Do you sleep with your newborn/infant in your bed?

Question

Our buddy is a cop and he asked us if our baby would sleep with us in bed. We said "no" as we didn't want her to get use to being in bed with us. Also, my husband sleeps so soundly, he doesn't even know when he has rolled onto me. So I asked our friend why he was asking and he said the week before they got a call from a family where the dad accidentally rolled over on their 2 week old son and the baby died. He assisted in processing the scene and it really impacted him. The family was very upset and the dad couldn't handle what he had done.

Our daughter slept in her pack-n-play for two months in our room before moving into her room, but wasn't sure what other reasons there are to have your newborn/infant sleep in bed with you.

Thank you for the variety of responses. In reading them all I have come to the conclusion that if you do it safely and the baby is correctly placed in a co-sleeper, instead of directly in the bed, then it should be safe enough. And as all of you have said, as a mom, your third ear and third eye is always open, so regardelss if they are in bed with you or in a bassinet 2 feet from you, you'll know if your child is okay. My fear of breastfeeding while asleep is still of rolling over the baby. If you don't sleep while they are feeding, then it doesn't matter if you have to get out of bed to get them 2' away to feed them. Yes, SIDS is a factor, however, would you feel more guilty if they died of SIDS or if you rolled over on them? And as for bonding, there is a ton of bonding time while feeding during the day and their alert time. I personally, just couldn't and wouldn't risk smothering my child. Thank you for all the great feedback.

Answer 1

I think you covered the most important one you can rool onto your child and boom SIDS. I have three and none of mine slept with me I didn't want them to get used to it them have to be seperate causing further anxiety. It also allows you to get a better peaceful nights sleep not having them with you in bed. I couldn't imagine a worst feeling than knowing you rolled onto your child and it could have been prevented just by putting them in a pack and play like you did.

Answer 2

My daughter has slept with us most of the time and she is now 11 months old. There are some saftey precautions to follow when having an infant in your bed. I would NEVER allow her to sleep next to her dad when she was small because men just don't have the motherly instincts and yes they do sleep too soundly. Most moms will tell you that they sleep with one eye open and wake at the baby's every move. You should also not co-sleep if you are obese, using medication to help you sleep, or have been drinking alcohol or taking other drugs. Co-sleeping can be great if done correctly and if you ask around, more people than you think probably do it. There are also little beds you can buy that hook onto the side of your bed for the baby. That way they can sleep next to you but still be in their own bed.

Answer 3

I agree with professional..., above.

I have slept with my 7 month old baby from the very beginning. I couldn't do anything else. Yes, there are risks, but there are risks involved with everything, including putting her in the crib and letting her believe she was alone in the world.

Sometimes children die. It is a sad fact of life. It is something you have to come to grips with as a parent, that your child could die, even though you did the best you could. The key is to make the best, informed decision you can make and realize that bad things can still happen.

You definitely should NOT sleep with your child, however, if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol or are impaired in any way. And if, in your case, your husband does sleep soundly as you say, it is probably not a good idea. When my husband is really tired, my baby and I sleep in a separate bed from him.

When I had doubts, I remembered that every mammal in the world sleeps snuggled up with its parents. We have instincts for a reason.

Answer 4

my 2 month old sleeps with me only when daddy is not there. He works in another city 3 hrs away and is gone sometimes weeks at a time. Its hard when u take care a baby on your own to get up every time to have to run to another room to check on your baby. I get more sleep and the baby is safer as well because he get's strangled through the night on his spit up and i can roll over and tend to him rather quickly. When daddy is home he sleeps in a crib that is 5 ft away. That is why they caution family bedding a baby because that can happen. It's unfortunate but sometimes when your sleep deprived and alone its easier.You just have to be careful..

Answer 5

Yes, this is the risk of putting the little ones in the bed with you. Even so, many people still do it. Often, the baby sleeps better, there's that whole bonding thing. To me, none of that was worth it. The risk or roll over deaths or blanket suffocation is too great.

Answer 6

Well, my daughter slept with us a couple of times when she was sick, but I kept her on my side of the bed, I slept in between my husband and her, becuase, my husband also hard sleeper and very restless, so I let him roll over and hit me, rather than put our baby in the middle, and of course I ended up not getting much sleep and pushing my husband out of bed so as to give our daughter plenty of room. But other than those couple of times she only slept in her bassinet next to our bed, then finally the crib in her own room. I did not like having her in bed with us because it's so unsafe, accidents happen. So when our third baby came along, she has not once slept in our bed. I understand, midnight breast feeding, having the baby lay in bed with mom, but that's why they make the new co-sleepers cribs, to prevent this kind of thing from happening. The co-sleepers attatch to the edge of your bed and are enclosed on three sides, so they baby is essentially sleeping in their own bed, however midnight feedings are a litltle easier, mom just scoots over and scoots baby over towards her so they are both on the edge, baby can eat, mom can fall back to sleep and baby is still save in their bed without the risk of accidental roll overs.

Answer 7

I'm a military wife and when my son was born my husband was overseas he didn't meet our son until he was three months old so my son slept in his bassinet until he was one month then he slept with me in the bed until my husband came home now he sleeps in his own room in his crib all night, so I think it's really a personal choice for people it's just so sad that a baby had to die I'm sorry.

Answer 8

I could never let my babies sleep with me..Ever...They both slept in a bassinett beside my bed for 3 months then to their own rooms and crib. I had a stillborn son and the thought that i may cause one of my children to die is NOT an option for me. Their bed is safe pillow free. And no they are not alone in the world becouse i am there if and when they need me. i did sleep in the rocker recliner with my first one on occasion from exhaustion. he had colic

Answer 9

My son would never sleep by his self he would sream for hours i could not take that so i let him sleep with me and my husband. We were always very careful and very light sleepers anyway so he is now 2 and will go to sleep in his bed but always ends up in ours sometime in the middle of the night. This does hurt mama and daddy's time, sometimes , but we all enjoy the snuggles and bonding this gives!

Answer 10

I dont sleep with my new born but whene I go out of town I sleep with my baby next to me cause the the motel wouldnt provide a crib for a new born. Its really not safe to have the baby on the bed. Some people belive it will grow a closer bond with there child or he sleep thur the whole night . my new born sleep thur the whole night in his crib.

Answer 11

I wish that I had known better than to allow my son to sleep with my husband and I, when he was first born. I was breast feeding, and the only way for me to get any sleep, was to lay my son down next to me, and nurse him in bed- I know this is a major no no, but I was going crazy not getting any sleep!!! Aaron is now 18 months, and is put to bed in his own bed at night, however, he wakes up every night, to come to our bed!!! I'm paying for it now- even though part of me likes that he still needs me!!!