I love my boyfriend but he is contantly putting me down, pointing out my faults, getting at my to lose weight & do more exercise. Without sounding big headed I'm a petite size 8, tanned, I straighten my hair everyday etc...
I don't think he'll ever be happy with how I look, even if I was a supermodel. Last night he said, "you have really let yourself go lately" and I just cried because in my eyes I can't look any better unless I have cosmetic surgery.
Is love enough to make my relationship work because I don't know if there is anything else which is keeping us together. My male firends say it sounds like he is bored. What do you think?
2006-07-12 23:54:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, it can work with just love but ONLY if there is love on both sides. I am sorry but your boyfriend does not love you otherwise he would accept you whatever you looked like. He is knocking your confidence & self esteem and the reason he does this is because by putting you down he boosts his own ego up - he feels inadequate. He will not change. I went through this experience with my ex husband and he all but destroyed me. I managed to pick myself up, get out of the marriage and re-build my confidence. You can do the same. Please leave this man as he will never change. I put up with it for nearly 15 years in the hope that it would - it doesn't. You deserve so much more, please don't waste any more of your valuable life on this man. Good luck !
2006-07-13 00:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with this guy? He may be your boyfriend, but he sure does not respect you as a person.
The following passage sums up what I believe love should be
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies
Yes I believe this form of love will make a relationship work. Not everyone is able to achieve it and most do not. But it is not in achieving it but in the trying that counts.
2006-07-13 07:06:59 · answer #2 · answered by hungryveryhungry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not enough for your relationship with this guy. A whole brain transplant is necessary { for him of course!}. Its really bad that he is this way. It sounds like he is really giving your self esteem a bash. Does not sound like he's bored it sounds like he is just a down right mean.
I don't think there is anything you can do in addition to who you are already that would satisfy this guy. Really you should never do anything to yourself to try satisfy someone else. You may love the guy but he is definitely not giving you the same in return. All the best gal.
2006-07-13 07:45:25 · answer #3 · answered by Storm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the same back , say well you look like a horses *** and i stay with you so put up with it of feck off . Hes just a **** . I bet your fine ( dont get any ideas ) and look awsome so belive me .If you look great their will be loads of guys you can choose who will be better than him , your staying with him because he somehow creates attraction despite being a idiot ......right howether you have to use your head i know all woman go on emotion its the way your wired etc howether ignore him and the feeling will go in thorey i mean do you really want him even thougth he does that . You look like u do so if he doesent like it then the relationship is not going to work he will cheat because guys go off mainly physical apperance so your choice but i hope ive helped .
2006-07-13 07:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by badass-mofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are a lovely person. From what you say, love is not enough to make your relationship work because your boyfriend is already making you unhappy, even though you obviously love him. If you look at what you have put above, I think you will find that you have answered your question yourself. Whatever you decide to do I hope you find happiness
2006-07-13 07:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by Paul B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, my heart goes out to you. I have been in a relationship like that and left... and returned to it. Love is fundamental to a relationship but it also needs respect and trust. I left for all of the above reasons... the smartass comments about my weight, running me around the park like a greyhound, the ignoring me when i spoke or just little things that were odd and made me feel very very bad about myself. So I got away and lived away from him for three years. Now this is what happened for me... it might be totally the wrong advice for you, but as somone who went through it i am just going to tell you what happened in my case and make your own judgement.
When i left i missed the GOOD things alot. And I found out that even though i was very laid back with my friends, everything that my partner said to me, i took incredibly badly. It hurt and I never forgot it. It stained my brain! After a very hard look at my life and past i discovered that i had a really low opinion of MYSELF. And my partner saying something just confirmed my worst nightmare. You know in your heart when you are happy with yuorself and its good enough for you. When that time comes say it to him and if it carries on he needs to deal with his stuff and insecruties. I needed to change the way i looked at myself. I dont know if this is the best advice i have ever given in my life... I just know that since i have changed the way i look at myself, I dont take all the silly teasy comments so sensitively and we are very happy now. Good Luck sweetie xxx Oh and ps we now both run around the park and ignore eachother xx
2006-07-13 07:55:48 · answer #6 · answered by madgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship very similar to yours and in the end i ended up hating him so my advice to you would be before the abuse gets to much i would end the relationship you should be with someone that loves you for the way you are and not try and change you. I ended the relationship the the guy i was with even tho i still loved him but now im with somebody else iv never been happy
2006-07-13 07:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not.Is it LOVE that makes him put you down all the time or does he just want to control you?He should be caring for you, supporting you,loving you both physically and emotionally.It may sound harsh but if he can't change leave him and you will find someone better.All the best in your life.
2006-07-13 07:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by grandad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfrined is trying to control you by stealing your confidence, this is to make you easier to manipulate. When someone loves you you will feel more confident, more free. You are making yourself into a possesion rather than a partner. If you don't value yourself above everyone elses opinions of you then what is your own message to yourself. At the moment you are creating your own rejection by accepting this. Be free, be yourself, be alive, drop the guy.....
2006-07-13 07:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by bluewisdom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you also need respect for eachother and friendship. Just beacuse you love someone dosen't mean it will work out. He sounds like he is bored or he is just nasty. You sound like a nice girl who can do alot better than someone who is going to put you down and make you feel this low!
2006-07-13 10:00:58 · answer #10 · answered by I~Love~Baileys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋