I love my husband very much but its just not working out. what should i do?

Question

we're constantly fighting between small things. sometimes its just about nothing. I'm trying to work it out somehow but its just getting worse day by day. I know that most of the fighting is due to me. But he should try to understand me more. He doesnt try to do anything to make this marriege work.

Answer 1

It's time to see a marriage counselor. You need a mediator to help you see what the disputes are really about. You need a coach to teach you how to communicate and to argue in a healthy way.

Answer 2

Hi :)

Well ... I'm in the same boat as you are. My husband and I are constantly argueing over something! It's always small things that don't really seem to matter much. He is annoyed by everything I do, and I am annoyed by everything he does. I've been looking for answers to try to make my marriage work and I found some excellent information that I'd love to share with you! :) Send me an email and I'll reply with the information. It's a bunch of tips and tricks on how to make a marriage work. It gives information about how men and women (married couples) can learn to understand eachother better.

Hope to hear from you soon ... :) ~ Chrissy

Email >>> [e-mail]


PS - I'm sorry, but I do not agree with the previous answer above.
The 1st reason is because not everyomne can afford counseling sessions with a professional. That's defintily a luxury in today's society. The second reason is because a marriage is a unite between 2 people, so why would just one person go to counseling and try to fix what 2 people have caused? If I were you, I would not go to marriage counseling alone. That will not help your husband. Instead, it may cause you to feel angry because you are trying to make it work, and he isn't.

Also, I have a hard time believing that the problem in your marriage is "YOU". I think that it takes two to tango and both
the man and the woman need to somehow come together and work it out. Please take my advice and allow me to send you the information I have on " How to make a marriage work ".

I know how empty you must feel ... If you want to chat, please feel free to IM me anytime or email me. :)

Answer 3

I believe that if both parties still love each other, you can work things out. Otherwise, it will be getting no where. So you have to identify whether or not he loves you in the first place and vice versa.

Try doing things together, go for a holiday or something and see how things work out. Most of the time these fightings are due to lack of commitment and understanding.

Otherwise, try taking a break apart to actually be able to see the whole relationship from outside of it. Something must be causing all these.. you just got to idnetify it.

God Bless

Answer 4

Yes, we all know that being married can be like placing a 4 year old into the cockpit of a 747. For men, too. It's normal to ask this question. Every married person does this. Stick with it as long as there is no abuse or adultry. Relax. You will get to a happy medium. Really. It just takes alot of time. Things work themselves out. Give it time. In the mean time, today go rent a movie or take yourself shopping. Make yourself happy.
Also, love will be expressed and refreshed as the environment promotes it. You know that environment. It has to be safe to come out. Once it is, then it will.

Answer 5

If you honestly love him..then hunker down and figure out what you are trying to get him to understand and see if you are explaining clearly so he can understand or are you explaining in an emotional fit. To men this will make a difference. I have no idea why... if the information is the same but it does!

Possibly bring in an impartial bystander to help with the situation (a councelor, dear friend, pastor). Explain your side of the story to them. Then ask your hubby for a sit down chat with you and the friend.

Start by saying that a few things seem to be "snagging" the relationship and that for some reason you must be choosing words or emotions that are not registering with him. That it is so important to you that you are going to use someone else to try to "word" your complaints in the hopes that the issues can be resolved. You are using this method because you love him so much but that you see these issues as a hinderance to your possibilities for a happy marriage. And let your aid "plead your case" for you with as few interruptions by you as possible.

Sometimes men will hear our words best if they come out of someone elses mouth

I wish you the best.

Answer 6

Well i had the same problem a few months ago we would find any little reason to start a fight especially me in my case it was because i was holding something inside. I wouldnt let him know what was really bothering me and he didnt let me know what was bothering him so we both sat down and talk wich was so easy to do we let evrything out and we both knew how we felt so we try helping each other. Sometimes you only need to talk or sometimes you need counseling or etc. it all depends but dont give up on youre husband you are both one united and you need eachother to make it work and there are going to be bad times and good times thats what is all about youll work it trough.

Answer 7

It sounds like you and your husband have reached an impasse. You've tried to fix it on your own and it hasn't worked. Now is the time for the 2 of you to go to marriage counseling. From what you are saying you are still willing to work on it. You still love him. Those are good things and give you a basis to make it work with professional help. If he refuses to go, go by yourself. If nothing else, you will gain some insight into your own behavior, especially since you feel the fighting is due to you.

Sit down with your husband when you are both calm, with no distractions. Tell him how very much you love him and want your marriage to work. That you feel that what you've been doing up till now isn't working and you'd like for the 2 of you to go to marriage counseling. That you know you are responsible for some of the problems in your marriage and you feel counseling will help sort it out.

Please call a counselor tomorrow. I pray you and your husband are both willing to do the work it will take to heal your marriage and make it stronger. God bless!

Answer 8

Ask yourself, "What is the cause of our fighting?". Is it money, jobs, sex, friends and family, or something else. Both of you sit down and have a calm, rational discussion on why. If most of the fighting is due to you, are your reasons for fighting sound, or looking for attention?
After thirty years of marriage I have learned two things.
1. If you smack a dog enough for trying to lay on your lap he will learn to stay on the floor.
This could be the reason why you say he does not try to make the marriage work.
2. The best part of arguing is making up!
Self explanatory.
The best of luck to the both of you.

Answer 9

My favorite thing Oprah once said is that it isn't usual the little stuff that is truly bothering us but something deeper. You need to figure out why you are letting the little stuff get to you. If you love him, don't bail because of spats, figure out why, fix it together and work hard. Never say someone "should try" to do something. Figure out how you can help him understand you. It takes two to fight and to save a marriage, but mostly change in yourself then maybe he will follow from your example. If he sees you willing to work then maybe he will.

Answer 10

If most of the fighting is because of you, maybe you better sit down and revieew the situation with a fine tooth comb.