would you have sex with a good friend who is gay, my roommate and best friend who i have known for a long time , just came out of the closet and told me that he is gay and that he is in love with me and he wants us to sleep together !!!
i mean the guy is great and i have known him for a long time and i don't care if he is gay but i am not gay and i want to stay friends , but he is telling me he told me that he was gay to ask if we could sleep together and if not he is going to move out and leave me , coz " he said he cant bare living with me and loving me but with out being able to have me !!!! "
what would you do !!
2006-07-12 15:07:28 · 16 answers · asked by crazzy_em 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
thanx you guys for all your answers, I would like to add that, he is my childhood friend and I have known him for about 19 and I am 23, we have gone through so much together and I love the guy but not that way, what would you do to save the relationship, the old one + the fact that he is gay!
and thanx agian
2006-07-12 16:01:21 · update #1
I'm gay.
Don't sleep with him. Do not have pity sex to please him. He is wrong to ask you to do something you don't want to do.
If you continue to live with him you must set clear boundaries. He must understand that there are some things that are off limits. If he will not adapt, he needs to move out.
If he moves out it is ok to stay in contact with him as long as he behaves. If he will not behave, cut him off - and I mean quick!
More than likely your friendship will survive. Life will go on and he will get over you. He will meet new guys. You will be with women. It is hard to be gay. He will need friends.
Tell him the best way to get over a man is under a new one!
Best of luck!
2006-07-12 16:50:28 · answer #1 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not straight but . . .
You have been put in an unfair situation. If you are totally uninterested, it's not fair for him to try to *make* you sleep with him by saying it's either sex or no friendship. I also have to wonder whether this is really love for him or just lust. Regardless, it's his problem to solve, not yours. Sleeping with him once is not really going to solve anything if he's really in love with you - in fact it will probably make things worse. And if you're not comfortable with it, things are going to be very awkward between the two of you, and your friendship will deteriorate anyway.
So, basically, don't do it unless you're actually interested. He might be upset for a little while, but eventually he'll come around if he's really your friend.
2006-07-12 22:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Speedy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bro, one thing u gotta know is that if u sleep with him once for pity, he's gonna ask for it someother time. If he's ur true friend, then he's gotta try to save the friendship too. U should not be the only one trying to keep the friendship. if he was bold enough to tell u he wanted to sleep with u without fearing the preservation of ur friendship, then u should be bold enough to tell him u are not willing to sleep with him without fearing the preservation of ur friendship. If he's a true friend, he'll understand u. He can move out but if he remains a loyal friend, then i think that's okay. Besides u won't stay with him forever. So make ur choice dude. Good luck.
2006-07-13 00:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by darkestknight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been there myself, I can sure understand it being hard for him to live around someone that he's very attracted to and 'can't touch'.
But while you sympathize, since you're sure you're str8, you need to be true to yourself, just like he does. 'Pities' are not such a good idea, and would just put more unwanted pressure on your friendship.
So someone moving is the best way. It's too bad, but a common problem. With you guys living apart you stand a better chance of staying friends, which is great right?
2006-07-12 23:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by Luis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget he is gay, or a male. He is a human being love stricken. Wanting to have someone he knows he can not have.
Please him out of pity, is a disrespect to your friendship. We care about our friends not pity them.
Are you curious about having sex with a man? If yes, don't do it with him. Your curiosity is no match for his lust. If you are not curious, then stay out.
You can still be friends even if he moves out. If he breaks the friendship over this, that is his decision to make, be a friend and respect that.
2006-07-12 22:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by umbralatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I am a gay man. But I would have to say don't go for it. Since you have made it clear you are straight, he needs to back off. If he wants to leave, so be it. Get another roomate. Chances are if you are a nice guy, it will be easy to find one. He needs to respect that you do not have the same feelings and if he cannot, then that is on him. Hang in there.
2006-07-12 22:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by yokaimayhem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be a one time thing only. you will not lose anything if you do sleep with him. however you have to make it clear to him that you are doing it only because you feel sorry for him. you have to tell him that he should not expect that you will reciprocate his love because you cannot, and that is the way things are. who knows, he might open new worlds for you to consider and think about.
2006-07-12 22:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by patric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him move out, he is gay-not you! He should respect your decision to be hetero; as you respect his to do it in the poop chute. Find a new roomy before your butt hurts in the morning!
2006-07-12 22:20:26 · answer #8 · answered by mysticmars 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Straight people - stick with straight people okay?
And don't give us an indication you might want to sleep with us because you're curious. I do not need that drama.
2006-07-12 22:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by elymendoza1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy to see him moved. If you've no preference for the same sex, why nurture such friendship!!!!
2006-07-12 22:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋