I have currentally just gotten engaged. My fiances brother is getting married in two months. I have been with my fiance for three and a half years, as his brother has only been with the girl two years. They got engaged a year after they started dating. Well since that time they got engaged all ive been hearing about is this wedding. It drives me nuts. Me and the girl dont really get along, its really a show when we are around the family. I hate doing things for the wedding. Since they are the first to get married out of the family, this is all we hear about. This upcoming Saturday we have a bridal shower, and im trying to get out of it, bc i see no reason going if i dont get along with the other girl. I cant wait until this whole wedding thing is over. I'm so tired of hearing about it. It seriously is making me go crazy, Bc everytime im with the family, this is all i hear about.. and when people talk about my engagement, im not making it a big deal. HOW CAN I HANDEL THIS? SOMEONE HELP!
2006-07-12 15:44:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i have been in nearly the exact position except i am a guy. my wife (we have had our wedding) and i were together for 7 years b4 i proposed but her bro proposed to his idiot g/f a week b4 me. i had the ring for 3 weeks b4 but was waiting for a holiday we planned b4 i proposed. our weddings were a month apart but they got all shitty cause ours was close to theirs. the best thing i could do was to be nice as much as it killed me but i did it out of respect for my wife and not making a bad situation worse for her. i still hate them but am nice for her.
2006-07-12 15:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by loop'n'stab 2 · 6⤊ 2⤋
First of all, whether you like the girl or not, you share the same 'position' in the family -- in-law. When your wedding approaches, you won't want to deal with any more tension than what a wedding brings. It's not like the four of you will be living in the same house (I hope), for the time you have to spend with her, keep yourself surrounded by others to soften the dislike you feel. If you talk within a group, it is much easier than relating one-on-one with someone. Basically, grin and bear it while in her company. As your wedding approaches, you will be soaking in the limelight and she will be on the sidelines. Don't start off a marriage on the wrong foot. If you instigate an argument between the brothers, your future husband will resent you eventually. I have seen it happen too many times. Good luck, and suck it up a little.
2006-07-12 22:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first big test of getting along with the in-laws, you really want to pass this one.
Is is hard taking a back seat when you yourself have just gotten engaged. But your wedding is coming, with theirs out of the way, the family will now be focused on yours. So do you want them to remember you ducking out on the bridal shower? Or not being happy for the couple? Or being a stick in the mud about the whole deal? Just grin and bear it and be happy for them. Treat them exactly as you are going to want to be treated as your big day approaches.
You are joining this family, you will be spending many holidays together. Do you want to go into the marriage with this kind of "black mark" against you? I don't think so, and after all, it is her wedding day, an event that most women take very seriously, just be happy for her. Be helpful and when it is your turn she and other family members will notice how you really did all you could.
Good luck to you and congrats on your engagement.
2006-07-12 22:54:59 · answer #3 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just deal with it for now, when the wedding is over, then it will be your "moment to shine brightest"
It's her wedding and she is excited, and apparently the family that the two of you are marrying into are also, why make yourself look bad by skipping out on the events - trust me your absence will be noted. You might as well get used to it, your marrying brothers, do you really think you can avoid her for the rest of your life???? You have Christmas', Thanksgivings, Birthdays, Mothers Days, and Fathers Days just to name a few, not to mention all the hoopla to be sure of when one of you gets pregnant and the babies start coming. If you think she is going on about the wedding - you will get so much more information about the pregnancy and everything disgusting thing that it is doing to her body or that she feels.
So like I said -get used to it, you are just beginning.
2006-07-12 22:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by whatelks67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A way you can get out of it is by saying that you are really sick and then be like I can't go on. You can pretend to get very sick a few days before the bridal shower and call your sister-in-law and tell her you can't make it because you are under the weather and can't handle going out and getting everyone else sick. More attension by the way may go towards you. You and your soon to be husband can go places just you and him, no where near family and that stuff. If he is a very understanding person, break down and start to cry telling him that you can't handle the fact that she hates your guts and all you do is try to be nice to her but she doesn't do anything kind towards you. He should then cut you some slack and will probably help you avoid her. Good Luck!
2006-07-12 22:58:07 · answer #5 · answered by cheeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, You neeed to settle down. When it is time for your wedding, IT, will be the talk of the family. This GIRL is gonna be part of your family. You need NEED to stop being jealous, Yes Dear you are jealous. That is what it feels like.. You must understand that when you marry your honey, you are marrying his family too.. It is a package deal..
So for the sake of the next fifty years of being part of this family, you must accept the Sister-in-law. It is HER day hon, It is right that they are so happy about it..
But if you don`t check your attitude, You will not get the same treatment. You will alienate every member of your new family.. Not a good way to start a new family life..
This will pass. it doesn`t matter who met who FIRST. Love and marriage are not a race.. Your time will come. Enjoy this wedding and make friends with your family.. You are giving power to HER by letting her get you worked up.. Don`t !!!!
Dive in and have fun.. Don`t ruin this for her. You will regret it forever...
Enjoy your honey and be happy.. Stop trying to be first of everything.
God bless & Hugs from Texas. {:-)
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2006-07-12 22:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by jaantoo1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to deal with it. She's going to be in your life forever after this so suck it up and deal. Soon enough it will be your turn and everyone will be talking about your wedding and I;m sure she'll be at your bridal shower. So you need to go to hers. Be the better person and don't start an even bigger feud. It's family. Doesn't mean you have to like her just try and tolerate her.
Good luck
2006-07-12 22:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being kinda silly if you ask me. If you don't want to go, DON'T GO. I know you want to make an impression on your bf family, but come on, why? The only two people you really have to worry about are you and your bf. If he can't understand this, then maybe you will just have to stand by your decision and have a mind of your own. It won't stop at the wedding if you don't put your foot down now....what happens when she has kids before you?
2006-07-12 22:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by cabbiegrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should just suck it up for your fiance's sake...it will only cause more friction between the two of you if you don't attend...try to look at their wedding as a way to get ideas for how you want your wedding to be...
2006-07-12 22:49:04 · answer #9 · answered by justjaime25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were the one getting married first then your sister in law would probably be the one on here complaining about hearing about your wedding all the time.....this is what you do.....grow up
2006-07-12 22:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by Its Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure it is not jealousy and if not you are next to be wed, so maybe you should grow up and at least try to be decent to the girl especially if the brothers are close
2006-07-12 22:54:15 · answer #11 · answered by mamal3babygirls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋