My fiance decided months ago to cut all ties with his father. There is too much to go into but his father has not been nice at all. It was my fiance's birthday a week ago and his father sent a card - he returned it unopened to his father! He is really hurting - I think he is secretly looking for a reaction - what do you think? It is such a sorry affair
2006-07-12 23:20:56 · 22 answers · asked by Sasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unforgiveness can hold us in bondage and turn us into very bitter people. Your fiance should try to forgive his father, in his heart, for whatever he has done. This does not mean he has to like him or spend time with him, but just means that he can let go and move on, without this one person having a hold over him for the rest of his life.
2006-07-12 23:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by good tree 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
You fiance has a broken relationship with his family, particularly his father.
He had done this at a point in time (a few months ago) did some event take place? Did he get some new information? To return the father's gift unopened is strong reaction.
Your first thought is that he is looking for a reaction. Has he offered an explanation or reason? Have you asked him why? Maybe he is looking for a chance to say why, to let it out?
You think he is looking for a reaction, has he acted in this way before?
It must be hurtful and painful for your fiance to have and hold this emotion and feeling.
At the minimum he needs to talk. If there is some real even and hurt he needs to talk with his father and to forgive if necessary. Harbouring such strong negative feelings can lead to depression and other problems. In time it will effect your relationship with him to.
Its good for everyone to have a deep and genuine reconciliation. If you believe in God pray, he is the expert at undertanding reconciliation.
Hope this helps...
Peter
2006-07-13 06:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by Peter H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a really sad state of affairs but the fact his father sent the card should give you hope.He plainly wants some form of contact with his son.In this situation someone has to give to enable the bond to be repaired.Suggest leaving it for now and maybe later on you could phone his father and let him know how this is affecting his son.As they say blood will out.
2006-07-13 07:15:12 · answer #3 · answered by grandad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My uncle stopped talking to his father, my grandfather the day after his 18th birthday. 25 years passed and my uncle had a family of his own, a life of his own and he had yet to speak to his dad. When my grandfather died on October 12, 2004, my uncle cried. Not only because his father was gone, but because he hadn't been in his life. He never knew his grandkids or any of that kind of stuff. Its tragic that things like this happen but you cannot tell your fiance to talk to his father. It has to come back to him. He has to decide. However, you can try to persuade him. That might help. Good luck!
2006-07-13 06:27:54 · answer #4 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what his father has done, if his father has been so out of order that it is unforgivable then no this isn't bad.
And his father can't expect forgiveness without him showing some kind of remorse.
This situation may sort itself out, but if it doesn't you just have to be there for him.
If his mother is still around talk to her and see what she thinks, but it si best not to go against him. Let him talk to you about it then see where it goes from there.
2006-07-13 06:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by JennyPenny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must have his reasons. As a fellow male I can respect that without having to know any details. Your man has made a decision and he seems to be sticking to it, this is a positive sign for you in that he does what he says he's going to do. As far as the reaction goes, well I don't think he's looking for one, he's taking charge and creating one. Reminds me of me, your a lucky girl if this is so! Take care and best of luck for your future marriage!
2006-07-13 06:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother stoped talking to our father, and also did things to get his attention. Its unfortunately up to u to listen to your fiance and read between the lines. U cud save their relationship, it took me 2years-they still working through their differences but have a bond.
2006-07-13 06:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he is probably looking for a reaction maybe he just want attention from his father. it is quite bad he doesnt speak to his dad, he should be greatful he has a dad, he sent him a card he should ope it and say thankyou.
2006-07-13 06:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by jame_football 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad!! There's truth to an old saying that children can disown their parents but parents can never disown their children.!Whatever terrible things his father did for him to feel that way,only time will heal his wounds.I hope he can forgive his father in due time. For now, respect his feelinds.GOD bless you all.
2006-07-13 07:09:09 · answer #9 · answered by cellm8te 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am unfortunate that I do not have either of my parents still alive and when they are gone you miss them wheher you have had good or bad times with them. I only hope that your fiance can resolve his differences with his father. Good luck.
2006-07-13 06:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by iloveliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋