After 4 years of marriage my husband cheated it was painful but I decided to at least try to make it work. If after a certain amount of time I still can not get over it I think I would know what to do. Either way I am preparing for the worst, which hoping for the best.
2006-07-12 13:45:55 · 28 answers · asked by Rae 1 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
That is all that u can do, prepare for the worst but pray for the best . Keep your head up and always have faith in God. God doesn't put u through more than u can bear.
2006-07-12 13:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
My hubby (b 4 we married) did that 2 times and after I got him to tell me why, he said he would never do it ever ....now it did take me some time to get over the fact that it happened...but his reason was that he was not completely sure I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and needed to know if there was someone else out there for him...He greatly regrets it now because he is more then certain that I am best for him. I hope you can work things out with your man and after you go through it all it is worth the pain in the knowing that you have the man and they don't.Hope he doesn't do it again for if he does then I would consider moving on...every relationship has its ups and downs...so think to your self ....if he will never do it again and you still move on do you know if the next guy will do it, or the next....or the next?
2006-07-12 20:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by nickscamarochick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, once a cheater, always a cheater.
I never will understand why anyone cheats. Even if he's not cheating on you at all in anyway, and hasn't since, look what its doing to you? Your still hurting. I think you might need to talk to him. Maybe couple therapy to work it over. You can't go on the rest of your life wondering if he's cheating, and not trusting him.
Your right to be ready for both, but keep constant communication about how you really feel.
Again, get some marriage counseling.
2006-07-12 20:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by ml_fiore_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a man can be faithful after being with someone else (the term cheating implies a game is being played anyway) , but it would take alot of work. I'm talking lifestyle changes bigtime. Don't listen to "Baby baby please." if he's not going to back it up with some other changes like counceling etc.. If you love him, try. If he loves you he'll do the same. If not you guys are better off knowing the truth and not spending 20 years living a lie. Good luck.
2006-07-12 21:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would move on. But I am not you, and I don't know the entire situation. You are worth more than how he has treated you. You deserve someone who will treat you with love and respect. If he apologizes and you forgive him, then continue to work it out. This is a test of how strong your relationship is and will become. He could be faithful, or he could not. If you truly love him, give him a second chance, but if he fails you again I wouldn't stick around waiting for him to change. You can't change who he is deep down. If he truly loves you and he sees you leave, maybe that will be a wakeup call for him.Listen to your heart and don't waste your life or energy worrying. If you believ in a higher deity, I urge you to pray. Also, talk to your closest friends and family and ask their advice; they will have a clearer mind and a different perspective for the situation.
2006-07-12 20:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Schnickle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that some men can change, but some just don't. It all depends on who you're dealing with. Obviously you know him much better than anyone else answering this question, so evaluate him over time, and see what happens.
Marriage counselling helps a lot.
Put your complete trust in him and let what happens happen.
2006-07-12 20:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by tropical_sunrise1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to be with someone after they have cheated on you and lost your trust. Although your husband may never cheat on you again, the idea will always be at the back of your mind, you will always be suspicious. You may try to forgive him, but you will never be able to forget. It might take time, if he is willing to be completely honest with you, you just need to decide if your willing to forgive him and trust him again.
2006-07-12 20:52:12 · answer #7 · answered by Sappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man can change. Always keep your eyes open to what's going on in your relationship regardless, but if you don't think you can rebuild the trust, you might want to seek professional help. Hopefully you'll be able to make it work, but if, for whatever reason, you can't, you'll know you did everything you could before you gave up on someone you obviously loved enough to marry.
2006-07-12 20:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by x_chynadoll814_x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think once someone cheats, especially a man you have to accept that they could do it again. If you can live with that knowledge and still want to take a chance, then you should stay. If you can't live with it then it is time to move on.
2006-07-12 20:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend has done this to me early in our relationship and would like to my face about it. I seen text msgs that made my heart drop to my stomach and everything in between. We broke up after 2 years and he was with one of the girls he talked to shortly after and it hurt. But i made myself look as if it didn't bother me, i went out with friends, seen other guys, and acted as if i moved on. Right when i was almost completely moved on, he wanted me back. I made him beg for me. I didnt just take him right back. But since the breakup i noticed a completely different man. No more scary text msgs. No more, nothing. But I still worry about something like that ever happening again, and I worry about him having feelings for that girl still. It has been another year since we've been back together and he proposed and I said yes. And he still seems to be a better guy. Should i be worrying about what I worry about? or am i just causing myself harm?
2014-03-20 00:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible for a man who has cheated to rerform, especially if it was a one time fling. If you love your husband, give him the benefit of the doubt, and a second chance, and hope he is sincere about his remorse.
2006-07-12 20:50:31 · answer #11 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋