2006-07-12 15:14:24 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps the best way to answer such a question is to look at two types of marriage. There are many people who marry someone whom they know well before marriage, and are very compatible with. Then there are many other couples who do not get to know each well enough beyond sex.
For those in the first group, divorce is not even an option. Not unless one or both simply give up on the marriage for any of a number of reasons. If there is a strong compatibility and commitment, couples in this group will normally work through their troubles or seek counsel.
For those in the second group, divorce is probably inevitable. Without knowing someone as a person very well, there often are very few points of compatibility, if any. Sooner or later trouble can come to this group. And without the closeness of compatibility and love, there is nothing to hang onto. So, divorce is inevitable, unless the couple decides to work to save the marriage. I do not recommend divorce in any case, but I recognize that it is too often the only choice for those who were never really in genuine love.
2006-07-12 15:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by Don H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 22 years before I was divorced. The number of years in a marriage does not mean it will last forever. It was a very hard decision to divorce, but once done, I have never been happier! In my situation, I think I went through the grief process while still in the relationship. The healing process after divorce is very similar to those you go through when someone dies -- only you still may run into them! You have to grieve your losses -- loss of your spouse, your hopes and dreams and in many cases, homes, money, friends, children and more! If I were you, I would talk to a counselor about how to heal after the divorce. I would think a first step would be to see if one of you can be transferred to another department or even physical location would be better. Otherwise, it would be like rubbing salt into the wound. A second step, would be to accept the facts of what she has told you. You cannot make someone love you--and once its gone, there's no going back. Even if you try, it is never the same---too much water has run under the bridge. Once you grieve the loss, and accept the current situation, you will probably feel angry about a lot things. This is normal. Once the anger subsides, you will start to look at the future instead of the past. Give yourself time to heal and you will love again! The first person you will love, will be YOURSELF. Before you know it, you will start to see your positive traits and a whole wolrd of new possibilities will open up for you. It will be a time of great personal growth and development. There is indeed life after divorce -- a wonderful and happy life! Good luck!
2016-03-15 23:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way...divorce is a last resort...if there is still love between the two of you, you should try marriage counseling, or read a dr. phil book! marriage is hard...i have been married for eight and a half years...we have had many ups and downs, but the love never went away...unless one partner is very abusive, there is always a way to work through it...too many people give up too easily on marriage these days...just hang in there!
2006-07-12 15:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by justjaime25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That all depends on what kind of trouble you're talking about. That is too broad a question to pose to someone.
Communication - communication - communication
This is the key. You won't know and won't be sure of anything until you sit down with your spouse to discuss the issue at hand.
2006-07-12 17:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dee M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are only two ways out of a marriage: death or divorce. I'd advocate divorce if you want out.
2006-07-12 15:26:51 · answer #5 · answered by scubalady01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my divorce is final in 2 days, i dont want it..i love my husband with my whole heart and soul, no divorce is NOT the best way out, try counselling, even if the other spouse wont go, there are supposedly really good books out there too. try to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
2006-07-12 15:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Sunny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what the problems are.If they are fixable,and both parties are willing to work on it,then try to save your marriage.IF abuse,drugs,alcohol,or any other major problems,then you need to get out.Abuse is not something that is going to get better so run.Drugs and alcohol,if he/she wants to change,and wants help,then give it a try.If things still don't change,then,you are left with no choice but to leave.I really would like to know what the problems are so maybe we could help you more.Good luck.
2006-07-12 15:27:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all other opption's are exausted. It's probably better. That mean's all opption's. The main prob is we don't know how to tolerate, communicate, be loyal, talk about fear's, we need to learn these thing's or we may never get it right.
2006-07-12 15:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by thresher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes..once the thrill is gone, the marriage is pretty much dead..best to move on than to live a lie..
2006-07-12 15:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by KT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set down and talk with your mate tell them how you feel what trouble you have and see if he can work it out with you
2006-07-12 15:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by john boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋