~~For the MoM's~~ Serious answers only!?

Question

I am only a 13 year old female but I can't wait to have my own child! I know that it takes patience and money but I am serious about it! How old were you when u had your first child? What was it like after the child was there? Me and My best friend want to have 2 children before we are 21! Is that ok or do we need to wait?

Answer 1

Sweetie, I'll be honest with you, I got pregnant at the age of 19. I was 20 when I had my daughter and I'm a couple of days away from my 21st and my daughter is 6 1/2 months. It takes so much work. More work then you really know about now. Think about it, you will probably get only a few hours of sleep every night and I do mean a few. When I had my daughter I was lucky to get 3. You have to take into consideration the amount of time this child will take up of your time. They demand constant attention. The amount of patience is something that is unbelievable. There are times now where I feel like I'm going to lose it. Money is another issue too. I mean when I had my daughter things added up and fast. For example:
Formula= 4 cans that were 32 oz each @ $31.00 each
Drop Ins for the bottles= 3 boxes with 50 liners in each @ $5.00 each
Diapers= 1 box of 120 @ $35.00
Total: $174.00
That was for the first month of her life. And that doesn't include clothes, bedding, car seat, crib, bassinet, mattresses for crib and bassinet, stroller, baby wipes, etc
You will get some stuff at the baby shower but most people don't give big ticket items. My baby's crib alone was $250.00. The mattress was $184.00. The bedding is $45.00. The car seat and stroller combo was $150.00. Then once the little one gets bigger you have another car seat, playpen, walker, swing, toys.
I will not tell you how to live your life but if I were you I would wait and really think things through. Everything I've told you so far is just having one and you want 2 by the time your 21. What about school? What if the daddy or daddies aren't in the picture? What are you going to do to get the money to buy all these things? How about babysitters? Is the little one going to have to be in daycare? There are so many things you have to consider. I personally will never regret having my daughter but I do regret not waiting to have her. If you have any other questions feel free to send me an email.

Answer 2

You really need to wait. I was 22 when I had my first child and it was much more difficult than what I thought it was going to be. At this point you're way to young because you can't even get a job to support the baby. What if the baby needs diapers or something, how will you get to the store? These days it's very hard to get a good job when you don't have a college degree and if you have a baby now, chances are you won't be able to finish school and go to college if you have a baby right now. I suggest you wait at least until you're 18 and you graduate high school. You could still have two children by the time you're 21 at that time. Please consider this so that you and your baby could at least have a chance. BTW, there's no way that you can live off of a minimum wage job these days. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh wow....

My dear, I was 21 when I got pregnant with my first child. I had her when I was 22. I am 28 now, and I still don't think that I was ready to be a parent at that age.
First of all, your life changes from the moment that you get pregnant. Your body does things that you never knew that it could do. You gain weight, you get sick to your stomach at ALL hours of the day and night when you least expect it, as the baby gets bigger, there's less room inside for things that are there now....including your lungs and bladder at nine months gestation. (Means shortness of breath and more trips to the bathroom to pee) And just wait until the baby starts kicking you at the wrong time. Then there's labor and delivery....THAT'S no pretty picnic, let me tell you! Very painful.
And once the baby is here....there is a whole other person that is relying on you to keep it clean, safe, fed, and warm. That is really hard to do if you don't know how to do that for yourself. And you will be amazed at how fast all the stuff that a baby needs ads up.....there's the car seat, recieving blankets, diapers, clothes, bottles, formula, bath supplies, toys, blankets, baby monitors, pacifiers....just to name the BASICS.
You also have to realize that the baby doesn't sleep on the same schedule that you do right off the bat....a newborn eats EVERY 2 HOURS including at 2 and 4 am. They don't know night and day...you have to teach them....and get up with them. A baby isn't at all like a doll that you can just leave in your toy box when you're tired of playing mommy. You have to be there 24/7/365 emotionally, mentally, and phyiscally. And it's even harder if for some reason that guy that you think is the greatest thing since sliced bread and will be there for you and the baby, turns out not to be.....and they are out there...trust me on that one.
I mean do not get me wrong, I would not change being a parent for the world, I just would have waited a little longer to become one had someone clued me in on all that it would entail. Think long and hard before you bring someone else into this world that is completely helpless and dependant on you for everything.

Answer 4

Okay serious stuff here. Well, I was 21 when my daughter was born. 25 now so it wasnt' too long ago. All I can say is thank God I didn't have a kid at 16 like every other childhood friend I had did. It was the single most difficult thing I've ever been through. Firstly, you are no longer living your life for yourself, your every waking thought is the baby. No going out, no chattin it up with friends, no showers sometimes. And that is WITH a man around. Second, most of your young and unattached friends will eventually disconnect from you. Not to say that they aren't good friends, but really you have nothing in common anymore. Thirdly, girls you are 13 for *bleep"s* sake. Do you realize how many years you have to bear children? Like 30 at least. Please live it up while you are young and your parents' are still giving you stuff. Because when you are on your own, you can only depend on yourself. And you won't have just your mouth to feed. Hopefully you aren't selfish and planning on having your mom's around to raise YOUR children. Being a mom is hard work, and although we wouldn't swap our kids for anything, OUR kids are enough... once they've grown, that's it. It's time for parents to be adults again. We have so many adult years, and so few beautiful, young, and free ones. Take advantage of your youth and don't be in such a hurry to grow up. Try a puppy!

Answer 5

you need to wait. seriously. why the rush to grow up? if you simply must be around babies, see if there's a neighbor or someone else you know that could use a helping hand a few hours a day.

I was 20 when I got pregnant, 21 when I had my daughter, and I was still terrified. not to mention jealous because my friends were all out being new 21 year olds and I couldn't join in on the fun. even if I wanted just to go to the mall and window shop a bit it was a major production. and forget about hanging out with your single, childless friends. sure, they may be all gaga for a bit, but after a few months of you talking about the baby nonstop, they might be a little tired of it. besides, they'll either want to hang out someplace a baby really shouldn't be or because they just don't know, they won't take into account all the extras you need to take along.

it's not a bad thing to want a family of your own. but you're so young and you have so much time to do it. you should really just concentrate on graduating at least high school first and becoming an adult.

Answer 6

I was 21 when I had my first child, which was a good age for me. You are entirely too young to even think about having a child yet, you have no idea what having a child means. You are probably thinking of the little baby faces and hands and gurgles and coos that everyone thinks of when they think of babies. Now think of this: You need money to raise a baby, and at your age you would be lucky to find someone to hire you at all. If they did hire you, you would probably get minimum wage, and add that job on to your school time, you won't have much time for gurgles and coos. You also probably won't make enough to support that child. It's not just diapers and formula either, its hospital visits (giving birth is NOT cheap), clothes literally every month, bottles, etc etc. You are too young. Wait until you get into your teen years and start having fun (you don't need to have sex to have fun by the way) and then just imagine what you would miss out on (pretty much everything) if you had to come home everyday and take care of a child. No going out, partying, and you'd be lucky to find a guy your age willing to date someone 16 or 17 with a 3 or 4 year old. Just wait, there's no rush.

Answer 7

I really want to stress that you should wait. I was twenty five, married, and well educated when my first baby was born and it was still very hard. I understand where you are coming from because I always wanted children. Even as a kid I was always in love with babies. I used to go over to friends houses just so I could help out with their younger siblings. I babysat from the age of nine. But I wanted to be an adult before I had my own children. I went to college and got a good education, I married a wonderful man and made sure that we had some years under our belt as a couple before adding a child. Being a parent is not like babysitting, its not like hanging out with a friends baby for an afternoon. It is a lifetime devoted to another person. You need to make sure that you spend some of your life concentrating on yourself so that you have something to offer that child who will call you mommy someday.

Answer 8

I was 23 years old when I had my first child. Before I had him I enjoyed the fact that I was able to run around with my friends and not have to worry about a babysitter and spending money on another being. You are just 13 years old, a kid and need to wait till you graduate high school and at least college. You need to find a good man and get married. Get a good paying job and a house and then have kids. STOP RUSHING because you have all the time in the world to have kids. Live your childhood and stop rushing to do adult things. SO WAIT till you are an adult, married with money and a house OK.

Answer 9

at 14 my best friend and i wanted kids THANK GOD we never got em till we were grown. You can't be a great mom your too young to ever DRIVE. You will HATE not having a fun adult life college and travel and all the great things that come with being young and not TIED DOWN. My friend and i baby sat WE thought we would be good moms we were good babysitter, IT'S NOT THE SAME BY FAR. We would dress up the kids we watched take em places and could not see how much WORK a child is. iT'S depressing to be a teen mom watching your friends grow up while you watch barney and sing ABC's. Your dreams and hopes should be 1st. You need a stable husband a home and a job a car medical insurence all the things teen moms do without. Yes i'm sure you know someone who got pregnant young you think they are a good mom. It is possible to be a good mom young but, YOU give up your life your hopes to do it. When you are older and have a home you will be a great mom there is NO REASON to go thru being a young uneducated unmarried teen parent.

Answer 10

Precious,
there is nothing wrong with wanting to be a mother. Some of us are born with the natural desire while others are not. And one day I pray that you have the perfect family with a loving husband and 2 beautiful children. But it doesn't just pop up one day. You have to prepare for it. The best thing that you can do is prepare for your future, because that is what it is, by concentrating on you. Getting an education, so you can be financially able to raise children, and being careful about who you date. For finding the right mate for marriage is serious. Learning, and growing up and when the time is right. I pray you will experience then the beautiful delights of raising a family, with a good mate.