Me and my boyfriend are having a baby....i still live at home...and he is 22 living at home....( his ex cheated on him and he moved back home and found me) We have been dating two months...but our relationship is so great...but also soo new....now we must face the facts and tell them....what is some advice???
We have a Dr. appt. on thursday...and have already taken 2 test that came up pregnant...so i know for sure i am
We plan on keeping them baby...so our desision is final...NO abortion (neither belive in it, unless medical or some rape incidents) and I am addopted and know the pain that can cause
im just worried about telling them....my adopted mom really doesnt like me (i know because she treats me like sh**) and my daddy really loves me...and i dont want to break his heart...and than i have to tell my biological mother, that'll kill her...
so please help
2006-07-12 07:29:20 · 22 answers · asked by ruspecialenuf 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well, you are in quite a pickle. You do need to tell your parents as soon as you can. I know you think your relationship w/ your b/f is great...but like you said it is very new and you are both about to be under a lot of stress and pressure so the honey-moon phase may not last for very long. I hope it works out for you but have a back up plan if it doesn't work out.
Why are you against adoption if you yourself were adopted? You say your 'daddy' loves you (though you may have had some recent issues with your mom, do you think all the years she gave raising you as a little girl were terrible?) and your baby deserves a good life. If you don't get your education, and a job and have a support system from your family it will be a very long, hard life for you and your baby.
If you do decide to parent the baby you should live at home for as long as you can, but don't expect them to take care of your baby for you all the time.
I'm glad you will be giving birth but make sure you talk to a counselor about adoption, and your biological mother, she may be a good person to go to for advice if she was in a similar situation.
2006-07-12 07:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by az 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a baby when I was 17 as well. I'm 24 now and I have a fantastic 6 year old. Although I had to work really hard to get where I am. I didn't have the resources to go to college, but I did finish high school. People are going to find out whether you tell them or not eventually anyway. But for the most part I've found that parents can be really understanding and if they are not there are many opportunities and resources for teen parents. I went to a young parent school that was fantastic. It's hard but if you are responsible it can be very rewarding and it will teach you a lot. I recommend making sure that after the baby is born you get a good form of B/C like an IUD or something that you can't forget like that. It's very important!!! As you have found out. One thing you need to be careful about is believing that everything is perfect because your boyfriend loves you and that you'll live happily ever after. I'm sure he does that's probably not in question but you're a mother now you need to make responsible thoughful decisions. And if you have taken this very seriously you'll have realized that already. Your kid only gets one mom, so be responsible and you'll be fine. Don't be scared, everything happens for a reason, i'm proof that 17 and pregnant isn't the end of the world. I was living in my car when I was pregnant, so think of the positives of your life and tell your family in a responsible matter and just let them know you've made your decision and you'd like them to support it.
2006-07-12 07:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is great...its been 2 months.Sorry to tell you this but odds are you will be a single mom raising the kid on your own,you barely know each other so adding a child to a superficial relationship that has no structure is a recipe for disaster.Even if he stays involved with the child your relationship wont last much longer so you will be stuck at home with a screaming baby while he is out looking for a new stretch mark and saggy boob free chick who still looks young and attractive,even if he swears he will stand by your side during all of this how can you find comfort in that...you dont even know him.Also he is an adult and your a minor so the rape card could be played big time.
2006-07-12 07:45:03 · answer #3 · answered by alecnaaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got pregnant at 17 after only A few weeks in a relationship. I barley knew the guy. Two months is not long enough to judge a person or be starting a family. It happend to me to so i understand everything in life is not planned. I was 18 when my son was born. I kept him he's now 10. The father and i could not take the strain of pregnacy and parenting together the relationship went to h**l. It has made everything way harder then it should have been. I am thankful everyday 4 my boy even thou his father and i are not together his dad sees him all the time pays support. Good luck family has a way of geeting over being angry once the baby is here. Do your best don't let anyone judge you for keeping your own child. It will be crazy hard it will work out it you want it to.
2006-07-12 07:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, get them all together so you only have to do it once. Tell them you didnt mean for this to happen and that it was irresponsible of you and your bf. But you want to make it right, you are keeping the baby and you are going to take care of it. You're bf is old enough to support you so maybe you should consider marriage. If you don't get married I think you should give the baby up for adoption. A baby deserves two parents, a mom and a dad. If you two can't committ to each other how can you be fully committed to the child. I wish you the best of luck
2006-07-12 07:38:47 · answer #5 · answered by JJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you've decided to keep the baby and are against abortion you are going to have to tell your family. Is there another relative you could talk to first who may be able to break it to them more gently? If not you will have to take your courage in your hands and confront your fears about telling them. Their main worries will be how you will handle it and whether it will mean you don't get to live the life they wanted for you (career etc) so you will have to show them that you are mature enough to face this head on and deal with everything that comes your way, and that your boyfriend is going to be there for you. If you can't do this then abortion is a better choice.
I'm having my first baby at 34 (after many years of trying) and its not been easy - I'm 18 and half weeks and have already been off work for weeks with horrendous morning sickness. Even at my age I worry - will I be a good mum? Will we be able to afford to give our baby all he wants? What if my boyfriend and I split up? Having a child is not easy at any age and it really comes down to how mature and wiling you are to make the sacrifices that will be necessary. I had planned to go back to college to study music as a mature student with the view to being a music teacher, but that is a forgotten dream now! Sometimes I'm sad about it but then I already love my baby so much that it will be worthwhile.
I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy. I'm sure if your family love you then they will want the best for you and their grandchild and will be there to support you (and it will not be easy), but you will need to reasure them by showing them how mature and able to cope you are and that your boyfriend will be there for you also. If they wqorry about your schooling you can reassure them that you will return to education once the baby is old enough - and hopefully they will be able to care for him/her while you are at school.
2006-07-12 07:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be mean, but if you want this kid to have a good life you will probably want to do one of a few things.
A: Get back in school, or pay attention in school. Based on how you worded your question, I would say you haven't been very scholastic in your school life.
B: Give the child up for adoption. You have a 22 year old who is living with is parents as a boyfriend to a 17 year old, and he isn't mature enough to realize he needs to use protection. It doesn't sound like the responsibility is enough. Sometimes love just isn't enough. It also sounds like you are not sure of the relationship. Having a baby in that circumstance can mean disaster for *everyone*.
In any case, you have to be up front and brave with your parents. Do not be defiant, it just doesn't get you anywhere. None of them have a say in what your life is from this point on, but hopefully they have some wisdom.
Oh, and another thing... Just becuase you think your mom treats you like crap, doesn't mean she doesn't like you. A *lot* of teens think their parents treat them like crap.
2006-07-12 07:40:21 · answer #7 · answered by J G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain, I was 18 when I had my first child and I was so scared to tell my mother because I thought she would be mad and think less of me, but when I told my mom I was having a baby she was upset that i got myself in that mess but she was also very happy, it was her first grandchild, and even though having a child at a young is hard she was always there for me even when other members of my family talked down on me. So give your parents a chance tell them the good news cause having a baby is a blessing no matter the age.
2006-07-12 08:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by dorleejohnson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only dating for 2 months? Thats real great...I feel sorry for your kid. You hardly know anything about the guy yet you are having his baby. Well here's the only thing I can say to you: You had sex, now you are paying for the consequinces. Sorry, but you have some real growing up to do before this baby gets here. You're 17, you're still a kid yourself...how are you going to take care of one? If you think telling your parents you're pregnant is difficult, try being a teenage mother. Oh, and wait until your boyfriend leaves you...it's real fun then. Was sex really worth it?
2006-07-12 07:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you're 17, you've not even finished intense college yet, so that you in all likelihood make minimum salary, or on the fringe of it. without college preparation you received't get a great job to provide on your toddler. you ought to imagine that you're making sufficient money, because you get carry of a job, stay with mommy and daddy and haven't any household projects. So enable's imagine about some actual existence stuff the following. once you've a touch one you'll favor to pay for the following issues by your self: an section to stay (reckoning on the position you stay and how vast of an section you desire) someplace between $500-2000/month, transportation/gas (reckoning on how a ways your shuttle is) $2 hundred/month (plus automobile price in case you do not own a automobile yet), daycare $2 hundred/week , nutrients $three hundred/month, outfits $one hundred-three hundred/month, diapers $one hundred/month. now to not instruct health coverage, clinical charges, that you will be able to have after having a touch one (prenatal care, hospital/shipping, toddler nicely verify ups) and extra fee in preserving inclusive of your own problem. So how in the international do you imagine you are able to arise with $2000-4000 a month with no college or maybe intense college preparation and a minimum salary job. and also you having to say that if situations get difficult you'll get nutrients stamps and medicaid??? Um yea, this is the purpose for providing your toddler a exceptional destiny... advance up and get your self a puppy!!
2016-10-14 09:49:12 · answer #10 · answered by silvi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋