" A Lonely Walk"
Walking down the road of heartache, I sometimes see you standing there with your arms open wide, as if to say there's no need to cry, It will be alright. Just as I'm about to feel the warmth of your embrace, you disappear without a trace. Then I realize you weren't there at all, you were only in my mind, but from time to time , I still see you standing there waiting for me, as I pass knowing you're not standingin the grass. I won't look back to see if your there. I don't think my heart could take the pain of your face disappearing, so I'll keep on walking, walking until I have no place to go, and no matter what I do, or where I go, Memories of you are not enough to heal the the heartache I feel as I walk along this road of Dreams and Heartache.
2006-07-12 13:38:59 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Very heartfelt.. sounds like it came from a deep personal space and it draws the reader, especially those of us with broken hearts into it.... for I think we can put ourself there and that is the sign of a great poem...
Keep it coming from the heart... I find that is when I write my best poetry.
2006-07-12 13:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I write poems too! So as a critic the only thing I would change is the grass part it don't fit, in fact it appears you were looking for something that rhimed and you really didn't need it. Your peom is very good.
2006-07-12 13:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by Alone again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sweet, filled with longing. Keep expressing yourself through writing and telling the stories that only you can tell.
2006-07-12 13:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Pushy Buttafly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its pretty good except a couple of things are not related to what is written before them, and didnt really understand this part " knowing you're not standingin the grass. "
2006-07-12 13:42:47 · answer #4 · answered by badboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice. Keep writing. Good Luck.
2006-07-12 13:41:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Grudge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u go girl/boy u got much talent God has truely anointed u with that talent in all that u do give Him the praise u should consider writing a book u'll make millions i'll buy 'em all promise!!!!!!
2006-07-12 14:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by stacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is really good.I would love to see your poem in a book.You should have a path leading to poetry in the open.
2006-07-12 13:44:57 · answer #7 · answered by The One 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a very good poet! A poem genius! I may also write poems but your great! It reminds me so much of the people who love me =).
2006-07-12 13:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by pdszamora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i LOOOOOVE it! if you were a famous poet, i will be your BIGGEST fan! because you gave good details where the reader can FEEL and PICTURE what you are saying. it was so sad that i even felt your pain when you were walking alone. keep it up!
sincerely,
your BIGGEST fan!
2006-07-12 13:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Brittany♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now U should write a whole book of poetry.
That's cool.
2006-07-12 13:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋