my bf and i got back together after breaking up come to find out a girl he was with while we were broke up is claiming to be pregnant he doesnt want anything to do with her just the baby he said he just wants to be a father to this kid and then be able to love me he has talked about getting married but im not sure if hes serious what do you think i should do let him be a great father and be there to support him im afraid hell go to her cause she might be having his first child help plz should i stay there since i love him so much trust me this is true love how do i trust him he has this girls number in his phones but says he doesnt talk to her help me
2006-07-12 12:25:56 · 33 answers · asked by turtlesducky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Of course you should stay with him! Would you prefer if he didnt give a damn? Would you prefer if he pretended he doesn't have a child? That means he's a good person! If he's with you its because he loves you, and if its hard on you, its hard on him too. You should be there, suporting him, instead of living him. If you love him you gotta trust him too. I can't see the reasons of your doubts. Anyway, tell him the way you feel, its never good to hide our feellings.
2006-07-12 12:31:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is two fold you need to remember that the power merely is only a show. If you use this example-when a gorilla wants a female gorilla they bang on there chest as loud and as hard as they can to show the girl he has what it takes to protect her.
If this man has impregnated this femwle than just do not get married untill the following has been done.
The Baby is Born, Do a peterninty test to ensure he is the dad. Then wiat till after the baby is born, Marrige is sacred should only be done 1 time if he loves you and you love him time will tell. If he fits the build bellow he is a keeper and stick it ou. If he does not fit the description bellow, Please cut your losses pick up the peices. Wait 1-3 months before you have sex with anouther man, and then move on. If men want you bad enough they will wait. Love is forever Marrige is just a leagal term for he/she gets half during a divorce the marrige licence is only a leagle document you can look eachother in the eye say will you be true to me till the day I day and if the answer is yes that is commitment.
So finally if he fits the bellow You Go....
In some cases, it is just a game. I believe if the man is tough only when necessary he is not putting on a show. If the man buys you flowers, he is sweet. If opens the car door for you he is a gentleman. If he has a dependable car, he is responsible. If he has a good job he is hardworking and disciplined, If has been on his current job for more than 2 years he is focused, if he calls you after the date and said he had a great time and do you think we can do it again some day he is comfortable with you. This is worth keeping... Just remember living together changes things sharing checking account's make it challenging and going on a long well planned road trip (only if u have a good cell phone and someone knows where your going and that you will stay in touch) a road trip is a great started to a long term commitment for the future... The theory here is if you can get a long real well dating, and think you would like to take it to the next level, than a car ride for about 6-8 hours you will inevitably start to really know one another. You need to make sure you are going to do something that you both like (activities)....
2006-07-12 12:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if his relationship (if that) with this other girl was nothing then maybe he is telling the truth about the way he feels, I mean you both got back together and he was honest enough to tell you about the other girl and what is going on. Obviously he is still crazy about you. Second, if the other girl is claiming and both are not sure that the baby is his, he needs to make sure that there is a blood test that is conducted to make sure that he is the father of that baby and if not, then you two can go on with your lives. Next, if you love him that much to inquire help with your situation then that shows that this is a big deal to you and you have to let him know and talk about it, no holds barred. The fact that he has the number is to probably make sure he can get a hold of her to get more details about the baby if needed. Lastly, the rest comes down to you, and if your heart tells you to stay with him and support him (not financially speaking, of course) or if it tells you to let him be. Communication is the big key right now.
2006-07-12 12:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll admit this is a difficult one. But I think you already know the answer. He needs to be a father hands down, no ifs, ands, or buts. But that doesn't mean he needs to be with the mother of the child. Know that he will always have something to do with her because that is his child's mother. Understand this and figure out if you can deal with it. If not stop reading and end the relationship. If you can deal keep reading.
If you love him and you feel that he loves you I think that you should tell him that you need him to give up the numbers in the phone because you have a problem with it. If he can't give a little more in this time of need maybe you need to take some more time off!!
2006-07-12 12:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by toobadfaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have noticed that relationships that are off and on never finally work out. you do need to stop and think about this rationally though. Weigh the pros and cons of your relationship. There is a very strong bond between children and parents. If she really is pregnant and you two stay together, this is going to be on our mind for however long you are together. She might have even got prego to keep him with her. It has been known to happen. So again, if she is prego, this questioning you have is going to keep going, and going. You can either trust what he is saying and stay with him, or don't and break up with him. because you shouldn't be with someone that you don't trust, that will drive you batty.
2006-07-12 12:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always do what your heart say. Your heart will never steer you wrong. Another thing if you decide to be with him never take him away from his child, because how would it make you feel. Just getting back 2gether and he already wants to get married, I would put it off, try getting engaged first. If that work then make it official. As for the other girls numbers, why are they there if he don't talk to them. If his whole intention is to be with you and make you happy he'll erase them with no problem. Good Luck...
P.S she might even be pregnant, she might just be claiming it thinking that he'll come back..Why I don't know... Again Good Luck
2006-07-12 12:32:51 · answer #6 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have the upper hand. it's your decision regardless of what we all say. you know best of how your relationship is. if you really love him, then stay w/ him and be there to support his decision. if not, then leave. don't do something that you'll later regret. take your time figuring things out and making sure it's really what you want. do you trust him? does he want to be with you? do you want this relationship enough to accept everything he's done without having it to cause any problems between you two in the future? nobody can change or control the way you feel so you need to think things over and be sure.
2006-07-12 12:30:02 · answer #7 · answered by bcbebe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember, love or no love, this other woman- mother of his child will be in your life as long as he is. if you can except that then i suggest you work on a relationship with her because in the end it is the baby who counts. now if you are still having trust issues and think that your man will go back to her then maybe it is not true love just scared to be without you love. without trust there is and never will be anything but sadness.
2006-07-12 12:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by ecatrich 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sort of unhappy already and feel like needing some advice..
Now just dont think the situation will improve!
As soon as the honeymoon phase is over and things between you and him become a routine, he will be off seeking a new thrill!
That other girl be be a constnt pain in the asz to you - so why waste your time on this?
2006-07-12 12:31:25 · answer #9 · answered by ganja_claus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a touchy situation. If she is having his child, then it is great that he wants to be man and take care of that child, a lot of guys would just try and was there hands of it and not be responsible for their actions.
If you love this guy, then you should belive him and give him a chance. It is not garanteed, but nothing in life is. You may get hurt, but you may live happily ever after. It is just something you have to take a chance with and follow your heart.
I hope this helps
2006-07-12 12:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by russell97yzf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with him since you love him...but dont do anything you are not ready to do!!! (gettting married) Let him be a father, but make sure that he really is the father first!! You will know what's best for both of you!!!
2006-07-12 12:29:16 · answer #11 · answered by MaDiSoN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋