been best of friends with a guy and fell in love he says the moment has passed for him and I'm confused?

Question

I am earl 40's and not starry eyes teenager (no offence to any teens reading this) became friends with a man who I felt after couple of dates that we could only be "friends" over 17 months we have become so close and I have discovered in him so many wonderful things. we love the same things we go out together we holiday together we share so many personal things we speak on phone and text every day and we tell each other we love each other often and we have so much fun together we are always connected in someway holding hands or snuggled up to watch great movie he's so special and I have grown to be deeply in love but I dared to bring subject up of supposing we/I/he had at any time wanted to take it further but were scared in case it damaged the very deep and wonderful relationship we have so stayed silent but hoped and he said that he had been in love but as I had said only friends in the early days he respected that and had put the idea away. I asked him if he was sure and he said YES

my male friends say why spend so much time with a woman if you dont love her and I feel thats true in the 17 months we have known each other we have both dated and found we preferred each other and he's introduced me to his family and only son from previous marriage but only after 6 months so he could know that I was "good person" to be around his son. I find it hard to accept felt ten months ago that I had made mistake but was frightened to make 1st move and he said he had honoured my initial request and says this will never damage the deep friendship as we are too close but "its never going to happen" I am slim very attractive and have no problem with getting dates but this man I recognise 2 B quite unique and I cant imagine not sharing the rest of my life as his lover/best friend. I usually fall in lust and was being cautious now it seems over cautious + blew my chance have never felt what I feel when he hugs me or touches me and I am bereft 2 know we will neva be more than friends?

Answer 1

gir i know i did the same thing but being his friend is what is for the best at lest we can still cuddle with them and say what evey is going on with our day and thay will listen and all ways be there for us rember friends are hard to come bye

Answer 2

ok, even though you were never really together, your relationship is very similar to a couple that breaks up and then becomes friends later on down the road. the feelings are gone. even though you share so much in common, he knew that you would never work as a couple and let those feelings go. i recently came across a guy that i dates years ago. and even though i loved him very much back then, those feelings are long gone and will never come back. talk to him. hey, at least you always will have a great friend.

Answer 3

At least he's being honest. He felt it briefly but it's gone. Don't get your hopes up that there is a chance. One possibility: see if you can make him jealous. Talk about dating someone interesting. If that doesn't work, forget it. It will never be more than a friendship.

Answer 4

you see that's what Ive been saying to the missus all these years i see some chick i like and i do nothing about it i might miss the chance of a lifetime. and she thinks i do it just for the sex. but i know

Answer 5

I have a guy best friend who I love dearly. He let me know early on that he didn't get involved with his female friends, and I respect that. (*shrug*) I'd rather keep his friendship, but I also wouldn't sleep with him.

Answer 6

I am 42, if he is mature and you have a good solid relationship....he should be in love.. that is immature in saying the moment passed..

Answer 7

He no longer feels a rush of excitement being around you. There is nothing you can do.

Answer 8

you waited too long. he got over you in that way but still likes you as a friend with "benefits" sorry but he's just using you

Answer 9

is he gay?