My husband is deployed and I have no family here. My closest family is over 500 miles away. They said they would come up here, but now say they can't (I expected this from them). I have no one here to help me, and I will be at the hospital by myself, and will probably have to drop off my 2 year old at the caregivers while driving myself to the hospital in labor. I will also probably have to carry the newborn out, in a carseat, with all our bags and everything else from the hospital because this military hospital doesn't believe in wheeling pain ridden, fresh from childbirth women out of the hospital. What can I do, I am scared and worried.
2006-07-12 17:04:24 · 11 answers · asked by mama of 2 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I have neighbors but I don't know them. The only friend I have in the area works most days and probably won't be able to help out (I can't ask her to miss work for me, I would feel awful if she got fired). I literally have NO ONE
2006-07-12 17:08:59 · update #1
It is too late for a doula, I am going to give birth any day now, and I don't feel comfortable getting with a parent group and having a stranger with me during that time. I can't have the baby anywhere else, or I will have to pay for it, and I can't call 911 because I have to get my 2 year old to the caretakers. I have to drive myself.
2006-07-12 17:11:50 · update #2
And no, the military doesn't give a shi* about your family (I got out of the military because they said my child came second to them) so they won't let him come home for the birth. He's injured right now because he got blown up and they won't even let him come home for that.
2006-07-12 17:12:47 · update #3
To robin, thank you for your answer, but it's not that easy to pack it up and move, and I have no choice but to leave my baby BOY with a caregiver, whom I do trust wholeheartedly. Going to my parents to have this child is also out of the question, as my father refuses to respect my wishes and continues to smoke in the house and around me and my child, because he says "secondhand smoke never killed anyone".
2006-07-12 17:25:59 · update #4
Its not too late for a doula - Please contact www.operationspecialdelivery.com - They will put you in contact with a doula for free for wifes of men who are deployed. It doesn't matter how late in the game it is. Make the decision and take charge of your care. These women want to help you. I know it says mail the form on the website but use the phone number and contact them.
2006-07-13 03:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by nerysnicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything will be ok! Do you have any friendly neighbors or anything in the area? Do you attend any specific "place of worship" (I'll be politically correct and not specify any)? I'm sure there's tons of people willing to help you out that you haven't even noticed. Even if it's not someone you know real real well, just ask if you could call them up when you go into labor and let them drive (it's probably not safe to drive while in labor). And ask if someone can come pick you up after the birth and help you carry stuff. I'm sure no one will feel burdened by it at all and just be glad to help a fellow community member. I know I would! It would also be a great way to make some good friends on the base! Does your husband have any family, friends, or other close associates that you could call on? I'm sure they'd be more than willing to help their family member/friend's wife! Next time you're at any kind of social place (party, dinner, coffee place, whatever), just casually mention that you don't know what you're going to do. I guarantee at least 10 people will jump at the oppurtunity to lend a helping hand!
Everything will be fine, don't worry so much :-) Good luck! And congratulations on the baby!!!!
OMG! I just read your "additional details"! I'm so sorry!! I'm glad to hear that he's at least still alive! I don't know all that much about the military and how it's run or anything, so I don't know how to help you in that aspect. Right now, just worry about that baby. I'm sure that's what he would want. He's probably worried enough for all of you!
2006-07-12 17:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by chica_zarca 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just go ask anyone!!! Don't be afraid of putting someone out! Most people don't even realize how huge their support system is until it's needed. The nurses on the delivery unit aren't cold hearted! Hospitals have a social services department as well that will help you dig into organizations in the area that will help you. If nothing else, go to a church (any if you don't attend) and just tell them you need help! If you were in southern indiana, i'd say call me and i'd help ya. Good luck!
2006-07-12 17:15:13 · answer #3 · answered by the_great_melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the exact same thing with my youngest his father was deployed when he was born and the only thing I can suggest if you don't have any close friends in the area to help you is to get support from your FRG. There are a lot of women there that have been through what you are going through and most of them are pretty willing to help.
2006-07-12 17:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by athena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a doula. you don't need to be by yourself. why won't they let him come home for the birth? my brother got leave for three days while his daughter was born. do not drive yourself. call 911. the last thing you need is to have a hard contraction and get in a accident. do you have to have it at the military hospital? they don't sound very american to me.
2006-07-12 17:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by haley'sdaddy25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation. Does his family live near you? if so maybe you can ask one of them. Maybe you should think about a midwife because at least you would have someone there with you that you will know.
I hope you situation works out and good luck on your new coming baby! I feel bad for you that you are going to be alone and also , shame on your family.
2006-07-12 17:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by krYpToNitEsMoM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like you knew this was coming. i mean obviously it;s no shock to you..I think it's time to pack it up and move closer to family..in laws or your family. What happens and there is a problem with you or the baby? what will happen to your older child. That;s really not fair to her either. You need someone there to care for her in a worst case scenario. Your going to leave your daughter with a care giver while you are in the hospital. God forbid something happen to you where would she be...
2006-07-12 17:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by *bossy* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your baby somewhere else..theres gotta be a local hospital..
and having a child alone isnt hard..i slept through my whole labor...what about close friends? maybe having your 2 yr old there would be a good thing....
birth is easy..and you have the hospital L & D nurses for help..along with your dr.
2006-07-12 17:09:33 · answer #8 · answered by mommy2savannah51405 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I am very sorry for your situation. Hope some one out their come's to your rescue, If you are in and around Texas, I can give you a ride myself. I hope everything goes well. If there's no help be strong and standup for yourself I beleive you can take care of yourself.
take care,
Sumanth.
2006-07-12 17:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by kakaraparthi s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try contacting a local parenting group or play group and explaining your situation and asking them for help. Nobody like another mother to help you get through this!
2006-07-12 17:09:34 · answer #10 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋