I need advice! Help!?

Question

Ok, I have to go to camp with my team. Now, the girl that I am rooming with I have known for a long time. But about half way into the school year last year, she became bisexual. Like, she went out with girls (you know the whole kissing, holding hands, grabing butt.... yuck). Not that I have any problem with them, but I perfer to hang out with straight people, like myself. Anyway, I just found out a few days ago that she turned full gay. Like, not even going out with boys anymore and strikley girls. And I don't want to sound cocky or stuck up or full of myself or anything, but I feel a little aquword rooming with her. Because we will be changing infront of each other and everything, and I don't like that. And I feel really bad about feeling this way, because she is a really nice person and I don't want to act like I am so full of myself that she is in love with me. Because she might not even like me like that, but I don't know. What do I do to feel more comfortable rooming with her?

Also, I can't cange my roomy or me being straight.

Ok, bluemargarita dude. No. Perv! I am straight and stick to my boys. SORRY!!!!

Ok, I'm not so tense about the whole changing thing, because I am used to that. It is just the whole sleeping alone with her, being alone with her, and not knowing what she is thinking (not trying to be cocky again).

Also, I don't think that she knows that I know that she is gay (she knows I know she was bi).

Answer 1

Question for you - are you attracted to every guy that you see? Then you should know that lesbians are not attracted to every female they see. As long as she's aware that you're not interested in that sort of lifestyle then she shouldn't try to force it on you. I realize that it's not easy to be in a room with someone who is different from you, but it may turn out to be better than you think and open your eyes to a few things. You may find that it's OK to be friends with someone who is a lesbian. Guys and girls have platonic relationships all of the time, so can a straight girl and a lesbian girl.

I'm not saying it won't be weird at all, but if you try to go into it open minded and instead think of her like a boy it might not be as weird.

OK and now I'm playing Devil's Advocate - there are ways to change where you don't have to show much skin. Practice that (like taking your bra off under your shirt) and maybe it won't be so bad.

Good luck.

Answer 2

If you want to feel more comfortable rooming with her, then you need to get over some of your issues. Besides her sexual preference, has anything else about her changed? I'm guessing the answer is no - she's still the same person you've known for a long time and who I imagine, you've had some great times with at camp. So, did you have issues changing in front of her before? Probably not. If you found out that she has ZERO interest in you, and only likes you as a friend, how is your relationship any different than it was 3 years ago? It isn't!!! So - I would guess that most of your fear/stress is over her finding you attractive.... so get that issue out of the way as quickly as you can.

Tell her you want to talk to her, tell her how you feel and how you value her friendship and that you respect her and her decision to be herself. Then joke that this means more boys for you! (which should make her laugh and tell her that you are not gay in one shot!)

Chances are that she's not interested in you at all and you're stressing for no reason! Don't let it ruin your friendship!

Good Luck!!

Aloha!

Answer 3

you have a good point. i'm straight but i'm glad to see you not saying "omg she's such a freak. what do i do?" you seem like a really down-to-earth person.

i wouldn't change in the bathroom because if you want to be her friend and she doesn't even LIKE you more than a friend that may offend her. i see where it can be awkward, so i think what you should do is that when your changing (this only works for changing pants) take off your pants and use the pants you just took off and put them in front of your legs (kinda like a shield) and while you're putting on new ones you STILL hold those other pants in front of you. for your top, there's really nothing you can do. just try to change as quickly as possible. obviously socks aren't a problem, but if you need to change underwear then go behind a bed or something. if she asks why your hiding just say that you got a really bad scrape on your stomach and it's REALLY nasty looking. if she's one of those weirdos that ask you if she can see the scrape then just plainly say that you don't feel comfortable staring at your injury.

hope this helps. you're in a tough situation, so there's not much you can do to improve it.

Answer 4

If she is so wonderful then have a chat with her. Let her know you are straight and let it be. I am sure you can find another place to change or wait till she is somewhere else. Why do so many people have a phobia with this issue. If she comes onto you then that is a different story but the majority of the gays and lesbians know the boundaries and they will leave you alone. Just think, you could be rooming with a straight girl who doesn't bath or something. Hehehehehe.

Answer 5

I understand you being worried and feeling a little awkward sharing your room knowing she is into girls. If I were you- Id just do things all like u normally do. Keep your chin up- dont let her know it bothers you and enjoy camp! She may be gay but it doesnt mean YOU are her type. She doesnt like ALL girls just like you dont like ALL boys ya know what I mean? She is still a person with feelings and should not be treated badly because of this. Its probably tough as heck for her right now and that would really mess it up for her! If she DOES hit on you- explain you are into GUYS! If she hits on you sexually THEN you have full rights to change your room! Good luck and have fun

Answer 6

There is no need to be judgemental toward her. Just tell her simply and plainly that you wnat to make a change.

You didn't indicate whether there is a lease and connecting agreement between the two of you. If the lease is in your name give her a decent amount of time to find another place but don't leave it open ended. Something like: by August 31 or talk to me sooner if it isn't going to happen.

There is nothing wrong with changing room-mates. Don't feel guilty. Room-mates are changed for many reasons.

Answer 7

just lay out some ground rules to start with, like no touchy feely in the room and no dressing naked in the full view of each other except with panties and bra still on! and no flirting or trying to make a move on each other, by all means be nice, most of the time very few straight girls even attract lesbians! just have fun at camp!

Answer 8

Sounds like you have a problem. I'm sure there is a bathroom where you can change and she won't have to see you. If she is a nice person and you are straight, then you have nothing to worry about. Just let her know that you aren't into her lifestyle and would appreciate it if she didn't make you feel uncomfortable about the situation

Answer 9

How would you feel about rooming with a guy friend? (This is strictly hypothetical to put it in perspective.) She is probably as nervous and sensitive about it as you are. My friends who are gay are very respectful of straight people and never try to "convert" them. Just change clothes as discreetly as possible (maybe in the bathroom)? And don't worry about it. You will be dealing with diversity the rest of your life. Just do the best you can. This will be a funny story when you get to college.

Answer 10

Well, the best advice I can say is take it as it comes, if she knows you well enough to know that you are not that way then she should respect you enough to leave you alone. If you are still uncomfortable about changing in the room with her just ask her if she wouldn't mind turning away, if you feel guilty about asking tell her you're just shy. If it comes to a confrontation, tell her how you are feeling, if she's as nice as you say then she should understand how you feel.

Good luck hun.