Is it right for my husband to want watch another couple have sex while we do it??? I think its not right, but I want to make him happy. I am a christian and have made my own mistakes in the past. This is really hurting me bad because I know whats right. I have let him know but he still is curious on how other REAL people sound and look like.
2006-07-12 12:33:18 · 21 answers · asked by **What??** 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He love me to death but It hurts me so much.
2006-07-12 12:35:16 · update #1
If you know whats right then do it.Tell him that you are not happy watching that and there are other ways to add excitement.If he really cares, then he's willing to change .But if you tell him that it hurts you and hes not willing to change then he don't care about the way you feel.The past is the past and your sins were forgiving so let the past go.Deal with now and pray for him
2006-07-12 12:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not right for your husband to want to do that. And if he is a Christian also, then he should not be asking you to, and should be asking the Lord for forgiveness and strength to over come this weakness. Don't let him manipulate you into doing that. IT'S NOT RIGHT! We have all made mistakes in the past, but our sins have been forgiven and are to be remembered no more. The Bible doesn't go into great detail about what is "allowed" in the marriage bed, and there is a reason for that.... it is up to both partners, and if one is not comfortable with something, then it would be a sin to do it. But the Bible does speak of a few things that are forbidden, and pornography is definitely one of them.
I don't know how old you are, but if he is old enough to be having sex, I'd venture to say, he already knows what other people sound and look like. What's up with the "real" thing???? You two are real. Geeze!!!
Here are a few scriptures, I hope they help you out.
Galatians 5:19
"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery"
Galatians 5:18-20 (in Context) Galatians 5 (Whole Chapter)
Ephesians 5:3
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
Ephesians 5:2-4 (in Context) Ephesians 5
Stay strong.
2006-07-12 19:49:01 · answer #2 · answered by addicted2stamping 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it is right or wrong, but if it is hurting you, then it is wrong. You say you told him & he is still curious, perhaps you need to sit down & discuss a compromise, He can watch them, but not when the 2 of you are making love. If you are just having sex, then perhaps you married the wrong man! At any rate, he sounds like a sex addict & he probably has had problems performing in the past. He sounds like he needs to be disconnected from his partner by pretending to be the guy in the video or possibly the female! He could also be reliving a sexual episode in his life when this actually happened (2 couples) & he needs it to stimulate him. You 2 need to talk.
2006-07-12 19:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is lacking self confidence in the bedroom. He thinks that other couples via real life or on tape are ahving a so much more interesting sex life then him that he figures that by watching others while you two do it, he can imitate them with the same results thereby making him feel like a superman or whatever in the bedroom. Having you there instead of cheating on you makes me agree that hes madly in love with you, but like most men, wether they admit it or not, lack a little selfconfidence in the bedroom. As for your christain values, what goes on between husband and wife should remain their business and no one elses and should not be seen nor heard by others. This doesnt sound like your husband has a problem unless he forces you to do so and continues on for more. good luck
2006-07-12 19:45:17 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are no longer going to consider doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. A married couple that love each other should not ask their partner anything that they know is going to hurt the other. You don't have to do that to make him happy. He should never ask you again since it bothers you so much. I hope this helps.
2006-07-12 19:49:52 · answer #5 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you. It hurts you. There is a clear line there. He should honor your feelings over his curiousity. Is his curiousity a cause of unfaithfulness? or is it something natural? Same for you, is your hurt because of what people have told you and what you think others would say? or is it truely disturbing to you? Figure out how YOU truely feel, not how others want you to feel, and ask him where he bases this desire? Maybe it is innocent, maybe not. Bottom line though is if you are really uncomfortable, don't do it and he should love you regardless.
2006-07-12 19:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Consultant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being christian has nothing to do with it.... your husband is a sex addict, or just crude...... Love making is a private thing, of sensuality, of giving, and of forming a loving, supportive bond... of physically pleasing someone and at times asking nothing in return. Love making can be a massage, with warm oil, then your mate covers you with a blanket and lets you sleep. Love is not an orgy.....but rather, It is the expression of total adoration for one's mate. Your husband is into raw, screwing.... animals do that, people do not. Tell him to grow up.....
2006-07-12 19:42:12 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's curious... buy him a training tape...
The guy doesn't really love you... he needs you so he can partake in some perverted fantasy he has with another couple...
He has serious problems... and selfish reasoning...
If you intend on remaining a Christian, dump this guy or get him to change his ways... That will show where his real love lies... and that's in himself and his twisted way of treating his wife...
All this is doing is causing you hurt... and it doesn't bother him one bit...
2006-07-12 19:49:06 · answer #8 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sj. with out trying to sound like a bible thumper or anything but be a christian lady and covet your marriage as you have been told. if your husband is a christian aswell he will have to understand. SJ one pervertion will lead to the next and before you know it pervertions will destroy a marriage quicker then anything else. now for your bedroom only between husband and wife they sell porno tapes of real life couples if he needs to see somone else , but even that has consiquences that become hard to live with in time . pray pray pray he will answer you. good luck SJ
2006-07-12 19:45:16 · answer #9 · answered by joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not ok for him to do it if it hurts you so much. What does it mean "REAL" people? YOU are a real person and your feelings matter. He probably won't understand(mine didn't, until we divorced). Read Matt 5:27-28.
I hate porn with a passion because it does nothing good in people's hearts. My husband lied to me from the beginning that he hated porn because he was so afraid of losing me , and he lost me anyway because of his lies. I will pray for you for guidance and for your husband to have compassion for your feelings in this matter. God bless you
2006-07-12 20:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋