i am thinking having a baby with my boyfriend who recently asked me to marry him i am only sixteen turning seventeen in two months and i want to know wat you guys think is it to early to have a kid and get married between the ages of 17 and 18. i need help PLZ.
2006-07-12 12:21:35 · 22 answers · asked by tantanchips05 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i love this guy he loves me and we have been together a year. i have nevre felt this way about anyone before and he is the one i can tell and i am gettin married to him in 2008 we are planning the wedding now why is it so bad i am a nurse in trainging in Yr 12 i finsih in november. and will have my cert 3 in aged care by the end of the year i dont see why it is so bad i love him and want kids and i am not the party type and i never go out on friday nights or weekends so why do so many think it is so bad
2006-07-12 12:50:48 · update #1
i love this guy he loves me and we have been together a year. i have nevre felt this way about anyone before and he is the one i can tell and i am gettin married to him in 2008 we are planning the wedding now why is it so bad i am a nurse in trainging in Yr 12 i finsih in november. and will have my cert 3 in aged care by the end of the year i dont see why it is so bad i love him and want kids and i am not the party type and i never go out on friday nights or weekends so why do so many think it is so bad
2006-07-12 12:51:43 · update #2
I got pregnant when I was 16 had my first child when I was 17. I knew I was going to marry him to. I've had three kids with him and will be married for 10 years in December. I don't think it is to young if you are mature. good luck Sweetheart.
2006-07-12 12:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by miranda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If my g/f at the time wouldn't have gone behind my back and done something I am totally against when I was 13 I would have a 10yr old right now. I would also not be able to support it in any way, because a car accident debilitated my ability to go out and get a steady job until I get out of college and become a counselor. You must always look towards the future and try to foresee what may occur. I would've missed 3 months off my child's life thanks to a coma, but the child is not here. So to make an already too long of a story shorter, think before you act because the end result isn't always the way you want it to turn out to be.
2006-07-12 19:41:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with him?
Why would you want to have a baby now? Wouldn't you rather enjoy married life as a couple before a baby demands all of your time and attention?
Aren't you planning on having a career? Do you have any personal goals?
It sounds like you are trying to fill a void which is the WORST reason in the world to actually create another living being, one that depends on you and you are accountable to.
I think you should wait to a) have a baby and b) to get married. Why rush into anything? You have the rest of your life to be married or have babies. This is the time to enjoy your teenage years and freedom. Don't drag yourself down with adult responsibilities at this point.
And since 50% of marriages end in divorce... are you really in a position to look after a child alone? DO you have any employable skills? You need to get your own life together and be self-sufficient and independent before getting married or having a baby.
Besides, you are in a great time of your life... enjoy your freedom and the opportunities to travel, learn, study, work, go out with friends, etc. If you have a baby, you won't ever get any of that back and it will be a thousand times harder to get it together with a baby and all the responsibilities associated with that. Do you realize how hard it is to be a single mom with no education trying to raise a child. You don't KNOW what difficult is.
Hon, enjoy this special time in your life. Spread your wings and experience life. Don't drag yourself down with adult responsibilities... there's plenty of time for that later.
edited to add: it sounds like you've made a lot of RIGHT decisions in your life and you are very motivated. Great!
I'd still wait to have a baby until you're self-sufficient (you're not yet and you'd disrupt your schooling if you got pregnant). And if you're planning to get married in 2008, I'd wait until after the marriage to think about having a baby, just to give yourself time to be sure that your relationship is solid then and looks enduring. And I also think it's important for a couple to have a LOT of time just as a couple, travel together, etc. A baby changes everything and really changes your focus. Spend this time deepening your relationship. After all, wants and needs change a lot between the teens and the twenties. What you think you want now could well be very different in your twenties. Yet the decision to have a baby is a very permanent one. Try getting a puppy first and see how demanding it is and how much responsibility it takes.
If that works out, then re-visit the baby decision. BTW, why do you want to have a baby before marriage anyway?
2006-07-12 19:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by lily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts???? What ARE you thinking.????????? You are still a child, and you think you want a child??? Oh, honey, you have no idea what you are about to do. Be prepared to be a single mom before you are 20, and there is no guy who will want to raise another man's child. You'll be a single mom a long time, staying home with a kid rather than out with your friends having a great time....Your life will be one of finanacial hardship, dirty diapers, depression, old apartments... yadaydaydada. Wake up. Have all the sex you want, (get on the pill sweetie, cheap complared to a months worth of diapers) but don't have a baby....... You asked..... There are rafts of women who felt the way you did at 16 who are now alone, raising a kid (or in the case of "slow learners" kids from several boyfriends...) trying to make ends meet on a job that pays next to nothing or on welfare that also pays nothing.......You want that life.????... feel for you sweetie. There is absolutely, positively NOTHING that turns a guy off faster than being a dad before he is ready.... The IDEA of haveing a child is just lovely, the actuality of it is cold, hard, early mornings,crying, tired, and trapped..... Hope you get your head on straight really soon....
2006-07-12 19:36:04 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not look at my answer as some old foggie answering, BUT PLEASE WAIT ON BOTH!!!!!!! You will regret both decisions forever! You are so young, have the world to explore, more growing up to do. Marriage is a huge lifetime committment and should not be something to do at your age. A baby is a really large responsibility. You will lose your independence, freedom, any chance of moving ahead in life right now. I say if you love him, he and you can wait. You will see if it is meant to be and you all give it another four years then it will mean a great deal more. Concentrate on your education, financial security and the future. You are living in the NOW, which is what most teenagers do, but believe me, I have tons of regrets trying to grow up too fast. I am 41 and I remember being your age, being so in love and the world seeming to revolve around just the two of us. There is so much you need to have in your heart and life before you can offer a child a stable life. A child will depend on you for everything and it is so worth it to wait. If he loves you he will wait!!!! You will be so much better for waiting, I PROMISE.
2006-07-12 20:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i do.
If you and yer boyfriend are planning on getting married, cool about ther marriage, but when you have a child the child needs all of the attention. Enjoy yer new marriage and life together with each other first for a couple of years....enjoy each other, then have yer children. Once yer do, yer life changes and you don't have that time for just you two.
You do not have to rush into it and just, like i said, take the first couple of years to enjoy each other and then start yer family.
Having a child is a wonderful thang , but it does tie ya down and you get so wrapped up in all of the care and time needed for the child you don't have that special time together all newly weds need. I hope this makes some kind of sense to you
gl in yer decision
be cool....
2006-07-12 20:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you live together and support just the 2 of you by yourselves with no help and pay the bills on time and have 2 cars that wont break down and have some money saved up so WHEN you do need the time off for having the baby there is still money to pay the monthly bills.
babies take all your time and they cry forever and for no reason.
they take lots of food and diapers and those costs as much as gas$3 /gallon.
i suggest you live with him when you get married and pay your bills.
and save your money and then be ready financially and emotionally ready for any baby.
just be 17yr and get your job lined up and go from this. when married you get to know more about each other and how to handle little disagreements before the baby arrives. at least 5yr before having the baby. and save all your money.
this way you wont be on welfare and be financially ready to pay dr bills and hospital bills. and baby things.
in 5yr, your jobs would be good and the finances will be set and you have the know-how to pay them and help your baby too.
and you can get out if need be, before having the baby.
2006-07-12 20:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do this - you are doing nothing but hurting the child! You are not mentally capable of being there to mentally support your child.
At 17 you do not know what you want in a man. You will probably want someone else in the next couple of years.
Slow down! Live for a while! When you have a baby - you no longer belong to yourself. You belong to the child!
2006-07-12 19:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 17 and I encourage her to continue her education and get herself started on the right foot in Life....having a child that young is not right choice...getting married that young is not either...I can only tell you ..without a good education and a good job..you will struggle...having a child is a big responsibility ..if you think you can handle it..then go ahead...but I always discourage my daughter to do that and instead finish college first and get ready for the future....Good Luck
2006-07-12 19:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by celine8388 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its too young I was 21 and that is too young and I had a job a car and alot of family to help in any way i needed yes TOO YOUNG ...get married wait 3-4 years let that be for the 2 of you then talk about a baby
2006-07-12 19:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋