After being mistreated by men, everytime a guy smiles or flirts with me I think he is evil and dirty. am i ok
Im not attracted 2 men anymore or even want 2 date. when i see images of men and women having sex i think it is cheap and porn like even if they r married or dating. i never was like this before and im starting 2 wonder is this normal & what does this mean if im not attracted 2 men and they disgust me? im not gayt cuz i dont find women attractive either. After bein cheated and abused & dumped I think all men are dogs and predators after dirty sex all the time, and im scared of them & not into them anymore... i dont know whats going on with me? i don think i can trust them anymore or want 2 after what i been thru...
2006-07-12 14:50:42 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You are attracted to "bad boys". Normal men are boring to you. I've seen it over and over again. Women complain that they can't find a good man, then continuously go after guys with the same traits. Recognize your shortcomings and make a conscious effort to change.
2006-07-12 15:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by mrknositall 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true that there are a lot of jerks out there, I think that it is important for you to be aware of any red flags that come up. Ask yourself questions about the guys before you go head first into a relationship; are they financially stable, do they treat you well and for how long, do they come off as arrogant and self centered, do they listen to you (not just hear you, that is just noise, do they actually think about the things that you say and do they care), are they empathic, validating, caring, emotionally available, or are they just out for a quickie, etc. I would suggest thinking about some of these things and reflect back on your previous relationships and see what was missing, sometimes we are so anxious to be with someone that we miss some important signs, that can be dangerous and we are left right where we stared, alone; don't give up, just be patient and aware. This sounds like a phase where you are taking your previous relationships and overgeneralizing to everyone around you, it is safe, but it is also lonely. You need to feel confident and competent within your self before you jump out there, if we are unsure, we can make unhealthy choices and attract the wrong people; think and be positive and you will increase the likelihood of attracting more positive people, remember, misery loves company.
2006-07-12 15:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by deepthinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I think you probably just need time. I think it's very normal to be repulsed by something after you've had a bad experience with it, whether it's men or alcohol or crayons or anything. My mom just got food poisoning from a turkey sandwich, and now she can't even think about turkey without gagging. Of course, that won't last forever. And I doubt your repulsive feelings toward men will last forever, either. But for now, it IS important for you to avoid men. You have to honor your feelings at the moment. Your emotions are normal and understandable. Focus on yourself for now, and don't worry about any "lost opportunities" with men - you wouldn't have enjoyed them anyway because of your present state. Don't listen to any folks who try to convince you to "get over it" or "trust people" or "just give so-and-so a chance". You alone will know when you're ready to trust men again. If you try to overcome your emotions before you're ready, you'll do a disservice to both yourself and the man you're with.
Trust in yourself right now. The rest will work itself out.
2006-07-12 14:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by Tiger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a depressing time for you to be in. I hope it's just a phase. I do understand in a way, because a lot of guys are after sex. But there are some guys out there for more than that, because there are marriages, and children, and all kinds of good things going on in this world. Sounds like you are reflecting too much on the bad things. Don't feel bad, though. I'm pretty pessimistic myself!
2006-07-12 14:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One think of your age.... If that isn't the issue ... You need to get in touch with that group I saw on the news earlier this year about people NOT interested in MAN / WOMAN sex In no way form or fashion... they just have friends and live life... I wish this group was around when I was younger...I always thought if you weren't getting married you had to going a convent and I wasn't Catholic growing up so that wasn't my option... Anyway... Think long and hard and in to the future for your self before you do anything specially if you are a young-en..
2006-07-12 15:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to involve a psychiatrist and see what damage has actually been done mentally. That way you will know if it is a phase, or something to be worried about. In a way the situation is your fault. You picked the guy who hurt you. You should have picked someone more sensitive or more intelligent, or something other than what turned you on in the first place. Good luck. you will need it.
2006-07-12 14:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your best food was chicken and you were forced to eat chicken day and night for a week non stop eating and throwing it up in a sealed room with mothing but chicken all over you and the smell of chicken you would definitly not eat another piece of chicken after you got out for at least 2 months
your just going through a phase stop thinking and looking at men for a while and in about two months you'll be just like a 16 year old crazy over boys
and looking all over for us -and when that happens remember-choose wisely
2006-07-12 14:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by badboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, spend some time with yourself. Forget all about everybody. Men included. Relax...chill out. Then, after you spend some time getting to know yourself...a guy comes up to you. Well, size him up. Is he worthy of you. If so, then ease into getting to know him and see if you can make a friendship first. If it goes further, great. If not, then nothin ventured - nothing lost. Life goes on!
2006-07-12 14:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by 5375 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you're asexual. Some people become asexual due to trauma, and need many years to feel some form of attraction afterwards. Some are born as asexuals and never feel any form of attraction for anyone.
I think you should talk to a therapist to figure out where you stand.
2006-07-12 14:56:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably under some trauma right now. I suggest you seriously dissect the good things about men and find out what turned you against men in this way.
2006-07-12 15:00:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋