My husband and I plan to get pregnant with our first child next year. We will be together a total of 6 years when our baby is born (if all goes right)! I am 23 and he is 25 right now.
I have run into a lot of people who make comments that are meant to discourage me from getting pregnant.
People say things like:
Why would you want to have a kid now when you can have babies when you are in your 30’s instead
When you have a kid you can forget ever seeing anyone or leaving your house
When you have your baby you will never get to spend time with your husband anymore
Then there are those people that just ramble on about how hard it is to have a kid and how you have to sacrifice so much.
I understand what it means to be a parent and we are ready to be parents and share our love with children. :)
Why do so many people have such a negative outlook on being a parent?
2006-07-12 08:38:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you've been married for 6 years, then go for it. Some people do not handle responsibility very well and remember the sacrifices they had to make when they had children. It a lot of responsibility but also a lot of joy. You have my vote!
2006-07-12 08:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got the same reaction when I told people I was already pregnant, and long before I ever got pregnant. I guess some people regret becoming parents.
My sister for example had her first at 20 years of age after getting married when she was 18, and now that she is 23, she wishes she had taken more time to be young and party and sleep around. I think this is very selfish of her because they actually CHOSE to get married and pregnant and just because she would take it back now doesn't mean everyone else wants to "act young and have fun all the time".
If you are ready and know having a child with the man you love will make you happy, don't let other people's negativity bring you down and make you doubt how you feel.
Good luck!
2006-07-12 15:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by Queen D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The circumstances are no different for those adopting, either. We get to hear all of the, as if we never thought anything through. What baffles me is why people think any of it is their business to anyway. This is where boundaries come in. Sooner or later, you will have to let people know this and eventually stop talking about it altogether. I realize everyone thinks they know what is best for you. The fact is: they don't know your medical situation or anything about your relationship. They don't know.
I really believe many people are like gumball machines. Whatever pops into their heads immediately rolls off their tongues and falls out of their mouths without recourse. No tact, no sensitivity, no thought on what the effect might be.
I'm sure you can count on one hand how many people have said all the wonderful things about parenting, like, "You're going to love being a mom", "You will be so amazed how wonderful children are". I'm here to tell you: You will love being a mom. You will find so much joy in your children.
And by the way, I "waited" until my 30's to try and conceive. Now my husband and I are unable to have our own biological children. I say you do what you need to do for you and tell others to mind their own business. God bless you.
2006-07-12 17:48:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because their life experience tells them that early 20s is too young. You can listen to this advice, or choose to ignore it.
Be aware that they have a point! Delaying childbirth is statistically linked with higher income, healther children, lower divirce rates, better education and a lower risk for all sorts of bad outcomes. The children's income also increases. 30 is optimal, statistically.
It's obvious you have doubts, even in your question, you're trying to make your marriage seem like it was longer than it is, so you know somehting's up. You count from when "your baby will be born" and you count the time you knew each other before you were married.
Maybe you will take their advice, maybe you won't, but you can't argue that it's bad advice.
2006-07-12 16:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They act that way because parenthood was a negative experience for them. Just tell them you are sorry they have that view, but you are excited about the next chapter in your life. I've had all my kids young and I'll still be in my mid 40's when they have all graduated. Yipeee! To each his own, but I like being a younger parent. Why wait till your 30's or 40's if you are in a stable marriage and you both want kids? I say more power to you both, and enjoy the baby making!
2006-07-12 15:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like that think that they mean well, but they really don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Like you don't know your life is going to change when you have a baby?
It drives me nuts how perfect strangers think that they have the right to comment on you or your family.
I'm 19 and I've been married for two and a half years. Our first child was born on March 7th, and everyone kept telling us we didnt need kids yet and all this crap, but they were wrong. Sure, our marriage changed when Ethan was born, but his birth brought nothing but joy to us. Our family is almost complete now, and everything is perfect with him.
2006-07-12 15:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by E's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as a new father of a 3 month old , i have a wonderful family. a lot of all that is true. i promised myself that we wouldnt have kids until i graduate college, the day i graduated is the same day my wife and i found out that we were pregnant. although a lot of what people say is true, it is going to be tough, it shouldnt matter what those people say. just be sure that you are financially stable when you decide to have kids because it isss expensive. if you cant feed em,dont breed em. im not saying that is your case, but you are going to want your kid to grow up with everything. it will be harder on you to go out and have a good time, buy luckily for me i have a family that is more than happy to keep my daughter while my wife and i go out or when we need some alone time
2006-07-12 15:48:18 · answer #7 · answered by daniel e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what makes you happy, and don't listen to people's negative comments about parenthood. Granted, parenthood is a lot of responsibilities, and your life will change in a big way - forever. You're going to be responsible for another human life! But if you go into it knowing what to expect, and are in a committed relationship, and have the blessing from your family, then you should be fine. It's your life so no one else should decide for you how you should live it.
2006-07-12 15:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by frenchfri82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my children at 21 & 23. Best decision ever! I love being a young mom! Go for it! You'll love having the energy to chase after them when they are young. And when they grow to young teens they will not be embarassed to be around you. All my kids friends think I'm the cool mom! Yeah for me!! And Yeah for you to be!!!
2006-07-12 15:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never personally come across anyone who said things like that to me, thankfully. I think if you want to try for a baby, try for a baby!
These people are probably just bitter and jaded because they're infertile.
2006-07-12 15:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋