My husband got upset at me this morning because I would not go back to bed when I was sick, and he needed to check things on the computer before going to work. He said he was waiting for me to go back to bed before doing his things. I questioned this as it did not make any sense to me. He told me he did not want to be rude and walk away from me to do his things as I was sick and we were talking, so he was politely waiting for me to go back to bed first. He ended up yelling at me, hitting his fists on the table, and cursing at me. He said he did this because I kept repeating myself, and I did not beleive his explanation, and I was trying to turn it into something it was not. He said he was waiting for me to go to bed first as to not be rude, but do you beleive that or do you think he was trying to hide something from me? What do you think?
2006-07-12 08:30:24 · 19 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He kept reminding me how I needed sleep etc.....
2006-07-12 08:39:50 · update #1
In light of all that you said, and the apparent difficulty you have in communicating with each other, it is very possible he may have been trying to hide something. But the root cause is likely much deeper. It sounds to me like you don;t have a strong and trusting relationship, time to start working on that, get counseling if needed.
Good luck!
2006-07-12 08:36:22 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am throwing in my lot with the majority here who believe he is hiding something.
Classic hiding behavior, by a passive guy who wants to avoid conflict.
First he figures he can do his "computer thing" because you're sick and will be going to bed... but you screwed up his plans by not going to bed.
Then he tried to get you into bed in as nice and seemingly innocent a way as possible.
When this eventually failed, he flipped out due to frustration and not being able to control your behavior -- and no doubt then he was pissed too because he had just revealed he had an ulterior motive.
I'm not sure what he was planning to do. I'm not convinced it was pornography, because he can access that anytime, anywhere; and so if the morning hadn't worked out, he could have simply waited until later.
I would suspect more he was planning to be somewhere online at a certain time... and he flipped out at the point where he was scheduled to show up and you were still not going to bed.
This is pure speculation (based on intuition and common sense), but I would be more afraid he is meeting someone online, rather than the porn angle. Like I said, porn can be viewed any time; his behavior, though, suggested it was imperative he be online at a certain time.
I'm not sure how I feel about snooping at this point. I don't know whether it is better to confront him first with your suspicions, or to check around first and find some evidence.
If you do snoop, you'd do better checking the address book in his IM software, e-mail, and other things like that. You can also look at his History folder to see what sites he has been to. But if he had to be online at a certain time, it was for interaction -- either a web site or an IM relay.
2006-07-12 09:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really no reason stated here why you shouldn't believe your husband. Next time you have doubt, go back to bed and then sneak up on him while he is using the computer, or learn how to check the sites that he was using.
Most important though, if there is not any trust in the relationship it is probably doomed from the getgo
2006-07-12 08:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by gina_road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check his temporary internet files under my computer on the windows screen also if you share an online account check the email before he does every few days. His behavior does suggest he's hiding something.
2006-07-12 08:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so much bs.... he was wainting for you to go to ber to either get on the internet and do some "stuff" or make a secret phonecall..
Your instinct is right, he is hiding something. Otherwise, he wouldn't be so upset about you not going to bed as his convinience.
2006-07-12 09:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.... sounds like it could go either way! My hubby doesnt care if Im standing over his shoulder when he gets on the comp!! And for someone to act like that, may be cause for alarm, I mean, wow, hitting his fists & cursing at you...
If it were me, I would definitely keep my eyes open for anything suspicious, but, dont be obvious about it. We women dont get those gut feelings for nothing, theres usually a reason!
Good luck.
2006-07-12 08:44:11 · answer #6 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would that be rude? he's hiding something, if your sick tomorrow peep his computer and see what is going on..you can reset his passwords on email by saying you don't know the password and then setting it to something new, you can do the same with instant messanger once you have the email password and get online as him and see what you find
2006-07-12 08:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by violet1656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is hiding something, Check his history on the computer, then you will be able to see a little of what he is up too!
2006-07-12 08:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by christimarie2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up woman!!! Your man is definitely keeping something from you. Anyone who would throw a tantrum because you wouldn't go back to bed has some serious issues.
2006-07-12 08:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by fourcolor4u2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he on the computer and trying to hide it from you because it's for you!! A birthday, Anniversary or just an spontaneous I love you surprise gift. give it a little time and then readdress the subject.
2006-07-12 08:36:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋