I've been married for almost ten years now... I'm 5'4, 28yrs old,105lbs,36-26-36,i have two beautiful kids....

Question

How come my husband never ask me for SEX?Its been 5 months from NOW without SEX... Everytime i call him at the office, he's always there... We spoke about this already and he said he just TIRED...Pls i need your advice

Answer 1

Actually my wife and I had gone through the same trouble. You know, its important for good communication in this situation. He may be right, maybe pressures of work are destroying his mood. Also, he could be suffering from some libido troubles and is embarrassed by it. That can be a really sensitive subject for guys, so figure out a best approach for your husband....or maybe see if he brings it up.

Instead of asking for sex, try sitting down and talking about your sex life. Ask him what he thinks about it....let him know you still desire him and want it, and ask if there is anything you can do to help get him in the mood. Please don't take this the wrong way, but maybe he's gotten bored with your sex life if its turned into a routine. Try and see if he's open to new things or has some fantasies you'd like to play, etc.

Be honest and communicate! If you have any other questions, etc. feel free to PM

Answer 2

It seems like the other people have given a lot of good suggestions, here's a shot in the dark to consider. How is the home life? What is the relationship like between you, him, and the kids. Again this may not even be close but without knowing, I'll offer it. If his opinions/needs/decisions are being put aside or not met it may be the cause of the problems. Examples: the kids come first, you decide what gets done and when, basically leaving him not much say in the daily household routines. He may be running away from you. Time at work is time away from you, he can call the shots. If he doesn't feel like he has your respect that may be why he doesn't even want to sleep with you. If you're not attractive to him emotionally, it doesn't matter what you look like physically. Make sure when he says he's tired he's not saying "I'm tired of you". If this is possibly the situation, you need to be gentle, ease him back into the daily activities, show him you respect him and value his opinions. Once you start getting a little healing in the love and respect department, things may warm up in the bedroom also. If this isn't you maybe it'll help someone else reading it.

Answer 3

First, let me say that I'm so sorry you're having this trouble. Marriage takes a lot of work and I commend you on 10 years. You don't say whether you work in or out of the home but I suspect you are a stay-at-home mom.

Okay, I'm not saying this is you, but sometimes, women get to be a big drag because they expect the husband to come home and "entertain" them. After all, they have been home with the kids all day and now they want some adult one-on-one but the husband has been hard at work and all he wants to do is unwind, relax, not think about anything for a while. Hubby is trying to unwind, the kids are at his feet clamoring for attention and so is the wife. He could be feeling overwhelmed.

If any of the above sounds like your life, make a concerted effort to change a few things. For example: your hubby comes home, let him sit and relax a bit...maybe pour him a glass of wine. Let the kids greet him but then keep them away from him for a little while so he can unwind. When you talk with him, don't lay out all the problems of the day; ask him about his job...be interested. Ask questions. And this is very important: say encouraging things to him...give him support and affirmation. Open communication is extremely important! But communication must be a two-way street.

Pretty_21, I don't mean to scare you but there is a serious problem in your relationship. And sadly, you asking advice from us out here in Yahoo!land is not the answer. You must seek professional help and I say this because either your husband has an undiagnosed medical problem which could be psychological or physical or he may be parking his shoes under someone else's bed. Five months is an extremely long time for a man not to have sex. And I am assuming that the two of you are comparable in age so I would venture a guess that your husband might be between the ages of 28 to 33. If so, this is still considered young and the two of you should be going at it like rabbits--I say this because I've been married to the same man for 30 years and when we were in our late twenties, early thirties, there was no stopping us!

I could go on and on with the advice but what I think you should do is this: 1) talk openly and honestly with your hubby and level with him, 2) have him checked physically to rule out any debilitating issues. You must seek professional help.

God bless you, my friend. I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 4

I am inclined to agree with everyone. There is a possibility that he is cheating. Were you the first for each other? Did you have other relationships before you got married. How old is he? These are questions that a councilor will ask. If you go to counseling(if he agrees) go to a clinical counselor and not one from a church. I have nothing against any religion but their answer is usually attendance and prayer is the fix is not realistic. Good Luck. By the way....BokBok2 is wrong in the fact men can not wait months for sex. I have gone up to 7 months W/O any, but my wife is on chemo therapy so there is a reason. I don't deny that I want some but I want it known that there are some men that do not think with there little head only.

Answer 5

Stress can cause a lot of men to have temporary impotency. The day in and day out grind of the job and family can begin to cause a lot of mental and physical problems, it happens to women too. I suggest the 2 of you get away together for a quicky vacation.
Make it a surprise to him we he has say a weekend off. Don't tell him till he walks thru the door and you have reservations already made.No need to be extravigant, it could be at a local hotel that maybe has a Hot Tub in the room.
If you have kids , get a relative or somebody you can trust to watch them for a day or 2. Tell them you are surprising the hubby with a little needed TLC! They will understand.
Then pack an overnight case with some candles , good wine, massage oils,sexy nighties, bubble baths and so on.. you know what your man enjoys! Bring along some snacks too, to replenish yourselves after some much heated and needed love making. If you need more later call room service!
The best element here is the surprise!

Answer 6

No man i have ever known can go without sex for that long. It is a fact that men think of sex several times a day. I would do a little snooping just to make sure he is being faithful or not. I dont see any way a man will turn down sex if say, you hopped in the shower with him and tried to get busy. Or got on your knees and started undoing his pants for a little you know what. What man could turn that down? They certainly cant say there is no time or that they are too tired. I would be very suspicious if my husband turned me down. And especially for 5 months.

Answer 7

There are several possible answers to your problem.

First, he may be concerned or embarrassed about his performance and is afraid of sex, like sexual anxiety disorder.

Second, there may be something physically wrong with him where he can't perform and he is afraid to tell you or afraid to see a physician.

Third, maybe the stress of his job is affecting him and he really is tired. There's a lot of stress on everyone in today's world, affecting a lot of areas of their life.

Fourth, he may be having an affair at the office.

Fifth, he could be gay. You sound attractive, so who wouldn't want sex with you?

Answer 8

Maybe it's because of your attitude.
I read your answer that you wrote on someone's question and you said you hate yourself because you are half chinese and you insult your own race? You were also very offensive and insulting to the person that asked the question. You sound really immature and insecure.
The way you respond and write you give the impression of a psycho maybe that's the reason why he won't ask you for sex. Or maybe it's because you hate yourself and half your race and other people hate you too?

Answer 9

There could be a lot of reasons. That all depends on the man himself.

Do you feel in your heart of hearts that he's cheating? Only you can answer that. If not, he may be going through something physical and may be embarrassed about it. He may need to see a doctor.

Tell him your concerns. If he blows them off, then tell that by him not telling you or blowing you off, leaves room for you to doubt his word and think that there could be someone else. If he's no longer in love with you, tell him to man up and say it. No sense in dragging the obvious IF that's the case. But, bottom line.....TALK TO HIM.

Answer 10

First, let me state the fact that there is indeed something wrong. Tell him what you really feel-don't conceal a single feeling. Let him know that having sex in marriage is also your need and you feel that you're being ignored. Ask him if he's having problems with his "you know what". If there's nothing wrong and he still wouldn't do it with you, have a marriage counselor.