i also have a six year old we were married for 9 years now he wonts to work things out i have an attorney to put restrainin order on him and police has pictures, my bruises are only in my arms they dont hur but i got him pretty bad i was angry he cheated he told me there was nothing and we had actually improved our marriage until i found out what he did before now im angry and he still wants to be married , i have his life and career in my hands what should i do, i love him but i can do him alot of damage if i want to get even and end the marriage.but my children are at stake, i wanted this to work out but he hit me too, and he cheated!
2006-07-12 07:40:28 · 27 answers · asked by jackiegradilla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand that you still love him and want the marriage to work out, eventhough he hit you. It's not a good idea for you guys to be together at this point in your life...especially with you being pregnant and having a six-year-old, but you shouldn't call it off right away. Go and see a marriage counselor to see if you can work things out. BE CAREFUL!! Once you've been bruised, there is a good chance it will happen again, so an at least temporary separation would be best. Thinking of your children is the best thing to do, so consider whether you think they would be safe living in the same house as your husband. Consider yourself too, though, asking the same question in regards to you. Good luck and your family will be in my prayers!
2006-07-12 08:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny! You are in a bad place! First of all, revenge is a double edged sword! If you do something to jeoprodize his job, you are not just hurting him, but you and the kids too. If things can't be worked out, you will still need to get support for you and the children and you cannot do that if he does not have a job.
I was say stay serperated for awhile, and get counseling for yourself first, once you get yourself together, include him in it to see if there is a chance that you can remain together. See if you can find out what caused him to do these things, be honest with yourself and your counselor, see if you had a part in it somehow.
Someone once said "The strongest steel goes through the hottest fire" life can burn sometimes. And sometimes you can come through it, a little crisp, and other times you just melt. But either way, you do what you have to take care of you and your kids (hurting their father is going to hurt them too) and getting your life in order, in what ever way seems best after calming down and sorting things out rationally!
2006-07-12 07:52:55 · answer #2 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children ARE at stake.
Perhaps their safety/lives are on the line.
Perhaps not. But even if THEY aren't in danger, they sense of what a relatinship looks like is. If you have a son, he is going to grow up thinking this is how women are treated. And they will continue this generation after generation. If you have a daughter, they will grow up thinking this is how love is shown and how they should be treated.
Is that what you want for your children? Is this what you want for yourself? A person who would hit a pregnant wife is no man and definitely not marriage material. Rethink this, protect yourself and your children. It's your responsibility. It's not easy, I really understand that. But it's the burden on your back at this point.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-12 07:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by iam1funnychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no need to put up with him and thats great news to hear that you had the attorney put a restraining order on him he has no business putting his hands on you then you are having his baby you need to leave him and not give him a 2nd chance if he has struck you once it will happen again no doubt about it of course he will be apologetic because he wants his family but don't fall for it but it is no need to get even i know you're mad but destroying him will not make you feel any better thats beneath you just make him pay child support and be through with it you can hurt him more by showing him that you're a bigger person by you removing yourself from the relationship is revenge enough think about it he may have his career and whatever but he will not have his family that's a big price to pay think about
2006-07-12 08:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by TEXXBRATT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding?? That is serious...get away from him...get as far away from him as you can. Move on with your life for the sake of yourself and your children. How long until he hits you so hard he kills you?? Then what?? Your children grow up without a mother!! Screw him...he's in the wrong. Once a cheater always a cheater! Once he has hit you, there will be no stopping it. I don't care how much you love him, if he has hit you and cheated on you...obviously he doesn't love you back!!!
2006-07-12 07:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by itsjustme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about this: What if he hits you again? He probably will. Do you want your children to grow up in this environment? It's easier to leave sooner rather than later. Think about your kids, do you want them to think that this way of life is acceptable and that this is the way a man treats a woman? How would you feel if one of your kids was in the same situation because it's what they grew up with. Break the cycle now. There are social programs and services in your area to help you if you need it.
2006-07-12 07:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by kirsty h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one you should not take him back. But is he a good father to your 9 year old? If you do end up getting a divorce you need him to be able to pay child support, which I think is punishment in its self, and take care of the new baby. Put the restraining order on him, but I wouldn't try to get him fired so he can take care of you financially, because that is what he deserves since he beat you up and cheated on you.
2006-07-12 07:46:09 · answer #7 · answered by luckymom43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you have alot of things going on and some things that I didnt really understand. Did you find out that he cheated before you got pregnant or after you got pregnant. If you had found this out prior to getting pregnant I would have allowed myself to get into that position. I would have brought my husband to a counselor and had things worked out before going any further with him. If you just recently found out that he cheated and you are now 6 months pregnant. I would get out of this relationship as quickly as I could make my little feet run. He apparantly does not have a gentleman like quality in him or else he would have never done this to you. No man should do that to a woman pregnant or not, but is even worse to do it to a pregnant woman. I know that there are children involved but think about this what if both of your children are older and have a knowledge of what is going on with their mommy and you and your husband get into a knock down drag out fight and he puts you in the hospital or worse DEATH, and who will your children go to? Get out and nail his a** to the wall for child and spousal support. Or just get out and start a new "calming" life with your children. and who knows there may be a Mr. Right out there who wants a family and a beautiful woman to share the rest of his life with and he unexpectantly falls into your lap when you least expect it to. It really doesnt sound like he is a good man for you. Please get out of this relationship before something very bad happens to you or the children. Good Luck!!!
2006-07-12 08:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a little hard. I would leave the relationship but if you believe he WILL change then its up to you, no one can make your mind up, only you. Least you both have got things off your chest and if you want to stay together then it has to change and trust is needed in your relationship. You got to think if you could trust him again. I have never been in your situtation so I dont really know what I would do. See how things go and think of yourself and your children first - NOT HIM.
2006-07-12 07:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No woman should have to take being abused married or not.You may snap one day and kill him.Try to go stay with a family member so you won't have to be by your self.You have to think about your kids.I was never married but I lived with my kids father he would hit me in front of the kids,take my car and ride his women around in my car.I put up with it for a long time trying to keep my family together.I finally got tired and told him touch me again and your dead.I put him out .Iit is hard raising the kids by my self he doesn't come around.But I haven't been hit since I was with him.
2006-07-12 07:53:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋