My soon to be ex-wife of 6yrs has neglected me. For info. we have 2 beautiful young kids and i love them very much. i am handling almost everything on the housing and family finance and she is a working executive. Things that she has failed to deliver as a wife: 1. she refuse or reluctant to get intimate with me..sex is only once a mth that if i'm lucky. 2. i forced myself to take muscle relaxant pills to ease my desire.3. she ignores me when i'm sick. 4. she prefers to read her books than to be close to me in bed. i tried to explain my needs and unhappiness indirectly to her so as not to hurt her feelings..but she just didnt get it.
And when recently i confided my depressing feeling to another woman and when my ex found out about my new relationship with the new woman, she starts to throw blames at me for being unfair and ...is that fair?
2006-07-12 21:22:56 · 9 answers · asked by aimesms 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All the years of marriage now has gone..i still cant get over it. I miss my kids so very much. i cant work well and becoming very defensive of everything. I feel like blaming her but i know i am partly to be blamed. i have given her lots of attention i believe..picked her up from work and send her in the morning for the past years, doing household chores, markettings, nursing my kids and her when they are sick, went holidays...and this is the results that i got.
Its hard for me to move on..and to trust another woman (if she wants to be my wife). I phobic of marriage life...sigh. Why is life so difficult.?
2006-07-13 14:43:15 · update #1
No, its not fair. Can I mention something from my own experience? I treated my ex-husband the same way, when my feeling for him faded. Everything you mentioned I did. Looking back, I realie I didnt love him like I should have from day one, and although during the relationship I only saw his faults, I look back now and see how unfair I was. So, she may not see her own faults now, she may over look them completley, take it from someone who knows, it is definitley unfair. and I hope one day she can apologies for it. I have, to my ex, and although we will never be back together, at least the relationship with my kids and him and I is better.
2006-07-12 21:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely she has a part in the relationship because she played the other half of it. if she were to look at herself, she would take responsibility for her part. what is your part in the failure of the marriage?
if you are still with your wife, it is not appropriate to get involved in a new relationship. if it is just a technicality of signing the divorce papers but you have established an end to the relationship already, then it would be fine to move on with your life.
2006-07-12 21:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by gurrrly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe both parties are guilty. They need to sit down and try to solve their issues, if they can't, they need to split in a friendly manner and wish each other happiness. But I still feel sorry for the children who pay the biggest price of all, loosing a parent.
2006-07-12 21:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by Alaeddine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to tango.
But blaming her as you do here and confiding in another woman definitely does NOT help. You wanna fix it, start doing the irritational and let go of the ego.
2006-07-12 21:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no intimacy is an actual cause of divorce.
there's a legal term for being distant sexually from your partner and alot of people get divorced for that reason.
you should chill with the other woman until after the divorce or there could be alot of bad things blamed on you.
2006-07-12 21:50:46 · answer #5 · answered by tami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,i guess i if shes at fault then u too are cos you found it comfortable to discuss your personal matter with another woman n not with your wife?y did'nt u say it all to your wife directly,instead of doing it indirectky n running around the bushes?
remember one thing,no woman,no matter how much ever problems in a relationship,will like her husband going and discussing things with other woman....
about u both having problems highlighted in your message,you should speak with your wife n not judge her without knowing her side of the story.........
2006-07-12 21:35:14 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u have not done wrong but instead of doing this hiding from ur wife u should clearly talk to her that either she change herself or u'll leave her n make new relationship coz u also have right to live happily.
2006-07-12 21:52:55 · answer #7 · answered by archi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guessed you has right to find happiness the way u like.
2006-07-12 21:27:19 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no not fair, you need a new way and your kids will be better with you .
2006-07-12 21:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by medo s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋