My husband and I had engaged in a 3-some a little over a month ago. I did this to fulfull his ultimate fanatasy hoping to make things bettter....Haaa .....well now I have these worst feelings that i cannot get over. I feel like crap and my heart is breaking? This was also my best friend of 23 years so now anytime i see them in the same room i wonder if they are thinking about it...pleaaase help me.
2006-07-12 18:15:29 · 14 answers · asked by halfpint9701 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've said this before: threesomes make twosomes into onesomes. Make him stop giving in to excessive pleasuring for the future sake of what's left of your relationship. You know, like being satisfied with a regular-sized soda, instead of having it super-sized!
2006-07-12 18:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, I read every-ones answers to your question and I realized they had not read your question completely. The key in this question of your is where you say, you did it "hoping to make things better" !!
Threesomes seldom work, 90 percent of the time even in solid relationships they cause breakup's but you, you did it when your relationship was not solid, out of desperation, and hoped to gain his love by giving in to his desire to stray and do it with your permission, because that is exactly what he did, he got your permission to have an extra-martial affair. And whats more, with your best gf who he probably has been eyeing all these years.
My advice to you is to never do this again, talk to your gf, and explain to her that you regretted doing this, but that you don't hold her responsible, and that you will not be doing it again. If she is any kind of friend, she will make sure your husband never lays a hand on her again. That might set at least that worry of yours to rest.
You both should also consider going to counseling to get over the jealousy and guilt, and also to work on both of your issues what ever they may be, which drove you to agree to try a desperate thing like this.
2006-07-13 01:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I wish I had good advice, but unfortunatly I don't. My wife & I engaged in a similar activity. With one of her friends too (though they wern't friends for quite as long). Everything seemed to be okay right afterwards, but unfortunatly it took a downhill turn. My wife got jelous of me & her friend. And to be honest her & I kinda did start to have feelings for eachother. My marriage in turn suffered (other factors were part of the problem too, but this was the main one). She started drinking all the time and staying out late. Eventually I moved out and things just got worse. We decided to get divorced. I ended up having a relationship with her friend. My wife was devastated and I was upset that our marriage failed. The golden lining is that we did eventually give it as second shot and even though it is hard, and we do not trust eachother quite the same yet we are making a go of it. My advice is to stay away from such things. Get some counseling. COMMUNICATE!!!!! Good luck....
2006-07-13 01:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lionheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did something against your belief system and now you are paying the price for that decision. You must find a way to accept what you did and not worry about it any further. If husband requests it again, refuse. That is what your heart told you to do in the first place.
2006-07-13 01:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your experiencing old fashion jealousy and guilt. Jealousy because your husband desired another and guilt because you did something you didnt really want to. You either got to forget about it and get on with your life, or deal with it one way or another.....try getting a marriage counsler
2006-07-13 01:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by DeeK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was his fantasy not yours...so let him get over the feelings. There is just too much guilt over sex....from solo to couples or more. We have to realize it is natural, if god did not want us to have sex...he would have made us without those desires.
2006-07-13 01:19:16 · answer #6 · answered by Dave 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one made you do it.. So just deal with it..and if they are thinking about it it's ok ..because you did this to your self..you had to learn the hard way. Next time you do something like this think of the consequence's.
2006-07-13 02:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by Angie29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what... you can't change what happened...
Just don't worry about it too much...
Really, the only thing you can do is either talk about it, or shove it in to the back of your mind and forget it ><
2006-07-13 01:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Chii666 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know if it will get better or not....i think the trust is broken. when trust is broken it takes a long time to get back....why did you think you had to do this three-some thing..you said to make things better...does that mean for him or you?? time is big healer, and maybe this feeling of yours will lessen....why do you say your heart is broken? do you feel guilty? do you feel less loved? think about these questions and im me...i care....
2006-07-13 01:22:05 · answer #9 · answered by intelligentbooklady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The threesome would be okay, but you have to set rules with each other before hand. Secondly WHAT WERE YOU THINKING getting you friend? Duh big mistake!!!!!! The only one that can help you is yourself. Do you want to get over it and forget about it. Or do you want to stir the pot.
2006-07-13 01:22:30 · answer #10 · answered by terrbeary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋