2006-07-12 20:44:27 · 12 answers · asked by wonderwoman 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Set aside some time with him. It will take a while so be sure to tell him there is something you need to share with him (let him know its not an affair so he doesnt worry all day).
Preface the conversation with "I trust you so much... I feel safe with you and need to share something very painful about my past." Then let it all out. You will feel very drained emotionally but this will make the bond between you and your husband stronger.
I didnt have to "tell" my hubby. He saw my bruises and blood whelts before we got married when I wore shorts. I didnt go into a lot of details before we were married but afterwards I went into details and it was and still is (its a process as you will find..those emotions boil up at the strangest times) helpful to "get it out". And I have been married 20 + years.
Know that somewhere out here in the internet..someone is rooting you on. Me! I
know how difficult this can be!
Best wishes!
2006-07-13 05:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by AccountableLady 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know I went through something like that before. You just gotta tell him and you are gonna fall apart because it is a very difficult thing to talk about and remember and all. I'm sure he'll be there to comfort you, that's what husband's are for. Just talk to him and tell him. It's a hard thing but that's why you have him by your side so you can talk to him and tell him everything. He's your shoulder that you should cry on. Cry and let it all out and I'm sure he'll be there for you. And I'm sorry for what happened to you.
2006-07-13 03:50:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa&Michael U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its your husband and he loves you , why are you worried about falling apart? This in an emotion issue!!! Here i'll give you an easy way to handle this...Write everything down, everything, how you feel, how it made you feel. You could tape it, but sometimes when we are in the heat of the moment we forget things, writing it down is best and heck it gets it out of your head.
Give it to hubby, let him have time to soak it in and tell him you would like to talk to him about what you wrote, but give him plenty of time to soak it in first. Now he may not be ready depending on what you write to talk right away, be understanding, your his wife and you have been hurt by this, this will effect him. Good Luck
2006-07-13 03:55:03 · answer #3 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be open to each other because now you are one flesh so you understand your husband more so you find a way to tell him and its depend with kind of child abuse?please just hold your self up and face anything that comes your way.if your husband really loves you he will be an understand man and he will help you to go through it and stood by you at anytime of your life together.all the best
2006-07-13 03:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by mima t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you and he will understand, unfortunatly things like that happen in life and trust me it can make people stronger. Dont worry about it, just find the right time and tell him otherwise its goign to eat you up inside. There is nothing wrong with crying infront of your hubby. Good Luck
2006-07-13 04:18:21 · answer #5 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are foo-list person on this earth , if you can not keep this small bad memory out from your mind , the minute you open mouth in-front of your husband you have to start living a very very bad miserable , balance years of your life.
2006-07-13 03:52:43 · answer #6 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED THERE ARE CERTAIN BEHAVIORS THAT YOU MUST HAVE INEVITABLY EXHIBITED. HE NO DOUBT HAS NOTICED THEM AND VERY LIKELY COMMENTED ON THEM.
SO, THE CONVERSATION SOUNDS LIKE THIS: " HONEY I KNOW I DO THINGS THAT YOU REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT THERE IS A GOOD REASON" AND THEN JUST TELL HIM.
HOPEFULLY HE WILL BE LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING AND BECOME AN ALLY.
REGARDLESS OF HOW THAT TURNS OUT , YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHILDREN ARE NEVER , EVER RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BEHAVIOR OF THOSE WHO ABUSE THEM.
I HOPE IT WORKS OUT
2006-07-13 04:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter. It's always easier to write the bad stuff than say it -- It also gives you time to really get out what you want to say in it's entirety (before you fall apart!)
2006-07-13 04:09:33 · answer #8 · answered by myANSWERS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are you probably won't, but if you have gotten over it and have dealt with it and can live with it today maybe you should just not even tell him, sometimes it can be ammunition in a fight to hurt you.
2006-07-13 03:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by bbt843 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest and sincere, this should have been discussed during marriage counciling by your clergy, best is to suggest couples counciling then bring it up, if he truly loves you ,he will understand.all secrets will come out if you stay together long so spill it all .
2006-07-13 03:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋