Weve been married for 9yrs and recently went through some hard times. I was ready to leave when I found my first love online. We talked for a while and then we met and were together. My husband found out and is heartbroken. It has changed our lives for the better. Because we both realized how much we love each other and we werent ready to split. I really regret doing what I did and have cut all ties with my first love. He is having a hard time dealing with the thoughts of me being with someone else. I have apologized and hes accepted it but it still hurts him and he makes rude comments sometimes. I want to make all of this right and move on. How can I get him to trust me again ?? How can i help him cope with the pain ?
2006-07-12 08:08:25 · 26 answers · asked by Crystal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be honest with him and be patient. Time is the only cure for this. Over time, he will get over the pain and the anger and over time, you will earn his trust back. But after 9 years, it may take a while for him to trust you again. If he really does love you, it will happen. Eventually he won't bring it up so often. Prayer will help loads. Maybe some marriage counseling and a weekend getaway for the 2 of you to rekindle the originol flame ya know?Good luck!
2006-07-12 08:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
After I used to be in the Airforce there have been matters I did that were not regulation requisites, however the important thing was I in no way let anybody see me do it. By no means let your left hand recognize what your proper hand is doing. Your marriage has all the playing cards on the desk now. There will be brighter days, but don't try to justify what you probably did fallacious versus what he assumed that now is a reality. Make ends meet and tie up all of the indifferences...Transfer on and begin over again, however this time open your legs to the one you like and love best... It's now not up for grabs every time you come to a decision to lay down with anyone other than your husband...That is a no, no and has consequences. Actually enormous quantities of marriages are ruined from infidelities and it hurts, exceptionally those you're keen on and care about together with your daughter. Do not coach her bad habits. What's finished is finished there is no turning back the clock now.
2016-08-09 00:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by threat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if he did that to you?
I could NEVER NEVER forgive something like that. I'd be divorced before he could spell it.
I'm sure you feel terrible and would take it all back if you could, but I just could NEVER forgive or forget that. The trust is gone, I hope your husband can forgive you, but he'll never forget it.
I honestly don't know how you could get his trust back.
What would make you Trust him again if he was the one to betray you? Whatever that might be, might work. It's worth a try anyway.
How long ago did this happen, if it was just a few months ago, your husband might not be able to go on like he had hoped and the comments are meant to hurt you the way you hurt him. IF he really wants this to work, then HE needs to STOP with the comments or he'll end up turning you away again.
In between a rock and a hard place
Good luck
2006-07-12 08:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even as i became in the Airforce there have been issues I did that were no longer regulation criteria, notwithstanding the most important became I not in any respect enable anybody see me do it. not in any respect enable your left hand recognize what your excellent hand is doing. Your marriage has each and every of the playing cards on the table now. there'll be brighter days, yet do not attempt to justify what you probably did incorrect as against what he assumed that now can be a truth. Make ends meet and tie up each and every of the indifferences...flow on and commence over again, yet this time open your legs to the single which you adore and love in basic terms... this is no longer up for grabs each and every time you ascertain to position down with someone except your husband...that is a no, no and has consequences. actually 1000's of marriages are ruined from infidelities and it hurts, fantastically those you adore and care about which include your daughter. do not prepare her undesirable conduct. what's completed is completed there is not any turning decrease back the clock now.
2016-10-14 09:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by silvi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have put yourself in a very uncomfortable position. Trust is something that is earned and not given. Lots of men and women consider trust as one of the foundation blocks a successful relationship. You are seeing the results of cheating every time you look into his eyes. Sounds like he honestly loves you and was deeply hurt by your actions. The biggest problem was that even though you were thinking of leaving, you did not before hooking up with your first love. My opinion is that you have put a hole in his heart that will probably never totally heal.
The task you have before you is to try and heal the wounds by demonstrating undeniable love and devotion to him. Maybe then he will honestly forgive and you regain his trust.
2006-07-12 14:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by Gary S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is the only healer. It is going to be a long and bumpy road for him because you betrayed his trust. Your affair will always be in the back of his mind because he feels that he didn't do anything to deserve what you have done to him. The only way you can gain his trust back is to leave the affair issue alone. You must expect that he will always make comments but as time passes they will come fewer and far between.
I am married to my husband for 10 years now and I know exactly what your husband is going through.
2006-07-12 08:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am glad you guys decided to work things out. Your husband's little comments I guess are because he is still hurting. You have to give him time to heal and completely forgive you. The only way to regain his trust is to show him you are trustworthy. Make sure he has no reason to doubt where you are. Wherever you tell him you are going to be make sure that is where you are. If you say you are going to call him----call! The more and more you do these things the more he will trust you and off course it never hurts to rock his world in bed!
2006-07-12 08:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why bother?
Just kidding. That question was to provoke a thought process in you to figure out WHY you want your husbands trust back. Is it really worth it?
My wife (25 years) still doesn't believe me that I have not cheated on her because my daughter saw one of the early spam e-mails that go like "about last night" several years ago. If I could afford a divorce I would. I'm sick of her petty suspicions.
2006-07-12 08:17:30 · answer #8 · answered by i wear one button suit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love him, assure him, and let time works it's magic! You two love each other, you are sorry for your actions and have said so, let Father Time take care of it now. You can help him cope with the pain, by being there for him always. It will get better, considering you have the attitude you have, and are sorry for what you did. Best of Luck!
2006-07-12 08:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is really not over it if he keeps bringing it up. However, you need to keep reassuring him that you have actually learned from your mistake. It is hard to forgive and forget something like that and very few couples are successful in putting it completely behind them (sorry, but it's true).
Find ways for him to gradually trust you again. Do things to prove to him that he is the ONLY man in your life.
Revive the romance between you two.
2006-07-12 08:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋