im 25 he's 35 we have been together for 11mths it started as a fling yes i know, he was married they split up not all becuase of me....the most important thing in his life is his child and yet he is not ready to let him meet me yet i dont want to push things but really feel that it has to happen soon ????
2006-07-12 08:04:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry - but he is obviously ashamed of his actions and maybe you. He probably knows his son will not be accepting of you under the circumstances and wants to avoid the conflict. After 11 months - I think you need to realize this will not be one happy family if you get married. You will have to decide if being with this man will be worth the constant turmoil that comes with being considered a "home-wrecker" by his entire family. Even if you say you didn't cause the break-up - his child and others in the family see it differently. Children especially need someone to blame other than either of their parents.
Every time you have a conflict with his son - you will be the villain.
2006-07-12 08:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does not have to happen now or anytime soon-- Don't push it, that was his family until it all fell apart. I know its not your fault but part of the reason why this has happened is because he fell in love with you and had to make a choice.
Don't put his son in a situation where he has no choice, there will be a right time when your b/f will want to make the next move but let him do it in his own time. It makes it moreso complicated if you have children by another person too..
Think about how he is feeling right now.
2006-07-12 22:02:07 · answer #2 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is the son? If the son is very young, he will associate you with a substitute mommy. He can't help it. If he is older i.e. teens/preteens, it can get ugly but then again it might not.
Just remember this: His son is #1. He's concerned about him. Work with him to assure him that you will back him up with whatever he decides. And make it clear, that you want to take your relationship to a new level/dimension i.e. you want to start to be included in the relationship. Awkward? It will be. But if there's a future with this man, it starts with taking small steps today.
2006-07-12 09:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is the child? You will meet the child in good time. Try not to push things, he is only having his kid's interest in his heart. It must be frustrating for you, but it will happen. And yes, I agree, be a friend to the kid, dont act as his mum otherwise he will reject you and so will his dad.
2006-07-12 09:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take it personally, wouldn't it be worse to be around someone who introduced his kids to every girl he dated thus confusing the child? I suspect he's just looking after the child and doubt it reflects on you at all.
You could always carefully ask why or when you might meet the little one.
2006-07-12 10:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by phil d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason that you should not meet his son.Meet him earlier so that you can build up a relation with him
2006-07-12 23:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when u feel ready just be nice ti him and don't act like his mom
2006-07-12 08:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥♣BABY GIRL♥♥♣ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋