What do you do if you feel that your boyfriend you have devoted your whole life too is maybe cheating???

Question

I've been with my boyfriend now for nearly 2 years and we have been the best couple going but recently he has been very shady over his phone and keeps hiding it and wont leave it lying around. He got a text message last night at 1'o'clock in the morning and said it was his boss then he said do you want to see and i said yes then he said oh i deleted it now. What boss would text that time in the morning. I just need some advice of what to do or how to approach the situation!

Answer 1

It sounds very dodgy, i would be the same as you. ask him straight out if he is cheating on you. you cant go on like this, it will tear you apart either way.

Answer 2

Tell him he's been mighty possessive of his phone lately and his other behavior's been a bit too secretive for you. Then ask him what's going on. After you ask him, say nothing more.

How did he react? Did he look concerned or did he make a big play of showing you how absolutely innocent he is? If someone's not up to anything, their level of calm concern and the look on their eyes/in their face will tell you what you need to know.

Also, did his body language become relaxed but interested-such as sitting up and looking you squarely in the eye or taking your hand? Or did he pull away, cross his arms or legs or even wave his arms around? The calm/reassuring body language is what you're looking for here.

Asking straight out is the best way to go here. Otherwise, if you try to snoop or follow him around to find an answer, you may be investing alot of time and energy into something only to find out what you could have found out just by asking. Even if he lies, you'll know what to look for and you'll know the answer.

What you do with it is up to you.

Also, if he refuses to answer it's not good. This ploy is always tried by those with something to hide but aren't quick enough on their feet to think up a satisfying enough whopper for the listener.

Then once you have his given answer, make your decision and say what you think. If he's not cheating but maybe doing something else you may not be too thrilled about, talk about it.

If he either admits that or you can see it's obvious he's cheating, leave and don't look back. Unless you want to deal with it the rest of your life.



Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Let me explain something about women to you. Women are predominately right brained which means they are intuitive. Nine times out of ten, when a woman suspects her man of cheating,he is guilty.
Now look at it through a man's eyes. Text msg from his employer at 1' AM. Yeah, right!!!
Wake up and smell the roses.
I presume you are very young, "2 yrs is all my life" Heck, two years ago i was in the place as I am now doing the same things I am now. But then I'm so old I helped GOD invent dirt. Go find a boyfriend who is not a player.

Answer 4

You say you have been with your b/f for nearly two years and you call that a 'whole life' Come on, my dear!! where are you?

First of all, what do you mean by being with my b/f? Are you in a live-in relationship with him? Or are you just seeing him since 2 years. Whatever it is, if you are not married to him, then you cannot impose your ideas on him. If you are married, then he is obligated to you to be honest and not cheat you. But if you are not, then your b/f is under no obligation to you to be honest. It entirely depends upon his character whether he is faithful to you or not.

As for your next course of action, you be true and loving to him, as always. Perhaps he might be bowled over by your faithfulness, if he is cheating, and stop it. On the other hand, if he is not cheating and its all your own hyper imagination, you will be all the more happy if he starts giving you more attention than to his late night SMSs.

Answer 5

I was living with a girl once...and began to get phone calls, and when I would answer the phone....the caller would immediately hang up without speaking. This happened dozens of times, over several weeks, and I had my nerves twisted into knots over it. I was getting more and more paranoid, jealous, and worried.
One day...in tears...she asks me if I've been seeing someone else. Why does she think that? Because she has been getting numerous calls, and the caller hangs up as soon as she answers....and it had gone on for weeks and she thought I was cheating on her.
Both of us had been torturing ourselves for weeks over nothing. Maybe our phone number closely resembled that of an area business, or maybe it was someone calling us by accident repeatedly for reasons that remain unknown.

My point is it doesn't sound like you have a lot to go on at the moment. A secretive phone call, or a text message at an odd time doesn't neccessarily mean it's proof someone is cheating. This sounds like a very large conclusion to immediately leap to.

Sometimes when people are a couple, they tend to loose track of the fact that a letter to their spouse, is a letter to their spouse, not to them. They sometimes forget that their bf/gf cell phone, is the bf/gf cell phone....not BOTH of their cell phone.

Maybe after nearly two years your boyfriend feels that he's losing his individual space, and his individual personality. Though he is your boyfreind, he is still an individual, and maybe he wants to keep some of his privacy.

Answer 6

It does sound a bit fishy,i think you should just ask him straight out,you may not get the answer you were hoping for but at least you will be able to try and sort things out if thats what you want,try not start a big argument but just sit and talk calmly although deep down you`ll want to hit him.If he denies anythings been going on then thats upto you if you want to believe him or not,you know him better than anybody.goodluck,xx

Answer 7

You deserve better hell everybody deserves the best from life and you know how short life can be,,,,,,,its hard because you obviously love him
but wouldnt you rather just know now rather than drag it out
ask him if he is happy with you?...in the relationship....
try to better the situation before you accuse him of cheating
girls usually just know and its a very evil bloke that convinces the girl its simply in her head and shes just being paranoid
the best thing you can do is to have your own friends your own
interests and not be so available to him
men want what they cant have dont be soo there if you know what i mean do this and i promise he'l be going nowhere and will be intrigued as to where your independence has suddenly come from.......as it seems to me he just taking you for granted missus .....dont stand for it

Answer 8

well the obvious thing girl is-he is hiding-something.
and u never have had secrets between urselves...
so this is hard.
being so involved eating,drinking ,sleeping ,dreaming bout this guy, i believe u gotta check on ur own health and well being now.
he has stepped outta line-not u, so u dont go off crying or feeling guilty...
yes u must get him to stay away from u,hard as it is-and not ever let him know that u miss him.
live ur life even better than before-work,and make a name for urself, and in time u will find a faithful man...they do exist!it's just hard work...even to see who they are in the multitude of fakers...awrt?
u have let him continue playing for a while..do something to corner him-it is his mistake!

Answer 9

First of all you have not devoted your life to him. You are dating for only two years. It's obvious he has something going on on the side and it's time for you to leave with your pride. Tell him you're cheating for sh!ts and giggles. At least you can leave being the dumpee not the dumper and with some false revenge.
But the reality is staring you in the face. Why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't want to be exclusively with them? Move on kiddo. You're worth more than that.

Answer 10

sounds VERY shady hun - you're in a relationship and you're quite entitled to be given a straight answer - tell him straight out if he has nothing to hide then he wont object to you looking at his phone. If he DOES object - then you have a problem! If he plays the you need to respect my privacy card then hes defo up to something. Put yourself on an even keel though - tell him he can look through your phone at any stge.
If he doesnt co-operate threaten to leave - if he doesnt try and stop you then you're best off out of it, if he begs you to stay - demand to see his phone. Good luck!

Answer 11

Ask him.. tell him you are not sure about your relationship anymore and ask him to go away if he continues hiding things from you.. explain that you don't like what is going on and u r not stupid making up those things but you have good reasons. see how he reacts..maybe he's cheating but maybe hes trying to avoid someone and just doesnt want to upset you.. could also be other things but i think the best way is to ask him straight and look at him in the eyes.Im sure you will sense it if he is lying to you..