usually amazing.

Lastly your friend might be confused. I have known people who appeared gay, everyone thought they were gay for years...except for the subject person denied it. Years go by, guess what, this person "discovers" he's gay.

By the way what is a "Twatwaffle"?

Answer 8

If you and your friends truly are this man's friend, I can understand why you would like for HIM to confirm that he is gay. Probably you want him to feel at ease with himself and to get on with his life and stop wasting his time living in dread, fear, or loneliness. I was the gay guy in this situation for many years; a female friend of mine tried and tried to get me to acknowledge what she could see, and it was true.

Trouble was, I wanted to be out but was cowardly, and the more my friend pushed, the more I resisted. She got nowhere in leading me out of the closet, and I would have been angry with her, except I knew I was right. I did not come out until I was sick of lying about who/what I am and until I felt safe. My friend did not make me feel safe at all, in spite of all of her efforts. Instead, she made me feel exposed and more vulnerable. In saying this I am not blaming her for anything at all. Rather, I am trying to suggest that your efforts with your friend are likely to leave you utterly frustrated. He will come out when he feels independent enough to do so -- and if that day never comes, you cannot force it to!

Answer 9

Ask him - because if you assume you make an *** out of u and me and its just not fair to assume anything. Does it really matter and if so, why? Are you wanting to know because of your own fears? This is a delicate situation. I think if you all must know than the one that is closest to him should ask him honestly. No need to make him feel like a caged monkey with all of you around waiting.

But if you must --- go here - its pretty funny

http://www.dearreid.com/archive/021201.html

Answer 10

Tough question. By law, an EMT can't even ask someone if they have AIDS, even if they're bleeding like a stuck pig.

Aside from that, if this guy is your friend, why is it important to know? If he were comfortable knowing that it didn't matter to you and you would not treat him differently, he'd tell you.