Does it count when you're nice to people but you're aware of it...that you sometimes think about how?

Question

some people would have reacted like this...or that but you realize yourself how you behaved nicely in a situation and are conscious of it...for example, I was making sandwiches last night for dinner. When getting mayo out of the jar, I dropped a big blob of it on the counter and scooped it right back up with the knife and spread it on my bread instead of my husband's. I didn't want him to have the "tainted" mayo...even though WE are going through a divorce. I thought to myself...I bet a lot of people would have given someone else that "dropped" mayo, huh ? So, my point is...is this arrogant to think that way or is it just realizing your own good qualities ? Who else does this ?

Answer 1

I don't think is arrogance at all, specially if you did not brag about it to your husband... the nice things to do are for your conscience to know, because conscience is the eyes of god on each one of us... so, if you ever do any harm to somebody and if you know that your conscience is not going to be happy about it, that also means that you have principles, also very important, the funny thing is, for you to feel even better, those good qualities of yours, are to be discovered to have all the real meaning of them... sorry for what you are going trough though...

Answer 2

Yes, I've done this too. Like for instance I give myself the half-filled glass of orange juice while my mom gets the full one. I don't think it's arrogant at all... it's actually selfless... you're thinking about someone else's needs over your own. Coz u love that person so you only want the best for them no matter what it is.

Well, even if the person is your soon-to-be ex-husband, the fact that u didn't give him the tainted mayo proves you still think of others rather than yourself. As the others have said here, as long as u keep it to yourself, God knows the good deed u did no matter how trivial it may be. ;o)

Answer 3

We drop into and out of states and levels of consciousness all the time...how much more irritation would the day have needed before you'd have made another choice? Or...did a stressful day push YOU into playing martyr? I wrestled with this particular question for many, many years and while it's been said in different ways by different people, I found my answer by looking not at motivations, which are always impossible to judge (who among us can compare our motivations to those of any other person? who among us has truly lived in someone else's skin?) but rather by looking at results FOR ME. Because it's not my partner's happiness that's most important to me...it's mine. And by doing for myself first and foremost, I do what I believe makes the most difference. The happier I am, the more of me I've got for those I care about, and the less easily I'll give or sacrifice excessively for those I don't care about. And in these small matters, it always seems to work...provided I keep in mind what I really need. The selfish answer always seems to be the right one but selfishness doesn't always take the form I expect. I don't much like my mother but I am MISERABLE if I don't "honor" her...it seems to be hard-wired in the genes and I HAVE to strike a balance. I still catch myself comparing my motivations with what I imagine to be the norm or the ethical ideal, but I don't do it quite as often any more...I'm happier for it, and while those who once took advantage of me are likely to dispute this, I believe I'm also more productive and less destructive with those around me as well. For example, right now I could be doing something for myself. But I am VERY upset at this time and acting on the belief (real or imagined) that I might be contributing to others at a time when I can't seem to do much for myself, I THINK I'm avoiding a lot of unnecessary suffering, and if the genetic theorists are right, actually doing MYSELF a favor by contributing (or heh going through the motions of same...hard to tell sometimes) to the greater good and not judging myself one way or the other for getting a bit of a charge out of satisfying that particularly selfish desire through what outwardly might appear to be an unselfish act....which this response is not.

Answer 4

I don't think that this is arrogant at all. I believe that you are just acknowledging that it is the right thing to do and you are also concerned about the well-being of fellow humans. We all have a choice as to whether we should act in a good or bad manner, and in most cases, I think it is harder to make the right decision than the wrong one because, many times, the wrong one is selfish.

Answer 5

No it isn't arrogant at all, it is realizing what you are doing right. Nothing wrong with that. I wish more people would realize when they are doing something WRONG and then correct themselves! I do it because I do my best everyday. Sometimes it's not as great as the day before, but at least I make an effort and am consious about it.

Answer 6

Maybe you intend to be a martyr or your just in training. I hope if you do something nice for someone else, that it's done for your own satisfaction knowing you are a good person. Otherwise, no one will be looking to pin a medal on your chest and you'll spend your life worrying about what other people think about you.

Answer 7

God Bless you thats what being a good person is.., Not some people would, but alot of people would..I've done the same thing you did with jelly.. Just proves your a good person who thinks of others.... GOOD FOR YOU, LOL ROB

Answer 8

it sounds like you're a very nice person, and it is great that you do stuff like that-I'm sure it shows, plus it does matter more that you know what you have done that is really kind for other people so you can respect yourself more, plus little things like that actually help everyone out and its truely great to help out for what you give to the world, will one day give you back

Answer 9

It is healthy to praise yourself. You want to feel good about yourself. It is only wrong when you think so much about yourself that you forget other people, but you remember your husband.

Answer 10

I would have rinsed it off in the sink!

But I think it's considerate and virtuous when you do the right thing and not the evil thing.