why do so many teen mums kep their babies?

Question

I just dont get why young girls would wan to give their lives away?

This is not a dig at people who choose to have a family young as in older enough to have sex. I apoloies if this may have caused affence to any one whom choose to have a family young.

I hope this has explained in more detail.

what i mean when teen mums give up their life is when they havent finished school.

a lot of you keep going on the BENEFITS side of things i havent said aything about that.

yeah it makes my blood boil but the kids have to be fed some how.

once again i mention about im not going on aout people who are old enough to have se

Hello Danielle, im sorry for my grammar is not up to scratch atthis time of the night.

i am not married nor an i young, well not 2 young any way. I am very much a traditionalist in some ways, i would not like to have childern out of wed lock only because that is me.

I would love to think that most young mums would continue schooling after giving birth.

Answer 1

You make it sound like getting and going through Abortions or putting a child up for Adoption is as easy as pie!

Abortion is THE hardest thing for a woman / girl to go through because it goes against all their instincts. As soon as a woman falls pregnant her motherly instincts to protect that child kick in. The Emotional effects can also be devastating.

And Adoption can be so difficult and damaging on so many levels. Firstly they would have to go through the birth, see their child only for it to be taken away. And theres the fact that no-one has faith (rightly so) in the social services and orphanages.

So consider that before you start wondering why so many girls are opting to make a go of things! Cos it isn't easy!

Answer 2

I was 18 years old when I got pregnant and 18 when my baby was born. I did graduate from high school with a 3.7 GPA and an advanced diploma....also with a scholarship worth 10,000 dollars. I still enrolled in college and went to school my first half of my pregnancy. During the second half I took it easy and took online classes since I didn't want to miss class when my baby was born. I plan on going back this fall on campus. I don't receive food stamps or money from the state...I have plenty of family that's there for me since I chose to stay in school. I do receive medicaid so that my baby can have a good pediatrician. I don't believe I gave my life a way because I'm still doing what my peers are doing that don't have kids that graduated in my class which is going to school being a full-time student. Just because one is a teen mom doesn't mean they should be criticized because there are many adults out there way above their teen years that are some of the worst parents in the world. Age isn't so much of a big issue I think as long as it isn't too young...it all depends on the person. I think I'm a damn good mommy and manage to keep A's, if not A's, B's in school and could care less about ones opinion on teen moms.

Answer 3

I got pregnant at 18 had my son at 19. Its not about giving your life away. Why are people so cynical? If you have a child under the age of 20 you are automatically looked down on. I think it's ridiculous that people think they can judge you based on how young you are. It shouldnt be based on that, if you appear to be unable to cope with having a child then maybe people can comment but other than that, people should keep their remarks to themselves. I am not irresponsible or stupid. I got all my gsces and i have 4 A levels, 1 AS level and a GNVQ in IT. I was on a year out when i dropped on. I have decided to just do my studies from home so that I can still see my son everyday. I will still be working as I hate the thought of living off benefits. I have been with my son's father for years now and we are still together even now. Just because he was born out of wedlock means nothing. Marriage has lost all meaning now anyway. People making a mockery of it. My son will not grow up to be a bad child or grow to be a bad adult just because we werent married before he was born. I think that opinion is jut obsurd! Anyway, at the end of the day everyone has their reasons for ''giving their lives away'' may it be for the wrong reasons or not. It's not always the teem mum's decision. Some are forced into a decision either by family, friends, religion, etc. I think that maybe you should think about other factors rather than automatically blaming the teen mum. I think that people should stop being so narrow-minded and think of other options/reasons for why the child was born. Some mums who are very young ie 15, are actually good mums! They know their priorities, they mature faster and do everything they can for their child. Until you know the facts of each teenage mum, I don't think that you have the right to slate them. Think about things before acting.

Answer 4

i can see were your coming from but i would just like to add a few facts for people to think about.

if you are under the age of 16 you do not recive any benefits, over 16 you get £112.00 per week which really does not go far for you and a baby to live on so i rally don't think they do it for the money and you do not get a flat or house from the council.
infact you can not even appily for a council house untill you are 18 years of age. if your under the age of 18 and your mum or dad kick you out then you are homeless and can stay in a hostle not a FREE COUNCIL PLACE!!!!.

i know this because i work every day with young mums who need help and advice.

and i would just like to add that for some people having a baby is the most wonderfull thing in the world no matter what there age and i take my hat off to any young mum as they get such a bad rep from narrow minded people. being a mum is a tuff enought job as it is with out everyone looking down on you as well.

Answer 5

Often girls and women are looking for purpose in their lives, or even an escape (from school, jobs, other expectations/responsibilities). They think that a child will bring them purpose. This can be true, certainly, but sometimes it brings more grief, stress, heartache, etc., as you mentioned.

A poll by Ann Landers (a deceased advice columnist) revealed that over 80% of parents later regretted having children.

That’s pretty strong testimony that in the long run (decades), parenting often is not as fulfilling as people had hoped it would be.

Children do not “belong” to parents, and often the disappointments they cause when they don’t think/act/turn out exactly like parents hope are heartbreaking to parents.

It takes incredibly strong, confident, open-minded people to be wonderful parents and truly, honestly love and respect children just the way they are.

Parenting is not for everyone. Too many people do it just because they’re a certain age, or their friends or siblings are doing it, or because they have trouble finding other purpose (volunteering/community service/worthwhile vocations, etc.), or because they’re lacking love, or they want to manipulate a boyfriend/spouse/parents, etc.

Answer 6

Some of them are actually able to raise a child. I got pregnant at 17. I've never been on welfare and I'm still with my daughter's father. As far as giving my life away; I haven't. I'm going to school next year as well as marrying my daughter's father. Just because a lot of teen moms are welfare whores doesn't mean all are like that.

As far as getting everything paid for; I'm paying to go to school. My fiance and I pay our bills. We pay for clothes, diapers, food, and everything else that comes with having children. I didn't plan on having 2 children before I was 20 but you know what, birth control isn't effective when the girl taking it has a very high fertility rate. It also doesn't help the the man that fathered the child has a very high sperm count. We were both told this by doctors after having a second child with me being on birth control. Why don't people just stop judging others for everything.

So you're talking about whores like my cousin. She's 15 and pregnant. She TRIED to get pregnant. She's been TRYING since she was 12. It's sick I know, but what's the point in her giving the baby up for adoption when she was trying to get pregnant in the first place. I admit that a lot of girls are stupid when it comes to things like this.

Answer 7

Most *young* mothers choose to keep the baby because they were unhappy with their upbringing or because they feel unloved themselves and now here is someone to love them!
Unfortunately is doesn't always work that way. Many of these babies are malnurished and neglected.

Others may feel that they can't give up something that is theirs. A baby is not a toy and not a possession and if there was real love there a very young mother would choose the best for that baby and make sure it went to a loving home with parents who can provide stability and a future.

Yes it hurts, but love usually does.

Answer 8

I would love to answer this question. I was on birth control and I got pregnant at 15.. young i know.. but when i found out i was pregnant i was so excited i have to admitt.. it was a total accident but i had alot of experience with babies before.. i know to some people that is a horrible thing but i kept her.. i have never been sso happy in my life. i had her when i was 16 and now i am 17 and she is 8 months old. this has been such an amazing experience i could never be happier. i didnt give my life up to anything but my baby and i am happy. it has helped me grow up so much.. i had so many friends that smoked pot and other drugs and if it werent for be having a baby i would probably be going down the drain like them.. i cant speak for other moms but i am going back to school soon. next year actually.. but thats my answer.. and by the way i have 3 other friends that have had babies and they are wonderful moms and none of them regret what they did.. and also i have had so many people support me on the decision on keeping my baby and they all think i am a wonderful mom!

Answer 9

Because they realise they are too old to play with baby dolls?

Probably for the same reason they get pregnant to begin with, they think they are old enough to do adult things and do not realise the harm they are ultimately doing to themselves and to their child. Because they don't have self-confidence so know with a child they will get someone who looks up to them, it's something that makes them worth something and keeps their boyfriends close to them to some degree in most cases.

I'm sure the fact that live offers them little without a child, and government offers them so much doesn't hurt either - think about it, most teen mothers are not the brightest of people, even if they were years of college and university is still unlikely to get them anywhere. Now if they were to have a child it is a family, they can keep the father around, they get benefits, free child care, a house and a lot of other things.

You also have to remember that a lot of teen mothers don't have to throw their lives away, they have parents to shoulder some of the responsibility for them, and so they should given as it was their fault their children were stupid enough to get themselves into this position to begin with as there are very few excuses for teen pregnancy.

Answer 10

Every person may have different values to affect judgements. I do not believe that it is giving up their lives altogether, but there are MANY of couples who would love to adopt.
It is very hard to be a married couple wanting children, but unable to due so and every where there are young moms in punk clothes, barely sixteen haulin around this infant.
So sad, what a life.
In some circumstances I agree with you, but most people no matter what age have the incentive to do the right thing.