He's 52, married for a long time. He's smart, funny and looks kinda nice too. Then he hired this woman about 1-1/2 years ago. At first she acted quiet and nice - like a regular person. Then she passed probation, figured out whose butt to kiss (the boss's) and started to take over the section she was in, stepping right over women who had been there for years. She also began spending LOTS of time with him - they'd come in together, have lunch together and leave together. They are both married to other people! Everybody can see what's going on. I tried going up the ladder to complain but got smacked down. Now she doesn't even work in our section anymore but still comes around practically every day, acting like she owns the section and him with it.
Why is he being so stupid? Isn't he old enough to know better? My main problem is jealousy, because I have feelings for him but never did anything about it because he's married. But he could hurt his career & marriage. Any suggestions?
2006-07-12 15:32:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
You ask a tough question. Both your boss and that woman are obviously willing participants in what they are doing. Yes, I agree that it appears that your boss is headed for disaster, both at work and at home, but there is little you can do about it.
It is clear that you care for him on both a professional and a personal level. You should not interfere because it may only come to haunt you later and then YOU would be the one to suffer professionally.
Your boss is an adult, and how he conducts his personal and private life is his own business. I can't believe that the other managers and your boss's own boss are clueless. They must know, or will know soon since your boss's behavior is so obvious.
Best to just let things take their course, even though it is difficult for you. Don't let your own work and career suffer because of this.
And, ultimately, aren't you glad that you did not make any moves to your boss on a personal relationship? He is just showing that he is a jerk. If he cheats on his wife, he would cheat on you too and will probably end up cheating on that woman he is seeing now.
2006-07-12 15:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by ps2754 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You might've inadvertently pissed off the person you tried to tell who is higher than your boss. As childish as it may sound they might've taken you as a nosy or jealous person. I say you log things that happen such as them spending all that time together and her coming back to your area possibly causing distractions to other employees. You should look into your employee handbook and read up on manager-employee relationships. How about calling your Human Resources department? I'm sure someone will hear you out there. I know your feelings towards him makes this a lot more like a slap in the face everytime you see it. Keep your calm, be professional and present your case accordingly. Good luck.
2006-07-12 22:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boss is going through a mid-life crisis. I don't believe there is anything you can do that won't have a bad result for you. If you pursue any type of course of action, it may make both him and her resentful. If I was you, I wouldn't do anything unless I was prepared to leave that job. Otherwise, just be comfortable in the knowledge that what goes around comes around....
2006-07-12 22:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by hop0409 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jayne,
I agree with t g
it's his life to ruin as
he wishes.
You are not his wife
and you certainly do not
want to be involved with
him, or you´d become
just like the other woman.
I feel sorry for their children,
but,
life has a way of working
things out.
Trust me, this will not
last much longer, and I would
strongly suggest you look for
another job. Be prepared.
2006-07-12 22:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by vim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you're right- he is being stupid. sounds like he likes the attention, so i say let him dig his own grave-he is married anyway and there's not much you can do about it. I have seen this happen in my office but i turn the other way because i know eventually they will get what's coming to them - a spouse will find out or they will get demoted or transferred. concentrate on your goals and act with confidence, honey :)
2006-07-12 22:41:34 · answer #5 · answered by bonbon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is about the age for a mid-life crisis. Men can do stupid things when a woman is involved. Only suggestion I have is to let him run his life as he pleases. You are not his wife.
2006-07-12 22:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by tg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell his wife! Anonymously
2006-07-12 22:36:19 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rat him out---secretly of course
ps u dont want a cheater
2006-07-12 22:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by CoC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋