Can you help me?

Question

How do I get my boyfriend to get up off the coach and helpme with our son?

Answer 1

Tell him what you want and need, clearly and simply. Don't fight. Just tell him. You teach people how to treat you. You better set the expectation right the first time or you will live a life of frustration at your own hand. You are not a single parent, and when he agreed to be in a relationship with you, and create a child, he in essence agreed to share in all of the parenting that goes along with it -- good, bad, monotonous, exciting and everything in between for the rest of your lives. That's the deal -- plain and simple. If he's too immature to step up to the plate, get counseling and make it work. You'll all be better off for it instead of looking back with regret in 30 years. Whatever you do, don't fight about stuff in front of the kids -- it's no good. Your question may not be that serious, but little things like getting no help around the house can easily blossom into big things like I'm just not happy anymore before you know it. Good luck.

Answer 2

I feel bad for you. Not only do you have a young son....but a 'boyfriend'. Let me put it to you as my college proff. put it to us in class----you can not make young people DO anything, the motivation needs to come from within them, they are the only ones that have the power to 'behave' or 'not behave'. You can however set up a situation that rewards good behavior and punishes bad behavior.

If he wants to act like a child, perhaps it is time for you to learn from educators what Behavior Management is.

I will also say that if this is his attitude as your 'boyfriend' I wouldn't be too quick to make him a 'husband'. And honestly, I would never have had a child before I was at the point where I would have made him a 'husband' but that is just my take on it.....

Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free?

Answer 3

Have you tried making specific requests? It seems to me that just asking a guy to watch the baby, or give me a hand with the baby doesn't work. They seem to think that watching the baby is something you can do while watching the television. Maybe if you make your requests more specific like, could you bathe the baby now, or could you read this book to the baby. I don't know if this will work for you, but it can't hurt to try.

Answer 4

If you feel that the child will be safe, leave the house for an errand and don't come back for hours. He will be forced to take care of your child and hopefully he will realize how hard it is to raise a child. If you don't feel safe doing that, start to ask him to do really small stuff in the beginning and increase "chores" as time goes on.

Answer 5

give him the baby and leave for a couple of hours he only sits on the coach and does nothing because he know you are there to do it i had to do the same thing it worked for me

Answer 6

It's been 3 years since I gave birth, and I'm still trying to figure that out. Some men just don't care I guess.

Answer 7

simple if you spend all your time taking care of his child then you have no time for anything else. house looks like crap oh well you were to busy taking care of the baby that needs constant care, he's hungry let him fix it. he will eventually get the picture if he cares enough if not then that a different problem. you have one child to care for, do not need 2. he'll grow up

Answer 8

Clean the couch before he gets home so it's damp and uncomfortable to sit on.

Answer 9

I don't think you can MAKE him do anything, but if I were you I would think long and hard before I had another child with Mr. Wonderful.

Answer 10

He's on the coach??? Like his football coach? or the couch?