When both church and state label you as an abomination before God, where does the person fit in?

Question

Denied the right to marry because I was born transgendered, I am left feeling bewildered by a society that treats me as if I am a freak and by religious groups who view me as not worthy of God. I'm interested to see how others cope.

Answer 1

I'm going to assume you are American-you might not be. If you are though, remember its American culture thats 50 years behind the times. If you have the opportunity move to Europe, particularly Great Britain. they are much more forward thinking when it comes to GLBT social issues.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that you have experienced these problems in our troubled society.

It is important to realize that only some churches are the way you describe. My family attends the Unitarian Church because it specifically states on the church wall and bulletin that lesbian, gay, transgendered and bisexual people are welcome. I wouldn't want to attend a church that is discriminatory and hurtful.

The Church of Christ has a brilliant ad campaign that fights the discrimination you describe. You can view these uplifting ads on the church website along with lots of viewer comments that are supportive of you. I think it will be uplifting. The ads were banned by nearly all television stations. They are absolutely brilliant and though they weren't seen much, the current ad was voted as the best ad on an advertising website. Some people have said that the ad is the only 30 seconds on television worth watching.

Additionally the Episcopal Church has recently shown great leadership strength by appointing a female leader who is very supportive of having gays in leadership positions. This church is willing to sacrifice part of its membership in order to do the right thing.

The Methodist church recently allowed a gay minister to be openly gay and recently voted to support the Church of Christ ad program.

Things have been changing in your favor but there are so many frustrating setbacks.

As a straight person I don't value religions or states that treat you inappropriately. They are damaged and of no use to me either.

I'm a single parent, so I'm sure I get my share of discrimination as well, but I always look at the people who are discrimatory as troubled. They may think they are better than me, but I'm confident and I talk to many of them.

I live in a regular middle class neighborhood and I can tell you that there are no homes on my block with people not subject to discrimination. There is an alcoholic, me, a single guy, a single girl, an immigrant family, a divorced Chinese woman, a couple with a son who is the prime suspect in a murder, two divorced and remarried people, an African-American family, two divorced people who were married to each other but are now living together, two who are living together and a divorced person. The owners of the first house in the next cul-de-sac are gay. I don't see that you wouldn't fit in here.

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Answer 3

I'm a gay male, which does come with a completely different set of issues, and I try to acknowledge that.

That having been said, I live in a country where there's SOME hope of reaching the people, and reaching the government and enacting change. So right now I'm trying to educate myself about queer history; where we've been. And when I'm able, I'd like to help take us to where we're going. In the meantime, I live my life, take solace in a community that, so far, has been pretty good to me. If it's not to you, don't stop looking; cool people are out there.

I would say that if you're in the States, and identify as heterosexual, then the legal definition of "sex" varies state to state, and if you're somewhere along the way in transitioning (I know that's a lot of "if"s), there might be a state where you can indeed get married. In some states, you may choose to remain married when your legal sex changes.

Answer 4

The state is not supposed to label me as an abomination before God, because the state is supposed to be separate from the church, so, in doing so, the state has made itself a hypocrite of sorts.
I don't need to cope with anything, I'm going to be me regardless of what others say or think. I can't change who I am inside. Some will accept it, others won't, I can't expect everybody to like me, and I don't.

Answer 5

Personal value should not be defined by society. If society truly had that right the slaves would never have been freed. Your value is defined by God. As a Gay Christian I believe what the Psalmist wrote: God knit me together on my mothers womb and knew of all my existance before I was born and God called it good for I am wonderfully made.

This is the God I know, talk to , hear from and follow daily. This is the God of all creation, including you. Society has placed you in emotional and mental bondage often times using God's name. They are wrong and God will deal wiht them appropiately. God want you to be free of their bondage. This will take some time because the wounds they have inflicted are deep but they can be healed.

I recommend you go to http://www.jesus.com and access the MCC resources. If tehre is not an MCC near you look for a UCC. Join that type of affirming community and od not just attend services but get involved in their bible study programs as well.

I also recomend you seek a Pastoral Counselor in your area. They will help you in reconciling your spirituality and divine creation wiht your daily life. I can not assure you that all pastoral counselors are not condemming so you will need to reasearch them a little. I am in Raleigh NC. The best here is TPC @ http://www.tripastoralcounseling.org/ and would be a good model for you to look for in your community.

Last start taking control back. You do not have to stand there and take it nor do you have to wear your self out arguing. You can walk away head held high that their opinion isn't worth a hill of beans because you give no value to it but have great value in yourself.

I pray you hear will God's blessings of love and acceptance for yourself

Answer 6

It's all relative. In many Native American cultures, transgendered individuals were actually considered to be the spiritual leaders of the people. As for religious groups who view you unworthy of God, though it's hard, you have to keep in mind that the God these people have fabricated in order to put down those that disagree with them is surely not the entity that created you, and therefore loves you. Otherwise, why would he have created you in the first place.

Answer 7

Dear Zul ...

Church and state both have been wrong about many things during history.

For example, Galileo's theories about how the solar system works.

It was not until the 1980's that the Catholic Church finally acknowledged the truth of his work.

And the state supported slavery in the USA for many years.

It may be wise to examine why you place so much value on the opinions of the church and the state.

Answer 8

I'd say find another church, one that knows that God is still speaking, and one that centers on God's law as taught by Jesus Christ, and that is LOVE.

As for the state, you belong in the demonstrations, and petitions and phone banks and whatever else it will take to elect public officials that will change the laws. It has worked in Vermont and Massachusetts and other states to a lesser degree, and in several nations of the world. We can do it too.

Answer 9

I am not a transgender but I do think there's nothing wrong with you and you and me and all the rest are equal. Don't think of yourself too much. Focus on how you too can make the world a better place and prove them that although you may be put in a wrong body you're still a better person in every inch that you are. And that your existence is far more meaningful than theirs.

Answer 10

As a gay male, I cope as best I can. I do my best to be myself. I walk in the integrity of my own truth. I also work very hard at not doing to others as has been done to me. It has been a very long hard process. It was also a very sad day when I woke up and realized that I was being just as judgemental as those who disliked me. I hang with people who are like minded. Tolerant and loving. Patient and kind. The real funny thing is you find people like that in the strangest of places.

Answer 11

I easily have an extremely unique position in this difficulty. My large grand mum and dad immigrated from what's now South Africa to usa of america in 1872. My father married a lady from what's now St. Thomas V.I. in 1931. (I easily have documents to tutor those dates) i became born on Dec. 9, 1938 contained in the piney woods part of East Texas. giving you slightly of my personal heritage, i trust is significant for you to do not ignore that i'm an American of African descent, no longer an African-American, and certain, i'm caucasian.