he was chilling w/ a female he met in a club/bar. they started talking on the phone. She would take him where he needed to go, bought him an outfit, gave him $. they even went to a family function together when i was @ work. Yet he says she was just a ride. I found pictures of them in his wallet , hugging. He claims he was using her and telling her what she wnated to hear. that "it wasnt like that". then i found sevearl emails. One in particular that stands out which he claims hes never seen and doesnt know how it sent from his address to her. This happened almost a yr ago but then he stuck to his "we were jus friends". then we had some problems. I brought this up recently cause it was still bothering me. He admits to being wrong but its not the 1st time he gets all chummy w/ a female and its been a problem. he claims there was no intimate contact except an occasional hug but its just the fact he wasnt honest form the beginning thats bothering me. want to move forward but still hurts
2006-07-12 17:41:48 · 13 answers · asked by da_original1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We both love each other but its not the 1st time hes lied. He knows i know hes lying. He just likes to do what he wants and forgets his actions have consequences. we've talked but i know if i did what he did its would be a differnt story. We have plans for marriage but i need to able to trust him more. Im scared there will be a next time and that the results will hurt me and our son.
2006-07-12 17:45:40 · update #1
PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE STUPID RESPONSES. LIKE "ARE U STUPID".IE: COWBOY BILL. GET A LIFE. IS YOUR MAMA STUPID! I WANT AN INTELLIGENT OPINION. THANK YOU
2006-07-12 17:49:47 · update #2
Are you really this stupid?
2006-07-12 17:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave.
a man who is engaging in dating behavior is not a husband. he is a cheat who is too much of a coward to tell the truth and break up with you.
whatever he claims, that he's just 'using her', is just the same thing he's telling her...that he's just 'using you' for whatever reason he thinks she'll believe. he's a user of women.
men who cheat do these 3 things: deny, lie, and cry about the cheating.
think about why it is bothering you. if this is not okay with you, why don't you move on? the more he gets away with, with no real consequences, the more he will do.
How much more is it gonna take for you to leave? What is your limit? Will you have to catch him in the act? Does he have to admit it? What if he never does but just keeps lying and getting chummy with other women.
Dump him. Especially for your son's sake if not your own. It will be hard because he has the skills to charm you and you'll be hurting. But better a little pain now than a whole bunch of pain for you and your little ones later. Move on. Move on. Move on.
You deserve better. You son deserves a chance to see what real love is about from a man who can demonstrate how to love with respect. Good luck and be strong. You can do it--you've had the strength to put up with so much already. You have the strength to leave and make a new life too. Take all that energy you put into keeping tabs on him into yourself instead. It will be an incredible relief.
2006-07-13 00:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by fabulousisjane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you even have to ask whether you should stay or not. Enough said and done. Men for some reason can brain wash a women so easily. We can watch a man have sex in our bed and later he will tell us it was a friend ship or....... (and who knows what other bull$h1t a man can come up with). We believe in love and faith..... and men pretend to be---just to bang the chic.
If you think its OK and keep believing what he say's when you know inside (and I know you do cause us women have a strong intuition) and its always right, but we want to listen to our men and want to believe them. You are headed for heartbreak if it hasn't already happened.
Why waste your time with a man that lies and has no dignity, loyalty nor the time that you do. He doesnt want what you want. Ged rid of him and start looking for a real man that is on your level.
2006-07-13 00:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by UlickNme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would he say if you fed him the same story?
That would be interesting. Think about it. When in love you want to belive and allow emotion to rule your common sense. Did she buy underware with that outfit? Red flags are red for a reason. You have choices and if you chose to belive a man who already uses women, you can only blame youself, you already know, thats why you've asked, Be true to yourself, by the way??? Did he tell her he was using you too?
2006-07-13 00:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by dlbrown2211 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is like this while you are dating there is no reason to expect him to change because you get married.Not blaming you but he thinks he got away with it the first time and he keeps doing it.You can do better without all the stress and lies.You need to go and find someone who will appreciate you.You deserve better.
2006-07-13 00:50:41 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a liar and a cheater,you need to move on now,or be prepared for alot more let downs from this guy,as long as u stay and keep letting him do this to you, he's gonna keep on doing it,so let him go and go find the right person for you.
2006-07-13 03:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by hshellraiser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if you are married but if so get marriage counseling otherwise Leave Him! He doesn't deserve you. You'll find someone better.
2006-07-13 00:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by Donna M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love hurts sometimes you have to keep on moving and keep your head up time heels all wounds........maybe the next one will be the one.......good luck.
2006-07-13 00:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by getatjayr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just prolongs the heartbreak if you stay. Cut him loose now. Good luck
2006-07-13 00:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave if it is bothering you too much. Life is too short to have these kinds of things screwing you up.
2006-07-13 00:48:00 · answer #10 · answered by terrbeary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. He's not going to change. Or do you want to continue to be humiliated and lied to?
2006-07-13 00:47:35 · answer #11 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋