I am a lesbian, in Southern Illinois and I am looking to get pregnant...?

Question

I am a young lesbian, looking to get pregnant. My partner and I have been together 4 years, and we are ready for children, we own our own home, and are financially stable. Adoption is not fesable(expensive and hard to do), and AI is expensive and hard to. We had a male friend we had used about 4 times, all with no avail. (Possibly him, possibly me) But he has moved to AZ. Does anyone have any Ideas or suggestions. Or even resources.

I dont want your nagative comments, thank-you very much, and also my male friend moved, so I CANT use him again

I have a contract for a guy to sign, listing very clearly, that he will have NOTHING to do with the child, amongst other things, clearing him of any responsibility.

Answer 1

to Eugene- shut up.

To my sisters ,Just be careful that you have the guys checked out very carefully - not just healthwise, but mentally. You will probably be asking him for no further contact with the baby, some may say yes now, then change their minds later. You mentioned that adoption is expensive. You might want to look into it again. I heard that IL is trying to make it easier. I can't think of the name of the org right now, but check out OAK PARK, IL.. Lots of gay couples and they have adopted. Check out OPAGLA (Oak Park area gay lesbian assn) and adoption centers in the village. If you write to me, I'll get you more info. Reme

Answer 2

Look into different companies. When I have checked stuff out it wasn;t all THAT expensive. The most expensive part is the sperm, ironically enough (like it's something that hard to come by?!?!?) So maybe if you know someone they can donate for free and then you onyl have fees of the insemination.

Taking out ads in the paper and doing interviews are a possibility if you are willing to. Just keep exploring your options and ignore the fools who have yet to get a clue on what REALLY messes kids up. They are naive and still learning the truth about life.

The best of luck to you and your partner and congrats on finding that special someone and making it work!!!

Answer 3

I am on eugeun 272000 side here. I don't think this is right. Women were meant to have babies with men not with each other. You are going against nature, God and and the way things are meant to be. I don't think it is right to bring children up in a same sex household. They need both parents, ONE MOM and ONE DAD. Look at the world today. So many single parents with screwed up kids. We are going to he!! in a handbasket because of all the children not having proper parenting. There are some things that only a father can teach and other that only a mother can teach. I do not think that this is a good idea.

Sorry, but this is just my opinion. While I do admire you for you 4 year commitment to your partner, It takes a lot to make a homosexual relationship last, but kids is a whole nother story.

Answer 4

I have heard of gay women getting a donor (paying for the donation like a sperm bank would) and using a turkey baster to inseminate themselves, and it worked. I can't remember how they got donors, but it was a long time ago before HIV/AIDS and all the STDs. Maybe you could pay for the donor(s) to be tested for those things, pay them for the donation, then have them sign the legal forms. Might work, and would be cheaper than AI. I personally believe in zero population growth, so maybe you should evaluate your unique situation to see if you really need to bring a child into the world who will never know its father. I think that is a somewhat important aspect to all of this, as I never knew my father at all, (through divorce, not AI!) It is a large blank space in a person's life to have no father, and very hurtful for a child.

Answer 5

Check your health insurance plan. Some insurances will cover pretty much everything, minus plenty of deductibles. Our health insurance plan will cover it, in various ways at that. I know what you mean about its your time, once you feel that it is time they say you only have something like 10 years until its too late. But, you can check your health insurance plan first, and if you do not have health insurance, then you can not do this until you do have health insurance and if you just get it, read the fine print, some insurance companies will not cover pregnacy until after 6 months of policy initation, if that part is not covered you can expect up to $5,000 each try, you can buy a fertility monitor from the drug store, it tells you what days are best. then you have all your dr. visits and once the baby is born you will need to take it to the dr. once a week, then once a month, etc. so you totally need a good health insurance plan period.

Answer 6

Maybe you could have interviews. I know it sounds a little strange, but it could work. You could put in add in the paper that you're looking for someone, then interview different men. There are lots of things you'd need to find out, such as his family's medical history, and if he has any diseases or disorders that you should be worried about. You should both go get checked out at a clinic for STDs. Also, if you're worried about looks, you could pick and choose from the group. You would probably need to offer a little money, but it would most likely be less than artificial insemination.

Answer 7

First of all good luck! How exciting! It takes most couples more than four times to get pregnant, so maybe just keep trying with your male friend. Track your fertility dates on fertility.com that might help to see when your fertile. Have you thought about IVF? A little expensive but might be worth it. Your friend can donate the sperm and you have a good shot of getting pregnant. Also, it might not hurt to get checked out by a doctor and have your male friend get checked out as well. Good luck and happy pregnancy!

Answer 8

The most important thing is to be very clear about whoever you choose's role in your and your child's life, and to get every last thing in writing!!! This kind of thing can really boomerang on you, and the man involved may really want to be a father. Since you can take your time, please do it--if you don't now, you will be later.

Perhaps you could take out an ad in an LGBT newspaper and get a gay man to do it?

Answer 9

I think is actually very funny ,sad and stupid because you have to admit that God created the man and the woman with a reason.
And just another thought:
Would you rather have your children having the same wrong perception of the sexuality or would you rather have them normal?Remember that is very traumatizing for children to grow up with two same sex parents,statistic speaking.
THINK

Answer 10

As a AAA Doctor of Medicine I may be able to help. Send me a picture in jpeg format and perhaps I can be a surrogate father.